Holy fuck. Anyone else see this trailer? Looks incredible!

 

Legit.

 

The style looks neat, but I hate everything about the rest of it. Miles Morales is shit, Spider-Gwen is stupid, and they made Peter a bum because, just like every other series these days, they have to shit on the past to make their new trash seem better.

 

Any possible critiques or grievances you could have levied are immediately rendered moot by you saying Spider-Gwen is stupid.

Sir, I will respond in kind.

Your face is stupid.

 

The whole Spider-Gwen idea is just trying to have your cake and eat it too. Gwen Stacy should stay dead and buried, including clones and alternate universes.

 

This just in, Red Aviary hates Freedom, probably a terrorist.

 

PeterSpider!Gwen is OTP. @Red Aviary may all your romantic ships burn in fire and destruction.

 

That looks dope as fuck.

 

DC Cinematic Universe decision makers show once more why they suck in comparison to Marvel.

Arguably the worst part of an already horrible movie (Suicide Squad), Jared Leto is getting his very own Joker film. (shudder)

 

Spider-Man trailer looks dope.

The Spider-Verse arc in the comics really fell flat, considering all the hype surrounding it. It's been a while since I read it, and it wasn't very memorable. Never felt any kind of pull to re-read that one. With that in mind, I think that movie is going in the right direction.

The guy they have playing Peter Parker, Jake Johnson, played Nick Miller in the show New Girl and judging from the trailer, his Peter Parker is basically Nick in a Spider-Man costume. I don't mind that they're shitting on good ol' Pete. After reading SpOck (Otto Octavius in Pete's body...) and Peter trying to be Tony Stark, I think I can take anything. While I'm at it, one of my favourite iterations of Peter was teacher!Peter in JMS' run some fifteen years ago. That's also where that storyline with the totem powers and Morlun stemmed from, which I don't recall being as terrible a take on things as some seem to suggest.

At any rate, I'm looking forward to the film. Miles had the potential to be a cool character, but Bendis was too busy sucking his own dick for however many issues of Ultimate Spider-Man (sorry, Ultimate Comics: Spider-Man) and it never happened. So I'm curious to see this film's take on Miles.

 

I dunno, there's only so much you can do with a character that someone decided should have 'damaged' tattooed on their forehead.

 

Saw the new dinosaur movie. Liked it better than the 2015 one and the chief reason is easy to deduce.

Spoiler

The kids from JW aren't in this one. There's still a kid, but she's not focused on, has comparatively little screen time and isn't nearly as fucking annoying. Actually, she's okay--beyond the usual complaint of having a kid in the movie at all. There should be an effort with any movie to not have child kids in them unless it's The Blind Side or Love Actually or something in that vein.

A few complaints off the top of my head: finale takes place at night. At least it wasn't raining ffs. Seriously, you're making a movie about goddamn dinosaurs. Don't you want to show your-admittedly great-CGI?

Another gruff cunt military/mercenary fuck who is only there to be a cunt the moment the script requires the main heroes to be put in a situation where they have to escape from a dinosaur on foot.

Main plot summary: JW closed after the Indominus Rex fiasco. Isla Nublar is about to assplode because volcano and govt is washing their hands of this business, so Ben Lockewood--John Hammond's old partner--gets mercs to save some dinos from the kaboom. Claire is hired because she knows the park and Owen is brought on because they want to save Blue in particular.

I thought the plot was gonna be a race against the volcano and Blue would have to save Owen from being shot by the Generic Mercenary by eating his face and at the movie would close with disaster porn CGI of the volcano. So I was somewhat surprised to see the island assplode halfway through.

Lockewood wants to bring the lizards to an uninhabited island so they can live in peace, but his... business manager? Guy who runs his estate, or whatever, wants to sell the lizards at an auction to raise money for Create Genetically Engineered Raptor Hybrids For The Military 2.0 Project. He hired Henry Wu to make a hybrid of a raptorof the kind Owen trained in the last movie and Indominus Rex--basically an Indominus Rex that can be trained like Blue. But of course they abuse the fuck out of the prototype and when havoc inevitably breaks out at the auction, humans team up with Blue to take it down.

Psst--they win. Ikr, total surprise!

Some things I liked: Blue is fucking awesome, move over T-Rex; I like Owen; I liked the background of Owen and Blue's bonding when he trained the raptors, however little there was; the dino villain was pretty cool; the scene where Own and Claire have to get blood from T-Rex to transfuse into Blue; a rather striking shot of a Dino being consumed by volcano assplosion as the ship leaves the island; at least the kid was used to support Lockewood's motivation for wanting to save the dinos when there's tech to simply make more clones.

It's because the kid--his granddaughter--is revealed to not actually be the granddaughter but a clone of his late daughter. She was a clone and yet very much not disposable. It was even foreshadowed, they didn't just make an asspull of it.

Dislikes: Generic Cunt Mercenary is a an extremely tired trope in Jurassic movies, stop it; villains being stupid; fucking kid because the movie must appeal to them, as if dinosaurs aren't enough; a Dino fucking smiling as it prepared to kill Generic Mercenary, wtf.

Movie ends with dinos being released from auction cages -- they would have died otherwise because the facility was leaking poisonous gas in the aftermath of the finale destruction. Jeff Goldbloom tells a US Senate committee that they're gonna have to learn to live alongside lizards now. There's a shot of Blue overlooking a city. A shot of T-Rex breaking into a zoo to roar at a lion--the lion roars back. And also, the fuckhuge water lizard that ate Indominus Rex in the last movie was also released from confinement and there's a shot of it inside a wave behind surfers. I kind of blinked and missed it, but I think it ate one of the surfers lol.

All in all, I didn't hate it, also because I went into it resigned to a stupid popcorn flick.

It's alright. 7/10

 

The Incredibles 2 was an extremely fun movie. It wasn’t earth shattering. It didn’t have an epic plot. It didn’t have any major tear jerker moments.

But it was just solid fun. Good humor. Great action. They actually managed to havd great humor without resorting to toilet jokes.

It’s a great family movie.

I died laughing at the Jak Jak vs. Raccoon battle as did most of the audience.


Minor nitpicks: Showing the voice actors of Elastigirl and Mr. Incredibleat the beginning kinda broke the immersion. They are both older now and it made it difficult not to imagine them when Bob and Helen were talking.

-Pixar short before the movie was WTF to the max.

 

The whole audience with me had no clue what the heck was happening with the short movie at the beginning. It actually wasn't that bad though.

Jack Jack was a huge hit with the audience. Every scene he had seemed to get a great reaction from the audience.

 

Yeah, I'm looking forward to the incredibles 2. It sounds positive, would you say that incredibles 1 had tear jerkers, or moments of greatness, that this one didn't or that they were about the same? Cus I loved the first one.

So that I can assess the relative difference for you, between the first and the sequel and figure out how the hype I'm bringing is going to affect what I see.

 

I think the incredibles 1 had a stronger story and dealt with some more mature topics. The "feel good" moments were also a bit stronger in the first one. Synodrome was also a stronger villain than Screenslaver.

In contrast, I'd argue the second one was more humorous (but not in an obnoxious way) and honestly just felt like more fun.

 

Hotel Artemis was fucking terrible. 90% of the film was setup for almost zero payoff

 

And Solo fucks the rest of the SW-verse yet again.

Kenobi and Fett are put on hold (see: cancelled) No more Anthology movies until then think they've got their shit together... if ever. Reasons: Solo box office.

Ugh.