No comment.

 

7. Deafening Silence by lifeless.bookworm reviews
this is my first posted fic so i will need help with plots and stuff. i'm bad at summeries. basicly harry is deaf and abused. Snape is sent to take him shopping and finds out. yadda yadda yadda reviews are good motivation!
Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: T - English - Angst - Chapters: 7 - Words: 3969 - Reviews: 43 - Updated: 1-6-07 - Published: 9-13-06

This person did get reviews. Which surprised me honestly. But then I just figured that the reviewers must have felt sorry for them or they're not good at summaries either. But this is what gets me about bad summaries. How can you not know what your effing story is about? If you don't, don't write it, because it probably sucks anyway. And off my soap box I jump!

 

This one just made me laugh:

Nothing like aiming for an audience who can completely relate to "smoking crack for the first time."

Ahh... the large crackhead fanbase. It explains a lot actually.

 

SOme of these summaries are absolutely pathetic. Honestly, all these summaries saying "Grieving for Sirius". GET OVER IT, YOU PONCE!

 

Wow... can't be a bad D/H set up can it? It is not so much yelled at you as it is burned into your mind.

 

This one's interesting:

Now I'm All Alone by Dobby's Elf
I have decided that I will delete this story next week, since nobody really reads it here.. I had hoped that it would have a little more readers since it seems to have quite a few readers on another site, but no matter,

 

A new batch of Summary Executions is now up!

http://mctabby.livejournal.com/401009.html

When Dumbledore was alive, we didn't bother to distinguish the difference.

That summary sure hooked me. I can't wait to read about the murderous habits of Neville's toad.

Wait, what cat?

In my experience, butterflies don't...flop...but I suppose if there's a ravening monster living in Harry's chest, anything can happen.

Noooo! Not the venus fly trap!

 

Beast student? Prettiest girls? Little problem? Does she happen to be an intelligent snotty werebitch?

So the power he-knows-not is an STD? I don't think we stand a chance in hell, if that's the case.

SRSLY?!

So they're throwing a fit cause Arnold has beat them to Mpreg?

WARNING. WARNING. DANGER WILL ROBINSON.

Since I'm wealthy, I can have the little bugger and the author killed for a small price. And since I'm a girl, you shall be tortured to pedigrees and manicures for 72 hours straight.

 

Dancing with what now?! Daisies?!

Whaaaaat?! I thought Herman was already enrolled in Hogwarts - isn't she the psycho brainiac thing? o_o weird

uhhhhh.. Parody or not, the title says it all >_<
excuse me whilst I puke >_<

 

Out of that whole list this one beats out the rest as the worst summery

James Potter-Talented, smart, charming, Slytherin Poster Boy and Prince, Hybrid (a part vampire, part werewolf) cannot fall in love. It's impossible. He is also a twin (his sister Jennica is at Beaubatons) Lilliana Evans- Sweet, kind, caring, smart, studious, Gryffindor's Princess cannot fall for a Slytherin! She is also a twin (her brother Demon goes to Durmstrange) Both fall in love when they first meet and set off a bunch of suprises that will last for a lifetime. But what does the four new Hybrids have to do with this? Everything-including their name: Harry James Michael Potter, Amber Lilliana Azalea Potter, Draco Remus Demon Potter and Hermione Andromeda Pacifica Black (Draco and her are explained later).

 

Rofl at Amber Lilliana Azalea Potter, Draco Remus Demon Potter and Hermione Andromeda Pacifica Black

Where do the fangirls get this shit?

 

Four Mutts and Two Snakes by Dragon in the Mist

Neville is the boy who lived, Harry's parents are still dead. The Dursleys don't want him and send him to an orphanage.Harry is adopted in the US and grows up and joins a band there. When they come to Voldemort ruled Britain he is captured and sold. Slash

This summary really entices me!!!!!!

 

Actually I thought the one that Brooklynight Posted sounded like one hell of a parody... To bad the author was trying to be serious.

 

Thanks nonjon for the link

 

This is fanfiction in general, right? >.> I certainly hope so.

 

Yeah, sure, general...

Welcome to Dark Lord MainCharacterOfSomethingOrOther by the way...

 

Here's a goodie.

Once Upon A Time by PadfootsLittlegirl
Sirius Black is a prince and heir to the throne of the Wizarding world. Remus Lupin is a shy stable boy with a secret. They fall in love and it begins the fairy tale of a life time. Warning: Slash. Eventual Mpreg. Adorableness.
Fiction Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 12042 - Reviews: 137 - Updated: 2-1-07 - Published: 1-13-07

 

This is just so wrong...

 

Hahaha. I think any summary including the words "stable boy" is guaranteed to be a fic to avoid. And my favorite part about that last one was the fact that it was a warning for adorableness.