1. DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

    Competition topic: Magical New Year!

    Marathon goal? Crank out words!

    Check the marathon thread or competition thread for details.

    Dismiss Notice
  2. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

    New Thread Thursday
    +
    Shit Post Sunday

    READ ME
    Dismiss Notice

WIP The Mind Arts by Wu Gang - T

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by Haze, Jan 26, 2018.

  1. Heather_Sinclair

    Heather_Sinclair Chief Warlock

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2008
    Messages:
    1,532
    Location:
    The Eighth Circle of Hell
    Oh... yea. A morality debate. Please.
     
  2. Agent

    Agent High Inquisitor DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2016
    Messages:
    515
    High Score:
    0
    Are we reading the same story? How did he torture his classmates? If you're referring to his conversation with Neville, I'm pretty sure he was offering himself as the victim and saying that Neville should be the one to cast it.

    As for violating his classmate's minds? This is the same universe where love potions are the norm.
     
  3. quixoticcool

    quixoticcool Third Year

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2016
    Messages:
    81
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    United States of America
    High Score:
    0
    Love potions "being the norm" is only established by one joke from Rowling in Fred and George's shop and as we know she rarely contemplates the implications of her choices. Our examples of love potions actual being used result in Ron being poisoned and in the birth of Lord Voldemort showing I think a more purposeful demonstration of love potions as immoral in the mind of the author and hopefully everyone else. As far as torturing his classmates he specifically casts a torture curse on Theodore Nott taking great effort to hide that he had done so.
     
  4. Wu Gang

    Wu Gang Squib

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2018
    Messages:
    6
    Right, he hid it. So we can agree that, since he is not omniscient, Dumbledore doesn't know about this. And so he won't be able to punish Harry because he doesn't know about any such wrong doing.
     
  5. ScottPress

    ScottPress The Horny Sovereign –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2013
    Messages:
    131
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The Holy Moose Empire
    High Score:
    6900
    @quixoticcool, mate, slow down and look at what you're doing. You're judging the actions of wizards by applying muggle morality. In the wizarding world, everyone carries a reality-altering tool. I doubt that mind-reading is as big a deal as it would be for us in a world where you can literally remove memories from your head for viewing.

    Stop embarrassing yourself.
     
  6. PoshMafia

    PoshMafia First Year

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2018
    Messages:
    21
    Gender:
    Male
    this I think is a might makes right situation. For one, every wizard that wants to be someone is basically in a dick measuring contest. so if u fuck with some no-ones mind; who cares? But if you fuck with let us say some son of some Noble/Pureblood family that has power and connections than there can be hell to pay.

    At least my take on it.

    The only time morality comes into equations like these is when people are sheep without the power to influence people on a large level...

    Cuz in the end Human history has clearly shown, as long as it isn't my people, no one cares.
     
    Last edited: May 1, 2018
  7. Genghiz Khan

    Genghiz Khan Headmaster

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2011
    Messages:
    1,157
    Location:
    Darujistan
    Wut? Noble family? Okay...

    @quixoticcool Your views on things like "Non-fatal Curses" frankly baffle me. It's like arguing that training Pokemon for battling is immoral in the Pokemon world. After all, 10 year olds teach Pokemon to perform acts of savage destruction there, do they not? What's wrong with Harry learning curses in this world? All curses are, to a large extent, painful. You could argue that learning any kind of curse is learning cruelty in the HPverse. Should learning curses become an "ohmigawd WTF are you doing?" thing in the HPVerse? I, frankly, think of it as nothing worse than, say, learning sword fighting in the normal world. Yes, you become skilled with cutting people up. But unless you start drawing the sword in the middle of a bunch of people and cutting them down like a fucking Mongol Horde raping Merv/Baghdad or something, you're just a very dangerous man with no weird issues. Harry's learned those curses, he's (very) rarely been shown to use them on actual humans or even animals. To give an analogy, I might know the intimacies of building an Iron Maiden when I was thirteen, but that doesn't mean I stuck someone inside it and listened to them squeal.
     
  8. quixoticcool

    quixoticcool Third Year

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2016
    Messages:
    81
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    United States of America
    High Score:
    0
    The fact that "Non-fatal Curses" is explicitly in the restricted section is more than enough indication that it is well beyond the sort of spells that would be normal to learn especially since Harry is only eleven when he steals it from the restricted section.
     
  9. PoshMafia

    PoshMafia First Year

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2018
    Messages:
    21
    Gender:
    Male
    pure blood mb mb
     
  10. Wu Gang

    Wu Gang Squib

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2018
    Messages:
    6
  11. Genghiz Khan

    Genghiz Khan Headmaster

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2011
    Messages:
    1,157
    Location:
    Darujistan
    It's in the restricted section of a school. Full of kids. Kids have no sense of boundaries. You tell a kid something's restricted he'll try to do it just because he wants to prove he's better than your restrictions. Educators of Dumbledore's age would probably know that.

    Dude, seriously, get off your high horse. You're actually arguing that knowledge of something in of itself is bad. Look at what you're saying.
     
  12. quixoticcool

    quixoticcool Third Year

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2016
    Messages:
    81
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    United States of America
    High Score:
    0
    This is the same restricted section that carried the information that lead to Lord Voldemort learning about Horcruxes. Hogwarts is both a school for kids and a massive repository of, in many cases illegal, magic even in canon. I'm not arguing that knowledge of something is, in itself, bad that's completely taking what I said out of context. I'm arguing that restricted knowledge on tools exclusively for inflicting pain and injury above and beyond the norm is not the kind of thing you allow eleven year olds to learn.
     
  13. Agent

    Agent High Inquisitor DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2016
    Messages:
    515
    High Score:
    0
    Go into any secondary school library and I'll guarantee you that they'll probably have a book on weapons used throughout history. Should these be banned as well?
     
  14. vlad

    vlad Banned ~ Prestige ~

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2007
    Messages:
    678
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Georgia, SSR
    High Score:
    2000
    This whole conversation is now gay and most likely leading to massive amount of time spent rewriting and not moving on with one of the few stories I am actually following. So from a vlad-centric view of the universe (the correct one) this is a significant turn for the worse.

    Harry obviously feels remorse and emotions, even if they don't always express themselves in normal ways. Yes, the conversation with Neville is odd, but the intent is very clearly to help Neville. Whether it will or not - whether he's going about a good intention in a really fucked up way - remains to be seen. But the intent is very clearly to help someone he cares about. Same with the braindead girl - yeah, for this Harry some of his feeling after seeing Ginny may be academic detachment (I did something wrong I need to be better for better's sake) but he's also clearly feeling empathy with the girl he inadvertently sterilized into a vegetable. That's not even getting into the reveals about his conflicting feelings about Daphne, the fact he understands where Hermione is coming from re: her feelings towards him, and his general balancing of opinion between Dumbledore and Grindelwald.

    And seriously, it's fanfiction. Yeah, the quotes at the end are a bit pompous, but they are every single time a fanfic has such things, which is a lot. Whoopdee doo ok w/e if you like you like if you don't you don't how the fuck is this even a topic anyone cares about I don't know.

    tl;dr everyone quit being gay. Wu, please write moar thank u yur welcome.
     
  15. ZombieHunter

    ZombieHunter DA Member

    Joined:
    Jul 18, 2009
    Messages:
    157
    I quite like the quotes at the end and beginning of each chapter, especially the Dan Carlin one. The Destroyer of Worlds?
     
  16. Wu Gang

    Wu Gang Squib

    Joined:
    Mar 29, 2018
    Messages:
    6
    It was from the series on the Mongolians, which is a personal favorite and I thought it fit Grindelwald well.

    Dan Carlin’s history show has been very inspirational for me. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that Voldemort’s powers were inspired by his podcast about fire bombings in World War II, ‘Logical Insanity’.
     
  17. Hawkin

    Hawkin Chief Warlock

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2011
    Messages:
    1,454
    Location:
    QC, Canada
    The story is interesting and well written enough that whatever error there was didn't detract me from it at all. I like the pace, and how each scene has a purpose (much more prevalent in the latest chapters). It is heavily AU, much more so after Year 1 and while I find it fascinating, it might not be to everyone's taste. One of the strongest points is the characterization of Dumbledore; he is human and well-portrayed throughout the whole story.

    I think I would rate this 5/5. It is one of the strongest fanfiction I've read in recent years.
     
  18. Snupps

    Snupps Fourth Year DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    May 3, 2016
    Messages:
    113
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    The country the Queen lives in
    High Score:
    0
    Cool fic, I enjoyed it. I love the detail the author put into the magic, making it actually make sense in a way I can agree with. It was also presented in a way that felt interesting, which is what a lot of fics lack when authors go into describing how magic works in their AU.

    Pacing was kind of fast, and some situations seemed a bit too convenient (like Harry suddenly realising exactly what he needs to do to dick Tom's diary and save the day).

    Romace-side the fic is appropriate and doesn't go into 11 year olds having weird sexual attractiveness to each other.

    Overall, I found it pretty good, I'll keep reading when the author updates.

    4/5
     
  19. megameme1

    megameme1 Muggle

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2017
    Messages:
    2
    High Score:
    0
    I like it. The tension in the current arc is particularly strong and keeps me wanting to read more.

    I dislike Daphne Greengrass, but the way the author pulls her off makes her at least a little tolerable, but sometimes it feels like some of the tension with her is a bit forced. But, I'll admit that at least it didn't go into the deep end of the ice queen trope, which is respectable.

    Harry and Dumbledore's relationship is something I really enjoy, and it's one of the few times I've seen such an involved mentorship between the two turn out well.

    Grammar and technical writing are also pretty solid, too.

    Overall, 4.5/5, round to a 4.
     
  20. Joe's Nemesis

    Joe's Nemesis High Score: 2,058 ~ Prestige ~

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2012
    Messages:
    1,192
    High Score:
    2,058
    I just finished year one. I'm going to continue it because I don't have much else to read, but there's some common, annoying cliches being kicked around. As Taure said, emotionally weak, magically strong is one of them. I don't mind an emotionally struggling Harry as that fits reality for a situation like his. However, when he's able to lecture older students on fixing their potions, it's getting carried away. Likewise, Apparating at will is pretty unbelievable. The key here is at will. In his first year, the author is painting him anywhere from a third to seventh year based on the branch of magic. It's pretty silly, to be honest.

    There's a few typos and errors, but not enough to really worry about.

    Of course, then there's the Ron-Bashing. It's mild, but it's there, and an instant turn off for me. The Tracey Davis = flibbertigibbet trope is one I'm getting tired of quickly. It was cute in the first story I saw it in. After that, not so much.

    The two biggest problems I have with this fic is characterization and canon rehash. All the characters just feel flat. Hermione's a jealous know-it-all but still likable (because, Emma Watson, probably). Ron's a jealous lazy conclusion-jumping Gryffindor. As noted before, Tracey Davis is a flibbertigibbet. Daphne has the most depth of all except for Harry, and all we know of her so far is she's slightly jealous and likes Harry. While the author doesn't go deep into canon rehash, there's enough of it there to be boring. I feel like it's re-reading the books from a different perspective. Sure, some stuff has been changed up, but not enough to really make this a unique story and library-worthy.

    So, I'll rate it 3/5.


    And for some reason, I am not able to rate it now.
     
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2018
Loading...
Similar Threads
  1. mknote
    Replies:
    144
    Views:
    68,143