[WIP] Delenda Est by Lord Silvere - T

craigery9700 · 11-19-2009, 10:18 AM

Title: Delenda Est
Author: Lord Silvere
Rating: T
Genre: General/Time Travel
Pairing: Harry/Bellatrix
Chapters: 40
Words: 343,929
Updated: January 13, 2013
Published: November 14, 2009
Status: WIP

Summary:

Harry is a prisoner, and Bellatrix has fallen from grace. The accidental activation of Bella’s treasured heirloom results in another chance for Harry. It also gives him the opportunity to make the acquaintance of the young and enigmatic Bellatrix Black.

Link:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5511855/1/

Mostly posted it because i liked his first story way back when it was first posted. I also enjoy the Harry/Bellatrix ship.

Time travel fic, not sure i like the get the wand from family vault, hopefully, it doesn't have a list of being owned by super-powered ancestors, or that he suddenly finds out from the goblins he is the heir to several ancient magical lines. If it avoids those it could be a rather good fic, too early to give a number rating yet.

Checked by Minion, February 4, 2013

Lincos · 11-19-2009, 10:24 AM

Care to give us a bit more information on the story from your point of view? I've seen this many times on FF.net when looking to see if there have been H/Bella updates, but the summary just never made it enticing enough to actually read.

Tehan · 11-19-2009, 11:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by craigery9700

too early to give a number rating yet.

Then too early to submit to For Review yet, you idiot.

Moeed · 11-19-2009, 11:46 AM

Nice start. His last name is a nice touch and I like how Harry's shown to be mature. The coming Dumbledore talk though will either make or break the fic.

Random Shinobi · 11-19-2009, 03:18 PM

This fic has potential.

Unfortunately that is mostly because I happen to like Harry/Bellatrix, and not because any real accomplishments on the fic's part. The characters are all OoC, and I'm half-way expecting Dumbledore to open the upcoming conversation by "What the hell were you doing, you motherfuckers?"

I will wait at least a few chapters more before rating the fic, but if I had to vote now, I would give it three stars.

Vir · 11-19-2009, 08:52 PM

I like it, although I wish there was more than two chapters. I especially like the title "must be destroyed"

Andro · 11-19-2009, 08:55 PM

Not bad at all. The author can't do witty banter to save his life, and Voldemort hunting down a few survivors after having destroyed the Order and the Ministry before executing Harry, the greatest existing threat, is contrived as hell.

The writing's generally good though.

3/5

Nuhuh · 11-19-2009, 08:56 PM

I liked what is there of it so far. Level of writing is good, but not mindblowingly awesome. Environments are sparse and the general story telling is more or less skeletal. You don't really feel immersed. I feel that the introductory chapters are important in building the 'world' of the story, and that wasn't really done here.

I enjoy time travel fics and this seems like it will develop into a guilty pleasure if nothing else. Several cliches have already popped up, and like Random said characters are all oc.

I believe this will be Harry becomes his parent's teacher type deals, which is usually a turn off for me. Probably because I haven't seen it done well.

Anyway, just two chapters, it's got me interested enough to look for updates but I can't give it an endorsement yet. 3/5 as it stands, but I expect will go to 4/5.

Don E. Delivery · 11-19-2009, 09:36 PM

I read it, but I can't say I was all that impressed with the first two chapters. As Andromalius said, the author is awful with witty banter - in fact, the dialogue is the worst part of the story thus far. It does have redeeming qualities and a potential to get better, but most of that comes due to the rare pairing.

Is the Earl of the North any good? Regardless, this one will probably follow a similar path as that story, no matter how the author says they are different.

I'll hold off on rating this, as it probably shouldn't be in For Review to start with, but if I had to, I wouldn't give it above a 3/5 as is.

Galleon · 11-19-2009, 09:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Averis

Is the Earl of the North any good?

In 2006? Without a doubt

Now? Guilty pleasure at best

SmileOfTheKill · 11-20-2009, 02:16 AM

This is COMPLETELY AVERAGE!!!!
awesome bold to make story remotely epic

crazyfoxdemon · 11-20-2009, 05:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SmileOfTheKill

This is COMPLETELY AVERAGE!!!!
awesome bold to make story remotely epic

For now at any rate... It does have some potential to become a fairly good fic.... Just gotta wait and see how the author writes up the future chapters...

Nuhuh · 11-20-2009, 08:50 AM

It updated. We have had the Dumbledore meets AU Harry scene.

So apparently young Bellatrix Black is a gestalt of Hermione, Ron, Ginny, and the twins, in the authors' words. (facepalm). Why is it that whenever there is someone curious about magic in HP fandom s/he has to be compared to Hermione. It would seem as if the only one actually interested in magic in all of Harry Potter was Hermione Granger and has forevermore claimed all rights to be excited about it. (/rant)

Anywho, for someone who has just sprung out of captivity from god knows how long Harry is way too well put together. Bellatrix is already flat, using muggle phrases and cussing - oh yes, there is love in the air. Abusive ooc lover stereotype here we come.

A couple of original characters were introduced and took up a lot of time in the chapter, I suppose they will be important.

So far my hopes for this getting better are not materializing. That said, it is three chapters long.

Andro · 11-20-2009, 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by N

So far my hopes for this getting better are not materializing. That said, it is three chapters long.

It doesn't matter whether this is three or thirty chapters, it won't get better.

2/5 now. Hopes got shot down remarkably fast.

Johnny Farrar · 11-20-2009, 12:04 PM

An average story that might have been considered good a few years back.

2/5 from me as well.

Pyromaniac · 11-20-2009, 01:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by N

Why is it that whenever there is someone curious about magic in HP fandom s/he has to be compared to Hermione. It would seem as if the only one actually interested in magic in all of Harry Potter was Hermione Granger and has forevermore claimed all rights to be excited about it. (/rant)

As far as I can tell, the only people in canon that are remotely interested in and curious about magic are Voldemort and Hermione.

Anyway, while it's not library worthy, it's not heinous. I'll give it a 3/5 for the recycle bin.

Johnny Farrar · 11-20-2009, 01:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pyromaniac

As far as I can tell, the only people in canon that are remotely interested in and curious about magic are Voldemort and Hermione.

What about Dumbledore? Or perhaps Snape. Even the Marauders. All of them were curious and interested in magic.

Portus · 11-20-2009, 02:15 PM

Uhh, I would think that when talking about canon characters interested in magic, the Weasley twins would spring to mind fairly quickly, what with all the, you know, inventing they did with their joke shop stuff.

SmileOfTheKill · 11-20-2009, 02:37 PM

This is now BELOW AVERAGE!
Read what N wrote. I don't go for abusive girls in stories that act ooc.

Manatheron · 11-21-2009, 02:19 AM

Good Potential, but is running some serious cliche' including Deus Ex time travel Device and 'UBER' wand.

3.5/5 if I rated it, but very much to short to do that.

Edit: 'Ladykiller' Harry is pretty standard for IndyTimeTravel!Harry stories too.

11-19-2009, 10:18 AM	#1
craigery9700 Squib Join Date: Jan 2008 Gender: Male Posts: 27 DLP Supporter	Delenda Est by Lord Silvere - T Title: Delenda Est Author: Lord Silvere Rating: T Genre: General/Time Travel Pairing: Harry/Bellatrix Chapters: 40 Words: 343,929 Updated: January 13, 2013 Published: November 14, 2009 Status: WIP Summary: Harry is a prisoner, and Bellatrix has fallen from grace. The accidental activation of Bella’s treasured heirloom results in another chance for Harry. It also gives him the opportunity to make the acquaintance of the young and enigmatic Bellatrix Black. Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5511855/1/ Mostly posted it because i liked his first story way back when it was first posted. I also enjoy the Harry/Bellatrix ship. Time travel fic, not sure i like the get the wand from family vault, hopefully, it doesn't have a list of being owned by super-powered ancestors, or that he suddenly finds out from the goblins he is the heir to several ancient magical lines. If it avoids those it could be a rather good fic, too early to give a number rating yet. Checked by Minion, February 4, 2013 Last edited by Dark Minion; 02-04-2013 at 02:31 PM.

11-19-2009, 10:24 AM	#2
Lincos Order Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Liverpool, UK Age: 23 Gender: Male Posts: 402 DLP Supporter	Care to give us a bit more information on the story from your point of view? I've seen this many times on FF.net when looking to see if there have been H/Bella updates, but the summary just never made it enticing enough to actually read. __________________

11-19-2009, 11:46 AM	#4
Moeed First Year Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 73	Nice start. His last name is a nice touch and I like how Harry's shown to be mature. The coming Dumbledore talk though will either make or break the fic. __________________ "Killing people is easy...if you can forget the taste of sugar."

11-19-2009, 03:18 PM	#5
Random Shinobi Minister of Magic Join Date: Aug 2006 Gender: Male Posts: 673 DLP Supporter	This fic has potential. Unfortunately that is mostly because I happen to like Harry/Bellatrix, and not because any real accomplishments on the fic's part. The characters are all OoC, and I'm half-way expecting Dumbledore to open the upcoming conversation by "What the hell were you doing, you motherfuckers?" I will wait at least a few chapters more before rating the fic, but if I had to vote now, I would give it three stars. __________________

11-19-2009, 08:52 PM	#6
Vir Centauri Ambassador Prodigium Magus Join Date: May 2006 Location: Canada Age: 25 Gender: Male Posts: 1,541 DLP Supporter	I like it, although I wish there was more than two chapters. I especially like the title "must be destroyed" __________________ Dulce et decorum est pro patria mori, sed dulcius pro patria vivere.

11-19-2009, 08:55 PM	#7
Andro God of Magic Join Date: Jun 2007 Gender: Male Posts: 3,718 DLP Supporter	Not bad at all. The author can't do witty banter to save his life, and Voldemort hunting down a few survivors after having destroyed the Order and the Ministry before executing Harry, the greatest existing threat, is contrived as hell. The writing's generally good though. 3/5

11-19-2009, 08:56 PM	#8
Nuhuh Dastardly Shadow Mod Lasciel's Right Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: USA Posts: 1,804	I liked what is there of it so far. Level of writing is good, but not mindblowingly awesome. Environments are sparse and the general story telling is more or less skeletal. You don't really feel immersed. I feel that the introductory chapters are important in building the 'world' of the story, and that wasn't really done here. I enjoy time travel fics and this seems like it will develop into a guilty pleasure if nothing else. Several cliches have already popped up, and like Random said characters are all oc. I believe this will be Harry becomes his parent's teacher type deals, which is usually a turn off for me. Probably because I haven't seen it done well. Anyway, just two chapters, it's got me interested enough to look for updates but I can't give it an endorsement yet. 3/5 as it stands, but I expect will go to 4/5. __________________

11-20-2009, 02:16 AM	#11
SmileOfTheKill *Magical Amber* Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Florida, Sigh... Age: 22 Gender: Male Posts: 772	This is COMPLETELY AVERAGE!!!! awesome bold to make story remotely epic __________________ "All they do is expound their store of knowledge. They excite themselves with their ranting; their disapproval swells them with a feeling of importance and sick victory, they thrive on spoiling the pleasure and trashing the creativity of others." The Minister shares her opinion of critics. ~ Kino's Journey

11-20-2009, 08:50 AM	#13
Nuhuh Dastardly Shadow Mod Lasciel's Right Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: USA Posts: 1,804	It updated. We have had the Dumbledore meets AU Harry scene. So apparently young Bellatrix Black is a gestalt of Hermione, Ron, Ginny, and the twins, in the authors' words. (facepalm). Why is it that whenever there is someone curious about magic in HP fandom s/he has to be compared to Hermione. It would seem as if the only one actually interested in magic in all of Harry Potter was Hermione Granger and has forevermore claimed all rights to be excited about it. (/rant) Anywho, for someone who has just sprung out of captivity from god knows how long Harry is way too well put together. Bellatrix is already flat, using muggle phrases and cussing - oh yes, there is love in the air. Abusive ooc lover stereotype here we come. A couple of original characters were introduced and took up a lot of time in the chapter, I suppose they will be important. So far my hopes for this getting better are not materializing. That said, it is three chapters long. __________________ Last edited by Nuhuh; 11-20-2009 at 05:49 PM.

11-20-2009, 12:04 PM	#15
Johnny Farrar Order Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: In front of a Computer. Gender: Male Posts: 472	An average story that might have been considered good a few years back. 2/5 from me as well. __________________ Stories in Progress: A Story of Hallows and Horcruxes \| The Potter Politics One-shots: Tequila \| The Duellist

11-20-2009, 02:15 PM	#18
Portus God of Magic Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Music City Gender: Male Posts: 2,553	Uhh, I would think that when talking about canon characters interested in magic, the Weasley twins would spring to mind fairly quickly, what with all the, you know, inventing they did with their joke shop stuff. __________________ Moksha - WbA - For Review - FF.net - PC Geminio - Story Showcase - For Review - FF.net - PC

11-20-2009, 02:37 PM	#19
SmileOfTheKill *Magical Amber* Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Florida, Sigh... Age: 22 Gender: Male Posts: 772	This is now BELOW AVERAGE! Read what N wrote. I don't go for abusive girls in stories that act ooc. __________________ "All they do is expound their store of knowledge. They excite themselves with their ranting; their disapproval swells them with a feeling of importance and sick victory, they thrive on spoiling the pleasure and trashing the creativity of others." The Minister shares her opinion of critics. ~ Kino's Journey

11-21-2009, 02:19 AM	#20
Manatheron Dark Lord Join Date: Dec 2006 Age: 28 Gender: Male Posts: 1,162	Good Potential, but is running some serious cliche' including Deus Ex time travel Device and 'UBER' wand. 3.5/5 if I rated it, but very much to short to do that. Edit: 'Ladykiller' Harry is pretty standard for IndyTimeTravel!Harry stories too. __________________ Known to be Neutral Good And occasionally DLP's Devil's Advocate Those who would give up a little liberty to gain a little security deserve neither, and will lose both. ~Benjamin Franklin~ Last edited by Manatheron; 11-21-2009 at 02:21 AM.

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