1. DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

    Competition topic: Magical New Year!

    Marathon goal? Crank out words!

    Check the marathon thread or competition thread for details.

    Dismiss Notice
  2. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

    New Thread Thursday
    +
    Shit Post Sunday

    READ ME
    Dismiss Notice

"A Song of Ice and Fire" stories

Discussion in 'Story Search' started by purple, Jul 9, 2012.

  1. Spanks

    Spanks Chief Warlock

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2007
    Messages:
    1,531
    Location:
    New Jersey
    My main issue with it is that I don’t see how Jaime losing his hand like in canon is useful. In canon it was the event that reshaped him into a character we all grew to enjoy reading. In Life and Honor that event is by Jaime joining the Night’s Watch. He’s become a better man by doing it. Losing his hand shouldn’t have th same consequences on his character development as it did in canon because Jaime in this fic is already that man.
     
  2. Nazgoose

    Nazgoose The Honky-tonk ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter DLP Gold Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2011
    Messages:
    199
    High Score:
    2020
    I think the author just didn't want him to manage a clean getaway from this ranging, set the stakes somehow. I don't mind it too much, but I think it suffers from being compared with canon. Here the best I can see is a confidence hit and him picking himself up to learn with his left. It's not a bad arc, but it pales in comparison to canon, which is what makes it seem really bad.
     
  3. Johnnyseattle

    Johnnyseattle Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2011
    Messages:
    1,538
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Cascadia
    Exactly.

    There are so, SO many ways to hamper him otherwise if you want to give him some sort of handicap - The only thing I can really see happening now if they want to keep this up is for him to become Lord Commander, and basically live Jon Snow's arc a decade earlier - change the watch for the better as Tormund suggested, the hardliners kill him for it, the red woman (or the children of the forest he befriended this chapter) shows up, battle res, wash/rinse/repeat. I still quite like this story, and it's not like I'm going to stop reading it, but it's just disappointing.
     
  4. Gurukid

    Gurukid Third Year

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2007
    Messages:
    106
    Location:
    in The Zone
    Anyone still reading Purple Days? The Joffrey timeloop.

    I know the whole Yi-Ti arc turned a lot of people off, but I think it’s worth it to either slog through it, skim it, or just skip it entirely - as long as you keep reading past it.

    I highly recommend this if you gave up on it early. The writing has improved by leaps and bounds since the no-longer-canon prologue, and I’m eagerly anticipating every update.

    It’s in the final loop now, and you can feel an epic confrontation coming. The author has said he plans to finish this before the end of April, and ideally before the last season of the show comes out.
     
  5. Donimo

    Donimo Auror

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2015
    Messages:
    657
    I manged to slog through the Yi Ti part, I was put off by the centuries old man in love and grooming a 12 year old.
     
  6. Lamora

    Lamora Definitely Not Batman ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2009
    Messages:
    118
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York
    High Score:
    1072
    I mean regarding that, it might not be so disappointing:

    There's actually a fairly popular fan theory for Jaime Lannister as Azor Ahai, which involves the translation of 'Light Bringer', aeksio onos in Valyrian, being very close to the translation for 'Golden Hand', aeksion onos. Given the dreams Jaime has been having, I would wager the author might be going along those lines.


    So maybe just following the fan theory, not being too cowardly to jump away from canon.
     
  7. Heather_Sinclair

    Heather_Sinclair Chief Warlock

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2008
    Messages:
    1,532
    Location:
    The Eighth Circle of Hell
    It still has its ups and downs in content, quality-wise. There are some really stellar chapters that are some of the best I've read in ASoIaF fics. On the other hand it still has some, "Why does this chapter exist, because he did nearly this exact same thing in an earlier one and it does nothing to advance the plot," moments, much like the majority of the Yi Ti arc.

    Still, I look forward to reading those gems that stand out like the Joffery-Robert bonding one, or latest one with Sansa and family.

    Usually, when I say I'm going to skip the arc and come back later, like I did after the second chapter of Yi Ti, I never return to the fic. In this instance, I'm glad I did come back directly after.
     
  8. Viewtiful

    Viewtiful Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2010
    Messages:
    347
    When did Jaime meet any Children of the Forest in the latest chapter?

    Agree with everyone saying the latest development is disappointing. I think the author has maybe earned the benefit of the doubt, because so far it's been by far one of the best ASoIaF fanfics (not exactly a high bar, really) but I'm definitely worried it's going to be a retread of Jaime's canon arc which just misses the point
     
  9. Hawkin

    Hawkin Chief Warlock

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2011
    Messages:
    1,454
    Location:
    QC, Canada
    I stumbled upon a fic recently and was pleasantly surprised.

    Basic premise is simple: Jon shows interest in going to the Wall, and Ned sends him to Essos instead to make a life for himself. Chapters are huge, using multiple point of view from a couple of important characters (Jon, Daenerys, Arya, Sansa, etc.) and well written. The story is beta by Serpentguy, the author of Dragon of Ice and Fire.

    What I like the most about the story so far, has been the effort that's been put in creating the cultures of Essos. The first arc of the story is all about the Dothraki and how Khal Drogo is the Khal of Khals and is reshaping the whole dothraki way of life...and the challenges he faces. There's nice touch of culture for the Lazhareen, Braavos, and the cities of Lys, Myr and Tyrosh as well. All in all, it's very well woven into the narrative and makes you feel like Essos is rich in culture and tradition.

    I've not read the whole story yet, only recently started the 2nd arc, but from what I've read so far I'd rate it at 5/5 for this fandom.
     
  10. pbluekan

    pbluekan Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2014
    Messages:
    1,462
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Dancing in the Mindfield
    So that fic has been posted multiple times and always keeps getting shot down. It apparently draws a lot from Marco Polo (the show) and a few other places.

    Personally? I’ve always liked it. The writing is technically sound (mostly), the prose is consistent, the characters are distinct and well developed, and the world building is wonderful.

    A 5/5 from me.
     
  11. Anarchy

    Anarchy Half-Blood Prince DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2009
    Messages:
    3,688
    Location:
    NJ
    That story has been posted a few times, and fuck, it's just so boring. I've tried it twice, and the farthest I've gotten is to the point of Jon being captured and turned into a gladiator. I just didn't find it very compelling. The carrot just keeps getting dangled, but it just feels like any resolution keeps getting pulled out from underneath, an there comes a point where I just get tired of it all. Hell, the second time I read it, I made it like 10 chapters before I even realized that I had read it before. There's new characters and stuff, but the descriptions don't quite line up with the actual storytelling going on, and it apparently becomes forgettable to me. I mean, how many times can you describe the golden horde as having ghiscari philosophers as one of its components before you realize that there's not actually that much depth to that statement.
     
  12. Paradise

    Paradise Paraplegic Dice DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2015
    Messages:
    755
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Pine Tree State
    Man that fic is hot garbage, alright for one, Jon Snow, he who would father no bastards, wouldn't fuck another mans wife, a man who is he good friends with, behind his back for months. Dude would never get into that situation ever.

    And the first chapter, is Jon basically swearing loyalty to a new king, on the account of his cock. Canon Jon at this time is offered to run away with Ygritte, the women of his dreams who is ready and willing to go with him, but he still sticks to his vows.

    Here, Jon is offered not even the slightest chance of Poontang, but he fucking signs on and forsakes his loyalty to Robert like its nothing. Fuck that.

    The entire fic is a rip from Marco Polo too, from the steel plate in the head to, the god damn star eyes or whatever the blind dudes name is

    Oh and Jon and Dany are constantly banging, and literally no one in the camp notices somehow. Like your kings wife, is getting fucked all the time, and no one notices, no hears a thing, or sees them slip away together.

    I haven't read this fic in months mind, but this always gets me fucking steamed.

    I'll read more later and refresh my memory but for now that stands,

    Fucking 1/5, 0/5 if possible, due to shit characterization, blatant plagiarism.
     
  13. Longsword

    Longsword Banned

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2015
    Messages:
    558
    Drogo does not come across as Jon's "friend" at all. Then there is also the whole he-screws-Daenerys-everynight thing.
    Jon never had an oath of loyalty to Robert. I also found his strong reaction in the first few chapters odd, but it is nothing like him betraying the NW.
    The most jarring part was Robert's treatment of Ned.

    Jon banging Daenerys all the time and his lack of loyalty to Robert are not even problems for a fic so long. Its meandering plot was, especially in the middle of the story where characters' POV are added that do not hold my interest.
    It has improved in the last couple of chapters. Jon and Daenerys had their storylines converge.
    1/5 seems far too low. It is written well and the dialogues are not stilted which is a major plus over 90% of ASoIaF works.

    Is the issue of plagiarism related to the author ripping of plot ideas off of a few TV series, like Marco Polo and Spartacus ?
     
  14. Donimo

    Donimo Auror

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2015
    Messages:
    657
    This doesn't seem very good. I've never read the source material this is plagiarizing so I can't comment on that. Everything else sucks though. Characterization, dialog, pacing. Nothing seems to happen. Maybe I'll try jumping ahead a hundred thousand words to see if a story develops.
     
  15. Anarchy

    Anarchy Half-Blood Prince DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2009
    Messages:
    3,688
    Location:
    NJ
    Yeah, I remember that (and I took notes when I was reading it about 4 months ago). Maybe not the most jarring, but damn, was it stupid. It's like the author forgot that his story is halfway AU. Jorah is switched back and forth from being a murder to being a slaver, things like that. It's like the author forgot what he's actually told in the story. Like, apparently Ned is still working on the whole Jon Aryn murder thing, but the first we actually read about that is at that meeting where he gives up the hand badge. And then there's the Jon Snow thing. Jon Snow is literally exiled from the North, in all but name. It was either be sent across the narrow sea, or take the Black. That's pretty much exile. And, he's a bastard. Nothing Jon does should reflect upon Ned at all. But it's like the author couldn't think of any other way to move the plot along at all, and in the midst of all this new world building he's doing, he literally reverts back to the stages of canon. Like, he has the King ask Ned to kill his own son. Like, with how taboo kinslaying is, that's beyond stupid. And of course, this is all coming off a well-written scene with Arya chasing cats that still (of course) leads to her overhearing the conversation in the basement. And of course Robert still dies off screen to the boarhunt.

    I just don't get it.
     
  16. CrackedMind

    CrackedMind Chief Warlock

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2011
    Messages:
    1,418
    Gender:
    Male
    I mean all of the stuff that happens in Kings Landing makes sense to me other than Robert’s whole “lets kill Jon” thing. It’s not like Jon going to Essos had to have a lot of butterfly effects on Westeros, initially. Ned could’ve died the way he did in canon honestly. I also have no clue why Sansa would want to go to Essos to be with Jon.

    Arya makes total sense. Sansa not so much. Otherwise I mostly like it, other than some inconsistencies. At 400k words being technically sound and a good time waster can be good enough.

    3/5 from me
     
  17. pbluekan

    pbluekan Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2014
    Messages:
    1,462
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Dancing in the Mindfield
    I mean... he is still her brother. She was unkind to him during their childhood, but you’ve got to remember how utterly alone she was in King’s Landing. It’s central to her entire character. What was offered was a chance to leave King’s Landing.
     
  18. Halt

    Halt 1/3 of the Note Bros. Moderator

    Joined:
    May 27, 2010
    Messages:
    1,940
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Philippines
    Anyone else readingDreadful and Wounds?

    Dreadful is a Ramsay Bolton SI where the SI doesn't kill Domeric and proceeds to become his right hand man. It's a bit slice of life for the most part, dealing more with the growing relationship between the SI and Domeric as brothers, with the more recent chapters finally going into canon plot. No tech uplift other than SI creating musical instruments and forming a band (which, while meh, is not terribly handled and seems more an excuse to put in modern day lyrics).

    Wounds is an AU where Robert dies after the Battle of the Trident and killing Rhaegar. Stannis is hailed King. Story follows Stannis and Lyanna mostly, and how two people so out of place in court life cope with a dash of Lannister fuckery, because it's not GoT without.
     
  19. Longsword

    Longsword Banned

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2015
    Messages:
    558
    Wounds is excellent. The author has not updated the story in a month or so, but the discussions show that he already had the arcs plotted out.
    Cersei's interpretation of the prophecy ( that still bit her ) was well weaved in. Seems the author might have become stuck in creating believable drama out of Cersei's behaviour in the last few chapters.
     
  20. Odran

    Odran Fourth Champion

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2013
    Messages:
    3,190
    I just read through all of Wounds in one go. It's one of those rare few fan fiction pieces that has been written exceedingly well, doing justice to all characters written, with no bias from the author seeping through the narrative. Everyone is as they are, if you know what I mean. Granted, some characters we never had a chance to get to know in the official books, but even so, they are written outstandingly.

    If someone else doesn't put this up for review here on DLP, I will.
     
Loading...