I've only gotten past the timeline, but I really liked the Relay scene. Far too often we get Turians who are ridiculous caricatures or the dreaded HFY, but the Turians doing "their job" then being horrified that they shot up a bunch of civilians is something I haven't actually seen done before despite how much sense it makes.

 

The more I read it the more it looks like the reasonable approach went by-ways and now it's technology grab attempt by Salarian Union and Turian Hierarchy while Asari Republics gnash teeth in impotent rage.

The action scenes are pretty good and so is characterization but I'm getting sick of turian sexism towards asari.
Phrases like 'young lady', 'ladies', 'I trust you read your orders', all spoken in patronizing, dismissive tone really grate on my nerves - especially when you grasp that they are spoken by turians to asari centuries their seniors, mostly veteran commando.

So as you can see this isn't about doing their job but about achieving better political position combined with a tech grab.

There is also a plot-hole. Relay 314 isn't in Shanxi system. It's the neighboring Mass Relay, so the line about reckless activation of 314 right now is stupid. It's a relay connected to the Shanxi Relay so they know where it leads. To Shanxi and from Shanxi Relay towards Human Space... 314 is a gateway between Human Space and Citadel Space, so they actually know what is on either side of it.

Desolas Arterius is stark raving mad:

That right after he ordered orbital bombardment.

The fic is good, and I'll continue reading it. But it has its moments... moments of bad and cringing.

 

I just finished reading "In the Shadow of Gods", and fuck, do I hate Critics United right now. I had never read the story, nor had I heard of that group. What a bunch of assholes, jesus. The story in itself is brilliant and it's brilliantly written. A pity, really.

 

Something I found that explores Shepard from a different view point.

Accidental Hero of the Galaxy

Commander Shepard. Hero of the Skyllian Blitz. First human Spectre. Potential savior of humanity and the known galaxy. Pity no one asked him what HE thought of all this.

 

Yup, that whole series is excellent - the author has side-stories up too which are rather fun, even if expies (from Chuck, which should tell you about the tone) abound.

 

Been enjoying the "War Series" by ProfFartBurger (dumbass name though.) It's one of the best Humanity! Fuck Yeah! stories I've read. It's by no means a 5/5, but it's addictive especially in the Saltorian War that focus a good bit on Shepard.

Mcgraw is a fucking Gary Stu, but thankfully he doesn't have much purpose in the story other than advancing the plot. It's like a better version of Michael Bay. Plenty of badass moments even if the story is not top notch itself.

Quarians play a different role in this one. Yeah they introduce humanity and side with us...but we scare them shitless.

Mass Effect: The First War
The Prothean Ruins weren't. They contained little more than mentionings of an Alien Society; as a result, humanity develops on a completely different path than what was intended, and when first contact is made not with the Turians, but a desperate, destitute race viewed as beggars and thieves, how will this dying race change Humanity? And how will Humanity change the Galaxy? *A/U!*

Mass Effect: The Saltorian War
It is said that War never Changes; Men do, through the roads they walk, but War does not. The Humans fought The First War, and alongside the Quarians, the Alliance stands tall against the Galaxy, in the face of continued adversity. Now Humanity's place is challenged, their power tested, and age-old beliefs are shattered when a beyond-ancient species enters the playing field.

 

It's a 3/5 story altogether but the end of Mass Effect: The First War was awesome, I mean winning this way is just so ballsy that you have to like it. The Saltorian War is meh after this tho...

 

I would give the First War a solid 3/5 and on a good day when I need my fix of HFY! I'd rate it 4/5(But it'd have to be a really good day and I'd have to feel generous).

But the Saltorian War is shit. It drags as hell. The exposition if poorly handled. OC's abound. Fuck, I dropped it two chapters ago because I just couldn't stand it.

McGraw pisses me off like few characters in ff. Harry Potter Gary Stu's could learn from him how to be an insufferable-know-it-all SI avatar.

 

Read the First War a while ago.

Altogether the story is decent and engaging but is severely dragged down by the Human wanking. It gives the idiot ball to other races so as to make the Humans seem better. The Salarians sit around thinking instead of acting before something becomes a real problem. The Turians being unable to react to unorthodox tactics as if they're retarded.

The Human wanking is often made worse by the use of cliches and redundancy. For example the "we want peace but are ready for war" phrase was used to death in this story and by the end I was almost cringing every time I saw it.

I did manage to finish the story so that says something good about it but it left a bad taste in my mouth and I have no desire to look at it again or read the sequel.

 

Right, anyone know of a decently written story where humanity has no need or want to go out into what is considered Council space? I'd just like to read about an isolationist mankind (perhaps with a bit of HFY), who simply have no wish to interact with xenos, and if pushed to it, they'd go for extinction of their enemies, rather than subjugation and then reeducation/reformation.

Think... Imperium of Man from 40k, but less outright hostile towards xenos, more content to coexist, so long as it's from a distance. Of course, there'd be rogue elements of the human race which would go out and mingle with the galactic society, but on the grand scale, humanity would be xenophobic, militaristic and expansionist, but not into sharing the same space as the aliens. I mean, it's not like the whole of Milky Way galaxy is populated by the Council-known races.

So yeah... anyone know something similar to that?

 

You're not gonna have a lot of luck Odran, as far as I'm aware. The overwhelming majority of the time, when humanity is xenophobic and the like, it's expressed as mingling with the Council races specifically to show them up in every possible way because the author has an axe to grind with the Council.

The only ones I can think of that might come close to what you're after are my own story XCOM: Second Contact, where humanity goes to great lengths to stay separate from the Council but maintains diplomatic ties, and Psi Effect, another XCOM crossover where humanity is pulling the strings of the galaxy at large in order to properly set the stage for revealing themselves to the Council races.

 

WANT. MOAR. YOU. BASTARD. MOOOARRRR.

 

You're not the only one.

Believe me, I wish I could. I'm at over a year of writer's block on that shit, it's more than a little depressing.

 

I had completely forgotten about this story. And that was a travesty.

 

Find a DLP author whose story you like, but doesn't get updated much, and suss out if they liked your fic. If they do, offer to match them word for word on an update rate race. Might be the motivation you need. Even if the quality suffers, words are still words, and it'll get you started again.

 

Also, you might want to take a look at this: Click me!

Chuck Wendig has quite the mouth on him, but fuck if his posts aren't motivational as hell. I can't even count the number of times I stopped procrastinating after reading them, completely pumped to get back to writing. If nothing else, give it a read for the fun factor.

 

All right. I've gotten caught up with Of Sheep and Battle Chicken and its sequel. I have to say that while it's almost too #grimdark of a universe for me, it's still damn good. I have to say that, while universe is too grim, Shepard's characterization (both normal and sexual with Liara) is pretty weird. it's still one of the better bits of world building that the series has produced. Even the tertiary readings (The Encyclopedia Biotica, The Cerberus Files, and The STG Reports) are well done and mandatory.

I dunno. I'd like to say that it toes the angst line nicely, but it really doesn't. It's a pretty ridiculous universe where every single faction (Asari, Salarian, Turian, Human, etc) are self absorbed to the point of goofiness. However the worldbuilding truly is top notch.

I still like it, fuck it all.

But goddamn the ME1 part could be trimmed 200K words and lose nothing.

 

I'll gladly give the author 10/10 for world building alone and for the work he put into his fic. But! The freaking angst is getting tedious. Like MonkeyEpoxy I'd like to say that it toes the line but it doesn't. Just last chapter in the sequel we had Tali as the POV and God above I found myself disliking her self-entitled attitude which she probably isn't even aware of.

Reading it I wanted one of the 'bad' and 'evul' asari engineers to slap her upside her helmet and say:
No you stupid, brat. We aren't going to explain our technology to you. No! We aren't going to revel secrets of tech that is generations ahead of the best Salarian stuff to some quarian kid who got herself a commission with the SA. Forget it.

I actually started disliking Tali after the latest chapter. I don't know if I should congratulate the author or be dismayed.

-

There are other issues with this series. One of the main problems I have with it is that the races are so fucking unsympathetic with all the shit they pull off that I stopped caring if they live or die. The Reapers could invade the next chapter and I'd just shrug and not care one iota about the characters. Yes, the asari, salarians, humans, turians and even the freaking volus are so dirty and crazy and power hungry that I just couldn't care if they lived or died.

Spoiler

Salarians opened the Rachni relay by design to start a pan-galactic war and unseat the asari as the premier species of Citadel space.
The asari manipulated the Krogan into starting the rebellions. We all know how that went. :/

The machniations are approaching ridiculous levels of badness and villainy.

I'll probably keep reading it but there are things that could use some work.

Shepard being one of them. She's a mess and her relationship with Liara is crazy, creepy something straight out of a BDSM dungeon turned up to eleven.

It went from rather grim to grimdark raised to the second power.

The author's words that he'll make Warhammer 40k look fluffy by comparison don't inspire much in the way of good feelings about this fic.

But not all is bad and grim and bleak. We have a cadre of characters fleshed so well and with such great care that they make Shepard - yes, her the main character - look rather silly and simple by comparison. Aethyta is just one of them.

We have Jason von Grath who is a human general in the SA and is so badass that Eddard Stark and Robert Baratheon back when they were killing Targ loyalists at the Trident couldn't even apporoach von Grath's level of badassery.

We have Okeer, the scientist who made Grunt in canon. Here he got a whole history about his life, clan, dreams and ambitions.

Jona Sederis, the founder of Eclipse is probably one of the craziest asari to ever live and she makes Wrex uneasy. Take it as you will.

Heck I like LogicalPremise's Udina.

There are also some pretty lulzy one-liners:
Aethyta to Benezia:

Spoiler

She arched her neck, and glared. "Now, enough of this talking bullshit. You're going to surrender, or I'm going to goddess-damn cut you up so fucking bad it will make a turian gang-bang look like a caress."

 

Mythos Effect updated. For those who don't know what that's about, it's basically a mesh of CthulhuTech and Mass Effect. 12 chapters published so far, and the First Contact War is ongoing.

 

How close is it to the canon Cthulhutech setting? Because while its premise was cool, the execution was God-awful.