I had a thought just now, of a magical equivalent of an arms dealer. I can't quite remember what's actual canon and what's my headcanon in terms of limitations on portkey/apparition over larger distances though.

The idea is to have Harry, after a few years in the Ministry (perhaps as the magical equivalent of an intelligence department or weapons development) deciding to strike off on his own and go into business directly supplying illegal wands/potions/whatever all around the world. Or anyone even, maybe going super AU and make Tom Riddle do that, and go from there. Or maybe try some other fandom, like Naruto maybe...

Or maybe it's 20 past 3 in the morning and my brain is supplying rubbish...

 

Dumbledore in a misguided attempt to save Harry Potter from being killed during the return of Voldemort trains him, and in doing so creates one of the finest wizards of the age. A young man who is brilliant, driven and lusts for a challenge, but when there is nary a whisper from the Dark Lord Harry feels lost.

Harry joins the dueling society at Hogwarts during his final year and gets invited to a mid-level dueling circuit. He throws himself at the opportunity to use the skills he's been acquiring since he was eleven and starts rising to the top quickly. Dumbledore can't help but feel that he's losing a son as Harry finds a path for himself. He supports Harry however he can as he feels he owes the boy that much.

We follow Harry around the world for his duels and bathe in the spectacle that is top/high level magic.

 

Harry Potter/Horns crossover (in the same sort of way that The Pureblood Pretense is a Harry Potter/Song of the Lioness crossover)

"Even in the wizarding world, growing horns isn't a good sign, Harry."

Ginny dies in the Chamber of Secrets. Earlier in the year, people thought Harry was the heir, and then he comes out of the Chamber with Ginny dead after she was kidnapped by the heir. With no sign of a third party, people are going to jump to conclusions.

 

You're thinking too small. Try this on for size: Dumbledore suddenly finds himself switched with Michael Gambon's gangster boss from Layer Cake.

 

How about Rufus Scrimgeour is actually Viktor, the vampire elder from Underworld? Luna did have a theory that he was a vampire...

 

Just imagined the Death Eaters assaulted by the Ministry's secret weapon - Death Dealers...I almost feel pity for Fenrir Greyback after Selene deals with him.

 

I have no doubts that there is a HP/Underworld crossover somewhere and I bet its shit and full of slash.

 

I was thinking about a HP/Underword one-shot last year.

Basically Harry and Co are going around Europe trying to convince the various magical beings to not join Voldermort and that anything he promises is a lie. They eventually find Victor and the Death Dealers.

Harry and Co try to give their usual (somewhat condescending considering their age) lecture before Victor gives them a verbal beat-down to remind them that they're hundreds of years old, very wise and simply don't need Voldemort as he can't offer them anything they want or need. And that they don't appreciate them dragging along their token Werewolf to prove how inclusive they are.

 

Harry and Co could shit all over Victor and the Death Dealers.

 

Its been a while since I watched Underworld but don't they have supernatural speed and strength?

 

They're still basically superpowered Muggles. If a group of capable witches and wizards can't take them out then they're doing it wrong.

 

You must be judged!

There are HP/Underworld crossovers but, miraculously, I can't recall ever seeing a slash one. At least it doesn't stick out in my mind.

And they are pretty much all shit.

The only one that I can recall even approaching the mildly entertaining level was HP/Underworld, but also included elements of several other properties, and I think it shipped Harry/Shinobu Maehara (of Love Hina, so it was also a crossover with that). It was from back in the fan fic stone ages.

When do wizards and witches ever do it right?


Having said that, super speed is one of those things that could, with potential ease, stomp all over magic that isn't either already in place (wards/protections), or can't be used for area denial. You're still casting spells that, in most cases, must require at least some aiming, may have a 'travel time' before hitting the target, and are doing so with a more or less human reaction time.

Selene, if I recall correctly, could move pretty damned fast.

 

She still got tossed around by the uberLycan in the last movie, so just transfigure a pack of mutant bears and sic them on her. Her best bet for taking out a wizard wouldn't be that much different from a normal Muggle.

 

Three What If-based plot bunnies that can be used as PODs.

1. What if Sirius' animagus form not only lessened the effects of Dementors on him, but in fact made him immune?

2. What if the Longbottoms were able to defend themselves against Bellatrix and others until the Aurors arrived?

3. What if Merope never stopped giving her husband the love potion?

 

Simple plot bunny: Book Canon Harry ends up in the Harry Potter movie universe. Hilarity ensues because now magic functions differently and everyone looks different too, Hermione has suddenly become hot, Snape is sorta less of an asshole, and events have been weirdly altered. What's our boy Harry going to do now?

 

Tap dat ass.

 

That actually sounds like it could be incredibly fun, written by the right author.

 

This reminds me of an A:TLA fic I read once or twice where the cartoon characters go into the horrible movie universe and basically spork it. It was hilarious and fun to read and so cleverly written. I can't find it now...

 

I believe the fic your looking for is 'Bring Me All Your Elderly'? https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6988840/1/Bring-Me-All-Your-Elderly

 

That's exactly the one. Thank you.

Re: plotbunnies, I seriously like the idea of Lily & James surviving to the present (I don't really care how) and how they deal with all the shit that goes on at Hogwarts. Not really a canon rehash - because I don't very much like canon rehashes - but an AU where they live.