Here's a thought: Nagini is a Magical type of snake, and could live anywhere it wants or be both venomous and constricting. You don't need a cursed Asian woman from the 20s/30s to explain Nagini.

 

I just found this post and yeah it's low-brow humor but fuck if it didn't earn a few laughs by the time I was done with it

 

Then don’t be that fucking guy.

 

Leaked footage of a possible upcoming HP game. Here's an article with some more details

 

Dude, you are a bit late. There were two threads already but they have since been merged here.

 

Hate to be that guy, but DLP rules say you must use proper English.

 

Remember, if you bite it, it's poisonous, but if it bites you, it's venomous.

 

Well obviously the answer is max out the Use Magic Device skill and fake being a wizard.

 

Simpler, mathematical explanation-
Catching the Snitch is 15 times less likely than scoring a goal. Chasing the Snitch therefore has the same expected value as going for a goal. Yes, from time to time the Snitch is caught immediately and from time to time it takes days or weeks, but that is to be expected, there's an element of chance that's necessarily involved with an object that's enchanted to fly around randomly. It flies inside Harry's mouth for God's sake. I get the idea that when it was written, the World Cup finale chapter was intended to have this world-class Seeker fail to catch the Snitch before the Irish could vastly outscore Team Bulgaria, proving that it happens to the best of Seekers sometimes. Who knows, it may be harder to catch in the professional sphere, since we never saw a game go on like that at Hogwarts. I doubt anyone planning the athletic department for a school would want a game going on for weeks.

 

Quidditch is dumb. But I feel that way about most sports.

 

Someone revamped the rules a bit, made it more competitive and less reliant on a single player to win the match or the whole team having to outdo a single player, but for the life of me I can't remember where I read it.

 

Was it Rogue's Bet by Hufflepunk?

 

And in sports today...

Chairman Hassan Mostafa wrapped up the third day of pre-season hearings by the International Association of Quidditch for consideration of rule changes in the Wizarding World's most popular sport.

Much of the controversy in this year's hearings came from the office of the British Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, or rather from the spokeswitch of that Department, Hermione Weasley. Mrs. Weasley's exhaustive rule set and arithmantic proof of 'enhanced entertainment value' for her proposed Millenium Quidditch was reported to count at 1043 feet of scroll.

Thankfully, in anticipation of the proposal's review, Mrs. Weasley has provided us a highlight of the most significant rule changes:

• The three goal hoops are to vary in size and point value. The center hoop is to be made half as large, to be worth 20 points. The left hoop would be enlarged to twice size but worth only 5 points and the right hoop is left at standard size and point value.
  
  
• The snitch is to be worth 42 points, making a tie game impossible. It isn't released onto the pitch until ten minutes after quaffle play has commenced. A Protean charm on the snitch closes the hoops of both teams the moment the snitch considers itself caught.
  
  
• Brooms are to be shared- that is, everyone brings a broom for the pile, but the team captains pick from those brooms available to equip their players; by doing so, there would be little chance of disparity in the performance of the equipment. Choosing starts with a coin toss, and the captains will be challenged to stay familiar with the capabilities of all official brooms.
  

Chairman Mostafa today declared that the proposal will require serious consideration, but that Mrs. Weasley's lack of brevity has consigned any decision on its merits to be delayed until next year's pre-season hearing.

Mr. Ragmar Dorkins' proposal to change the value of the snitch to 250 points has once again been heard and denied. Mr. Dorkins, as many readers know, is the Manager for the Chudley Cannons. His analysis that such a change would result in the Cannons being more competitive was met with some sympathy. He was given a plate of cannoli.

 

Nah from what I remember it was just a short proposal on rule changes for Quidditch. Might have been here, but I can't recall.