This story isn't perfect. The first year is an absolute disaster, but half way through, Second Year did something right. It doesn't excuse or wash away the 250k word count lead up, but this fic has wormed itself into being one of my favorites. Regulus is awesome, the basilisk is a fearsome force in its own right, and the story hints are deliciously original (from what I've seen).

The summer interludes KILL this fic, I feel. I've said it before and I'll say it again - this story does its best when at Hogwarts. There's no doubt about that.

I just hope the Death Eater Menace will be like the second story. I.E; regular updates every week or two. TSM seems to have a schedule, he seems to know what the end game of the fic will be, and he seems determined to get there.

Just hope it'll get there is all.

 

There's no excuse. His whole summer has enough words to write a whole other story with a clear beginning, middle and end. Whatever happens at Hogwarts better be good.

I stopped reading after Mr X's reveal.

Does the guy read this thread? Or the subreddit? Has his writing improved since The Death Eater Menace began last year?

 

If the author had any idea how to pace his story, we'd already be in fifth year by this point and this would be among the best stories in the HP universe.
Alas, it's pretty far from it at the moment. The "how did she get the name Nymphadora"-explanation was funny, but at this point, he should focus on the important points, not on every idea that comes into his head. The house elves scene from the new chapter falls into the same category.
I'm writing an own story at the moment that's somewhat loosely based on "take something and make it your own" principe he uses in this story, and even though I'm not even past 200k words, I'm halfway through year 3. Not because I don't have enough ideas on what to change, but because I immediately cut most of the stuff that goes through my head and summarize what I don't absolutely have to describe.
He's basically two options: 1) to go back to his insane updating schedule and gives us 10+k words every week, 2) to learn to summarize events that needn't necessarily be described, and to cut out subplots.
Or, of course, the option he seems to have chosen: Update every two months, give us a shitload of words that include about 3k words that are actually moving the plot foward.

Downgrading my rating to 4/5, because this fic isn't worth 5/5 in any way at this point.

 

I will give it a 3.5/5

While I don't particularly mind that it has a sort of WBWL and abandoned!Harry cliche, I find that there is way too much of extra information. I mean, just look at it, 600k+ words and we have barely started Year III.

The fic as such is alright. As most of the people have said, the first years established all the cliches, the second year started working explaining why things were they way they were. I apologize if my words seem rather generic. It has been a while since I read the fic and there is no way I am going to read the entire work again, at least for now.

I do like the story and its plots and subplots within, but I think I would have appreciated if the amount of AUness was limited. I am sure I skipped reading a few chapters, specially the ones after Year II. I might have skimmed through most of them at most. It felt as if nothing was happening for a very long time.

~CP

 

I really liked the story. The start had several Cliches and I really found the way Pettigrew got away pretty funny.

However the interlude between book 2 and 3 is ruining everything for me. There is too much waffle going on and unnecessary movement.

I especially like how small things are being twisted from canon to the story.

 

The author clearly accepts guest reviews, but from what I gather, everything goes through a moderation queue.

I wrote which was a bit too nice, but also basically expressed the concerns everyone here has, and of course, he promptly ignored it. Never showed up. It also explains why all his reviews are positive or WTF.

It would be nice if he'd reign it in a bit and not blurt out every other idea he has. But that's obviously never going to happen. And it doesn't look like he's gonna let the readers in on what his plan is, other than "everything that's happened so far, *absolutely* had to happen". I don't think I've ever been this frustrated by fanfiction. Oh well, I have no right to be pissed off. It's not like I'm paying for this.

 

I love his take on Nitwit, Blubber, Oddment, and Tweak. So good. There were a couple of moments in this new chapter that I had to smile to myself about how clever the author was being. I do think it has been so long since I read the bulk of this story that I may have to do a re-read.

 

Esta historia es como un rascacielos bien construido, tiene una excelente base y con el tiempo se levanta para tocar los cielos, pero esa es solo mi humilde opinión.

 

Everything else on this forum is in English. What motivated you to think replying in Spanish was desirable?

 

Wirklich unvorstellbar.

On the latest update, I’m very glad we are back at Hogwarts. The reveal was well-handled, even though I’m not the biggest fan of the magical theory behind it. The Muggle Studies session was my favourite part of the chapter, with Lily acting as a competent teacher nicely contrasting the unfavourable perspective(s) we get on James. Peter Pettigrew is, at this point, one of my favourite characters in the whole fic. He just oozes sleaziness, and I find myself continually wondering how he managed to enthrall James to the degree we are currently witnessing. I’m hoping for a satisfying conclusion, and not just the usual "James Is An Idiot" cop-out.

All in all, I find myself looking forward to chapter 100 more so than I was to chapter 99. I guess that’s a good thing?

 

^
He obliviated him in chapter 1 and capitalised on his need for a friend. Peter was the only one left, the one who didn't betray him. Remember how he talked Remus into leaving?

 

I remember that. However, I don’t think there’s anything pertaining specifically to Peter’s relationship with James? So there’s either omething more at play or James is really just fantastically loyal to / particularly trusting of the only one left of his childhood friends. I admit the former is unlikely, but still something I consider possible.

 

Update time.

I don‘t know why I am still surprised, but the amount of worldbuilding that goes into this story is ismply extraordinary. A couple of interesting revelations about magical theory and the ongoing mystery of the Potter Twins‘ scars and the possible appearance of another mysterious player are at the forefront of this chapter, which also features an appearance from everyone‘s favourite lawyer, Peter Pettigrew, Esq. There was a slight mistake regarding the origin story of Professor Babbling, but I think that will be corrected in due course, as it was already pointed out by multiple reviewers. All in all, very little in this chapter feels like wasted space, even though the Monty Python reference was as unnecessary as it was jarring. That was the one part of this chapter I genuinely didn‘t like.

Stray observations: The two new clubs appear to be set on a trajectory towards each other, and I suspect the resolution of this conflict will not be gentle. The way in which the meetings are handled and play off each orher in this update is great, and I am looking forward to what will come off the aftermath of the SPAM meeting, on all fronts. Scrimgeour continues to grow on me wih each appearance he makes in this story. I adored Lockhart as DADA teacher last year, but Scrimgeour is on a very good way himself, provided the set-up we see in this chapter delivers the appropriate pay-off.

All in all, a long, but worthwhile update. Wheels within wheels, people.

 

I've read a few chapters from the latest summer interludes, and the writing looked good. But I couldn't get into the story no matter how many times I've tried, mostly because it went from annoying to ridiculous levels of cliches by the time Harry arrived at Hogwarts in his first year. The AN at the end of the first chapter doesn't help either. I'm currently reading chapter 11 and don't like it all that much. Every time I tried to get through the train chapter, I ended up closing the tab in frustration.

Still, it must be amazing later on, and seeing the comments here on worldbuilding made me want to give another try. I'm determined to catch up this time. (I REALLY hope Harry at least becomes less dislikable.)

EDIT: I'm reading chapter 14 right now. By the end of the Harry & Snape scene after the troll incident, I really expected Harry to figure out Quirrell hosting Voldemort all along. He is such a smart guy.

 

To be honest you can really just skim the first 100k words/entire first year. The guilty pleasure (at best) first year isn't that important apart from the Easter holiday and the climax and the second year easily makes up for it. You may be happy to know that you've got past the worst part of the fic and it gets continually better from now on.

 

@Nevermind That's about the perfect summary for my thoughts on this chapter.

The scene where Professor Babbling discovers the connection between Harry and the rune is, I think, exactly what this story has been missing for a large part since third year started. That sense of mystery, a certain echo of big things looming on the horizon, the grand plan the author has for the story -
- or, in less pompous words, shit actually happening.
Apart from that, this chapter generally felt like the words were put to an ok use - first, we had highly interesting and well thought-out worldbuilding, then we had some scenes about the effects Theo has on the school, then we had the excellently written "Sowilo" scene. If every chapter that comes after this is like that, year 3 (after ~200k words -.- ) can finally get going.

 

I took a look at this latest chapter, was scrolling down, saw a fucking huge paragraph and this gem in that wall of text:

What's the symbology here? I think TSM doesn't know what symbology means. Kek.

 

https://discord.gg/9gSaEyQ <-- link to the discord server for his fic.