I liked it. At the moment, I really hope that Harry chooses what is 'easy', and murders everyone. I can see the next chapter going either really bad, or really good, like RagefulLlama said. Bravo, this is one of the few HP stories that I've enjoyed recently.

 

I'm disappointed. I kept reading this fanfiction hoping in an improvement because I saw its potential, but it didn't happen.

There are some things unexplained, unrealistic or just... wrong and a lot of plot holes.

The position of Divination teacher could have leaded to far better results. It could have opened so many different paths... instead, it became something marginal. I didn't like that.

This Harry is an idiot, a pissy idiot who is confused and made me confused. What does he want? Does he want to defeat Voldemort? Does he want a normal life? To be left alone? To be accepted by others?
This confusion could have been used better too. This Harry could have been a character with a good and an original characterization almost impossible to find in HP fanfictions (God only knows how many masterpieces of the literature are born from interior doubts and uncertainties).
Instead, I reached the conclusion that the one confused was the author, and that is not a good thing.

In the last two chapters there are a lot of revelations that maybe are too sudden and a little... stretched, but that can still be explained. However, the battle is unrealistic, especially considering the previous fights that involved Harry.

This story has potential, but it isn't exploited at all.

 

It still impressed me. It had a very Matrix-esque feel to it. I have the feeling that something larger than what is comprehensible is in play. The Order is blatantly caricatured, and I have to wonder what part of the plot led to that.

I keep thinking the story will end with Harry thinking, "Third time's the charm" as he flings himself back into the past again.

 

One word: Wow. Your writing style is very unique: it captures attention and spits out action with no breaks. I must say i LOVED it, especially the more recent chapters. Sometimes, it slows down a bit, but the fight scene at the end of the last ch. was just mindblowing.

 

I've only gotten through the eigth chapter, but so far, the writing is good, and the characters are realistic.

EDIT: Now that I've read all of it... very good. The wrting is great, and, if it hadn't been abandoned, would've featured my favorite type of Harry. Young, powerful, dark, and angry.

4.5/5

 

Amazing fic, very original, however the fact its taken the author more than 2 and a half years for 39000 words, and that he has about 10 incomplete fic's certifies that this will be abandoned, at his current update speed the fic wouldnt be completed in a decade.

Ah well, hopefully someone else will take over / utilize these ideas.

The whole betrayal by Cho and the Order's attempt at turning him into a puppet are inspired, to say the least. I hope Harry breaks free, kills Moody and some other well known but easily replaced people such as Tonks then takes a position as Voldemort's apprentice or possibly equal commandership of the Death Eaters.

Given the other Harry, Ron & Neville's desire to learn the Dark Arts, he could probably even sway them and some of their friends and even bring a third faction to the war.