I could have lived out the remainder of my days without ever having that image stuck in my head.

Also, new pet peeve: Footnotes at the end of a chapter (or should they be called endnotes, as it’s technically only one page?) explaining various things about the fanfiction that, by and large, need no explanation. Author’s notes, if kept brief and to the point, are fine, but I don’t need to read a three-page essay explaining how this particular scene from Firefly inspired that scene in your Mass Effect fanfic.

 

Something about the overly subservient Harry that crops up in these Harmony fics is so off-putting. I guess you could chalk it up as a reaction to all the lame harem stuff that has every woman in Hogwarts assume the submissive role, but that doesn't mean it's good.

It's why I didn't like Blindness even though it's a popular fic in the fandom. Every time he called her "his Viola" I wanted to gag. That type of weird, lovey-dovey praise just sounds off, especially coming from the mouth of a teenager.

All these """"romantic"""", saccharine BS aren't the types of relationships I want to read. Sorry Starfox, sorry 90% of Harmony fics. Not my thing.

Make them a couple that's actually fun to read about instead of the super most perfect partners ever. Give them chemistry rather than cutesy lines.

 

Here's an incredibly minor one, but still very prevalent in many stories: it's mokeskin, not moleskin

 

Maybe Harry is buying a shit ton of hipster notebooks.

 

The one thing I hate most is people bashing Dumbledore. And the worst thing about this is, I would say that Dumbledore is bashed in over 50% of all HP fanfiction.

Dumbledore is by far my favorite character in the series. He's the most magical person in a story about magic. Personally, I much prefer the route where Dumbledore mentors Harry. Good authors can make their interactions golden and it allows Harry to realistically gain some strength in the fights while still keeping him at a realistic level (most fanfics of this style maintain that Dumbledore is more powerful than him.

People have Dumbledore acting as a transparent antagonist which even if he did not support Harry (which he does) would never happen. And all the people thinking that Dumbledore has sinned by keeping secrets. What kind of general lets every single member of their army know all the classified information.

Dumbledore bashing is ridiculous. Dumbledore is the best character in Harry Potter. End of story.
--- Post automerged ---
While I'm at it, here's another pet peeve. Ginny suddenly being powerful or "feisty" in every story where she has some importance. I'm not saying that Harry can't date Ginny. She's a sweet girl who obviously cares about him and her entire family has supported him. He's also saved her life. There's a lot of potential there.

You don't need to make Ginny this really powerful witch that doesn't take a single word against her. Ginny hexed one kid on the train to Hogwarts. That doesn't mean much.

 

Bashing Dumbledore also reminds me of the weird names, they give him.
Famous Examples include Dumbles, Dumbledork, Dumb-Bell-Dork etc.

Also Perfect/Super Dumb Hermione is another pet peeve. I don't get why people do that, she was never shown as perfect nor as extremely dumb. Many fanfcs either make her the angel who cones to take away Harry's pain or the dumb ugly girl with delusions of her own intelligence. Most of the Robst fics are of Perfect Hermione, and an example of Dumb girl would amount to all of Megamatt09's fics.
Some exceptions: WYLB by Newcomb, Old blood by Oil On Canvas etc.

 

Dumbbelldore is ripped.

 

Robst is in a league of his own when it comes to writing shitty Fanfiction.

 

Someone repost that thing about Hogwarts school of Swolecraft and Liftery.

 

Ask and you shall receive.

--------

"I am a what?"
"Yer a lifter, Harry!" Hagrid says, flexing his mighty biceps--and causing much awe.
_____

"Deadlift! Whey! Steroids! Posing!"
_____

"You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of macro-nutrition and protein shake-making. As there is little foolish bench-pressing here, many of you will hardly believe this is lifting. I don't expect you will understand the beauty of the complex inbuild sieve-shaker, with its additional free one-gallon water bottle. Nor he worth of Vitamin supplements, and Arginine creeping through human veins, bewitching your aesthetic body, ensnaring the senses.... I can teach you how to bottle what you need for fame, to brew whey, and even put a stopper in muscle decay--if you aren't a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach."
_____

"[...] He had to clap his hands to his mouth to stop himself from grunting in surprise. He whirled around. His heart was pounding far more furiously than when he put more weight on the long barbell for deadlifting on Deadlift Fridays---for he had seen not only himself buff like Arnold Schwarzenegger, but a whole crowd of people standing behind him, in awe of his lats and trapezius! But the room was empty. Breathing very fast, he turned slowly back to the mirror. There he was, buff as Adonis after a year on steroids, reflected in it, tanned and glorious juicy-looking. And there, reflected behind him, were at least ten others of smaller statures. Harry looked over his swole shoulder--but still, no one was there. Or were they all invisible too? Was he in fact in a room full of invisible bodybuilders and this mirror's trick was that it reflected them, invisible or not?"
_____

[...] "So, back again, Harry?" Harry felt as though his rectus abdominis had cramped after a burnout session on the abdominal core machine. He looked behind him and, sitting on one of the desks by the wall, was none other than one flexing Albus Dumbledore, muscular arms oiled and glinting in the moonlight. Harry must have walked straight past the magnificent old lifter, so desperate to get to the mirror he hadn't noticed him.

"-- I didn't see you, sir."

"Strange how nearsighted being buff can make you," said Dumbledore, flexing his triceps to show off his recent gains, and Harry was relieved to see that he was smiling.

"So," said Dumbledore, slipping his glorious and through lunges steeled glutes off the desk to sit on the floor with Harry, "you, like hundreds before you, have discovered the delights of the Mirror of the Elows."

"I didn't know it was called that, Sir."

"But I expect you've realized by now what it does?"

"It - well - it shows me being swole --."

 

It does not do to dwell on biceps and skip leg day.

 

No creativity when it comes to duels or any kind of offensive spells. Too many authors just relying on unforgivables and bombardas. Hell even if they can think of some interesting combat spells, many can't write battles or duels with any sense of cohesion.

 

So what you're saying that we need more of George and Fred flinging around bowel loosening hexes and slipping people some skivving snackboxes that make the eater suffer a triple? Because that could be an amusing short piece on Umbridge.

 

"If there's failure, Harry," said Dumbledore, his steely pectorals tensed and seemingly made of marble as he flexed, "I give you permission to drop the bar during the bench press using any strategy that might occur to you. However, I don't think you'll need to worry about lifting it tonight."

"Why not, sir?"

"Because you're being spotted by me."

 

If I have to read one more goddamn Chuunin Exams final stage rehash I think I'm gonna gouge my eyes out. Especially when it's ten fucking chapters.

 

Look, it may not add any new plot, or character development, but surely Naruto showing off his new flashy white trenchcoat in order to look cooler while beating Kiba and Neji is worth a hundred thousand words or so?

 

Same. Also, the obligatory five chapters recounting the fucking Land of Waves Arc.

 

Oh my god make that fifteen chapters with the conclusion that the author doesn't like writing fight scenes. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.