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Old 12-13-2005, 07:28 PM   #1
ip82
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The Brave New World by bellerophon30 - T

Title: The Brave New World
Author: bellerophon30
Rating: T
Genre: Drama
Status: WIP
Pairings: Unknown at the moment (probably OC or none)
Summary: A sixth year story, totally AU. Harry decides that his life expectancy will be greatly enhanced if leaves Dumbledore and Voldemort behind. Destination: The US.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2697521/1/

Finally a new Independant!Harry story with good prospects.

This is alternate version of The Final Straw from the same author (thread), where Harry decides to escape to America after all, instead of going back to Hogwarts.

At the moment, there are 4 very long chapters posted (57,000 words), with the first three being more or less the same as in Final Straw. In the fourth chapters some things are done differently, allowing Harry to escape to magical school in US.

I have no idea where will the story go from here. The only thing the author had announced is lighter tone of the story (no character deaths and angst) and good Hermione. But since Harry won't be around canon characters much, I guess it's understandable.

Well, this story has a chance of turning out interesting, especially seeing as the author had kept good update rate with "Final Straw". The only thing remaining to be seen is how will he handle creating a whole new enviroment, without using standard canon enviroment and characters as clutches.
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Old 12-13-2005, 07:42 PM   #2
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I shall keep this under observations and I hope that the author can limit all the plot gimmicks he/she used in the Final Straw. I was a bit overwhelmed by that story and stopped reading it when everything started getting out of hand.
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Old 12-13-2005, 07:48 PM   #3
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Actually he finished Final Straw quite nicely. It WAS somewhat dry at times, like some court transcript, but it had nice parts.

If he keeps the update rate from the Final Straw in this one, I'll go over anything he might spew (even that ridiculous thing about guns).
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Old 12-13-2005, 07:51 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ip82
Actually he finished Final Straw quite nicely. It WAS somewhat dry at times, like some court transcript, but it had nice parts.

If he keeps the update rate from the Final Straw in this one, I'll go over anything he might spew (even that ridiculous thing about guns).
Well, here’s me hoping that it won’t come apart at the seams like the last story. If I remember correctly, I left Final Straw in the middle, and I just read about the guns and find myself glad that I dropped the story.
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Old 12-13-2005, 09:33 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MadEyes
I left Final Straw in the middle, and I just read about the guns and find myself glad that I dropped the story.
Smart man. I finished...and I was like...He had a final battle scene where he drops students left and right, kills Harry's mate. Harry fights back...wins...the end...

I'm like wtf...I mean, this is inline with what I write, but do something about the drama. He leaves it hanging. It's like I want to be symathetic, but because he doesn't write it in, I couldn't give a shit.

Mehe, I guess I just didn't like/hated his portrayal of events. Purely personal opinion. I agree with ip82 that his writing was very good in quality. Had some good fights and confrontations as well and he updates fast! Something I have to give him credit for.
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Old 12-27-2005, 02:13 PM   #6
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I'm looking forward to more chapters of this story...I like that while Final Straw and this story started out the same, this story he actually left the UK. Hopefully it'll be better than Final Straw, but either way it should be interesting.
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Old 12-27-2005, 02:33 PM   #7
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Unfortunately, the author seems too eager to beat the magic out of HP. His school and characters simply seem too ordinary to me, like muggles who use wands occasionally.

But good update rate and ok writing style are enough for me to keep following it.
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Old 12-27-2005, 03:05 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ip82
Unfortunately, the author seems too eager to beat the magic out of HP. His school and characters simply seem too ordinary to me, like muggles who use wands occasionally.

But good update rate and ok writing style are enough for me to keep following it.
Yeah I have noticed this tendency in him as well... The author seems to get so caught up in the political battles and other plot devices that he forgets that his characters are not just engaged in a game of chess/cat-and-mouse, but also magical.

As a result (in this story and in Final Straw) they seem to fall flat because they lack that little bit of intangible "umph" that separates good characters from great characters.
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Old 12-31-2005, 03:24 PM   #9
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Yes he's fallen into a trap I personally have fought against allen into: the Canon OC!

E.g. that chick Harry's now going out with (after a day of contact may I add) seems familiar...wait a minute...she's Hermione Granger!

That other kid (forgot his name too) reminds me of....Ron Weasley. If I'm being as harsh as I usually am, it's downright unoriginal. All the characters are very 2-D, they don't have any other sides to their character or have any development.

The guns and arrows irked me A LOT in the last fic. I almost dropped the fic but found he/she picked it up a bit and ended well.

I think they call the characters the author's created Mary-Sues and Gary-Stus. They're too perfect and normal. This, paired with the fact that this is just a reincarnation of Final Straw, leads me to one conclusion: Bellerephon (sp?) is lacking inspiration at the moment. Is it just me or have I never experienced an emotional or eye-opening moment in any of Bellerophon's fics? He/she seems to play it very safe...it's like he/she doesn't want to take any risks (I may be wrong as Final Straw was a long time ago).

He/She needs to make another story, a different one. Quite frankly, extreme Dumbledore bashing has become rather less popular (in my not-so-humble opinion) and only mild bashing is any good (unless of course the author is very good).

In conclusion, I'll follow this fic as it does mildly interest me. Long winded aren't I

By the way, is anyone else annoyed that everyone seems to think that just because HBP came out, their 6th year stories are AU? It's not people.
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Old 12-31-2005, 03:42 PM   #10
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Starts out alright.

As long as it doesn't end similar to this":

Quote:
Voldemort didn’t know whether to crap or go blind at this point, even he had not known about Snape’s and Dumbledore’s wands being brothers like this, and he thought that he knew everything there was to know about his former henchman. He watched the spells coming toward him, saw that he was truly alone and surely defeated………..and decided that plan C was going to have to be used……..at least Potter would die because of it:

He wrenched free of the double wand mating (which cased the ghosts to all instantly disappear) and somehow avoided getting hit with Harry’s two killing curses………..he then dropped his own wand on the ground and reached into his robes for another weapon and pulled it out:

It was a 9 millimeter Baretta pistol.

Harry was already halfway through another round of Avada Kedavra when he saw the gun come out, he immediately stopped speaking the spell and began his focus on what to do next:

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Three shots fired off in quick succession, but hitting nothing but the wall at the end of the hallway, as Harry Apparated himself just perfectly, directly behind Voldemort. He quickly dropped his wands and drew his fighting knives…………and plunged them right into his enemy’s back as hard as he could, forcing him to drop Dumbledore‘s wand and his handgun to the floor. There was a loud gasp from Voldemort as the knives penetrated his lungs, and Harry yelled out right in his ear:

“I bet you didn’t know that power did you?” With that, he withdrew the knives from Voldemort’s back, and plunged them into his neck, killing him immediately…………but Harry held them in there, screaming:
I may not have to castrate him with a straw. Guy had one of my favorite stories up until the middle part, then it just seemed like it turned into adifferent story. Then again I'm hung up on Harry + lawyer fics, as there's always good politics to play.
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Old 12-31-2005, 05:46 PM   #11
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Quote:
Then again I'm hung up on Harry + lawyer fics, as there's always good politics to play.
Yes, I believe they're taking over the old Dumbles bashing fics.
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Old 12-31-2005, 05:52 PM   #12
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Quote:
Yes, I believe they're taking over the old Dumbles bashing fics.
But.. but... that's not fair! I LOVE Dumbledore bashing fics... :-)))
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Old 01-01-2006, 04:51 PM   #13
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But.. but... that's not fair! I LOVE Dumbledore bashing fics... ))
Dumbledore bashing is good, only matched by teenager-like!dumbledore.


I actually liked the Arrows, because Hogwarts is a bloody castle and the medieval warfare should be incorporated.. but not like:
Quote:
z0mG Harry sent 100000 Legions of hell in a line down to pwn V0ld3m0rt... z0mG he won!
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Old 01-01-2006, 07:33 PM   #14
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But

"z0mG Harry sent 100000 Legions of hell in a line down to pwn V0ld3m0rt... z0mG he won!"

Is writing at its best.
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Old 01-01-2006, 07:52 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by Giovanni
But

"z0mG Harry sent 100000 Legions of hell in a line down to pwn V0ld3m0rt... z0mG he won!"

Is writing at its best.
....compared to what? :P
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Old 01-01-2006, 07:57 PM   #16
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no no no... Harry using the power of love with g1nny and their baby p00ters is the only way that Voldemort can be defeated!

*sarcasm*
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Old 01-01-2006, 08:04 PM   #17
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*scuse the short post, just had to add this*

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Old 02-01-2006, 08:00 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Giovanni
But

"z0mG Harry sent 100000 Legions of hell in a line down to pwn V0ld3m0rt... z0mG he won!"

Is writing at its best.
....compared to what? :P
my 2 year old cousin?
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Old 06-11-2006, 10:04 PM   #19
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This is off hiatus with a huge new chapter.

Everything stayed the same as in bellerophon's previous works, both good (precision, politics, realism) and bad things (everything too mundane and Marry Suish). The only thing that had gotten worse are inline author notes and comments, that are really running rampart in this chapter.

Shrugs, we'll see if he gets back into rhytm, I'm eager to see the trials.
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Old 06-12-2006, 02:55 AM   #20
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Even so, a decent chapter and good for entertainment. His characters still seem flat though...as if they don't experience any emotion. Perhaps this will change in the future.
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