I'm not sure the diary would have resurrected Tom. The sixteen year old wizard probably didn't know as much as the older form, and he decided it would be easier to kidnap Harry fucking Potter than use a horcrux to possess someone, so if we're saying that's a possibility, we're diverging from canon a little.
I too am writing a long AU, and I've already published the first two books, so I'm definitely interested in this sort of thing, but if your goal in this effort is to have Harry fight Death Eaters, why diverge from canon? The whole point of making him be the boy who lived in canon was to give him a reason to fight them, rather than say 'I'm a kid, what the hell does this have to do with me?'. If he has no adventures between book 2 and book 6, how much magical knowledge and experience is he supposed to have? The whole point of learning more magic than the other kids in canon was so that he could stand a chance in the Triwizard Tournament.
Honestly everything you have going on here seems like it would make Harry less likely and really less able to fight the Death Eaters.

 

@Silirt

Your post gave me a lot to think about. I've re-written this post a few times, but if I don't post it now, I might never.

There are a few reasons to deviate from canon. A lot of fics use the tragic backstory either to justify Harry doing morally questionable things, or to give him a reason to fight. I want to write a story where Harry lives a normal life, has the right guidance, and like you pointed out, no real reason to fight in the war. However, it's still Harry, and he can't just watch his parents, Remus, and Sirius fight, while he stays back. So, he joins the Order, and as the war goes on, he makes progressively more fucked up choices, and by the end, he's truly Voldemort's equal.

Canon!Harry was a "good" guy through and through, even though he had enough reason to believe the worst in people, like Tom Riddle chose to. Ultimately, the power of love is Voldemort's undoing. In my AU, Harry turns out to be a real piece of work, even though he theoretically should have ended up like canon!Harry, considering he's a good guy Gryffindor with loving parents. Just a different spin on the thrice damned prophecy, which Harry can't escape. Even if things had gone differently, and he got to grow up with his parents, things still go tits up, just in a different way. Canon!Harry lost his parents, but he had Love. This Harry has everything canon!Harry didn't, but loses his humanity on the way to defeating Voldemort.

I also realise that I could tell a very similar story if I stuck to canon and used say, one of the Weasley twins or Cedric Diggory as a character. Heck, one of the Mauraders during the war would do too, but I guess I just want the story to be about Harry.

 

I see. In that case, perhaps the reason he fails in this story is because he never knew the value of love, never having been deprived of it. I've always believed the Dursley family basically hardened him and that in the dark of the cupboard under the stairs, he made his most formative memories. Things that would cause other kids to break down and cry challenge him, but do not defeat him.
Anyway, it's an idea, and I know it won't leave you alone until you write it, so I'll see you in WbA.

 

@why?

Harry is never going to equal Voldemort in any straight up fight. Voldemort has what? 50 years of experience on him, an obsessive interest in magic, and far more natural talent to boot. So barring the author pulling some bullshit - I'm looking at you, Rowling - he does not win. Not ever.

So what does Harry have that Voldemort lacks? He's more in touch with the muggle world and all that, more open to learning from it. This leads us down the dark path of mugglewank, and for the most part I advice you to stay away. At most, invent magical walkie-talkie or similar.

Harry also has friends. Obviously, never ever do "the power of love and friendship prevails over evil, because reason!" This is stupid. Don't do this. However, the fact that he has friends who he'd die for, and who'd likewise presumably die for him, means that they'll be willing to do some crazier stuff than most. The trust between them might also serve to improve their teamwork. It's not a huge stretch.

In the search for powerups, go through the world and worldbuild your ass off. Have Harry search for some remains of the texts of the library of Alexandria that may've been forgotten, ancient Egyptian, Aztec or Mayan tombs. Bungle in the Jungle has a lot of faults, but it did do a lot of neat worldbuilding. Explore what magic is, what it can do, and combine skillset A with skillset B.

Harry might not be able to take Voldemort alone, but if he chips away at him and his supporters, and ends up in a five on one fight vs Voldemort then maybe, just maybe, they'll stand a chance. Armies have been defeated many, many times by less formidable foes due to cleverer tactics, luck, and all sorts of circumstances. One of the things you'll need to give Harry is time. Several years. He does not win at 17. Nor at 18. Nor at 19. Maybe at 25 he's done some catching up, enough to be reasonably formidable. He could work his way up Voldemort's supporters.

 

The general fanon is that her family is pureblooded and rich but kept itself from joining one side of the war too definitively, though they do keep in touch with the other purebloods who did join Voldemort. They're usually portrayed as being more "rational" than "emotional". One example is that when marriage contracts occur, they were established for mutual financial gain rather than out of repaying some debt or out of a drunken dare. Daphne's mom is sometimes mentioned as having been Lily's friend, but that's not a constant by any means. There's no consensus on the names of her parents, and they range from the normal to the more exotic.

Daphne herself is always blonde, curvaceous, and beautiful. If the moniker "Ice Queen" is applied (it often is) that's because Daphne is aloof, calm-minded, political, and doesn't really get along with Malfoy too well. Like you said, she's usually friends with Tracey Davis - who's either a muggleborn, in which case she's Slytherin Hermione, or she's a pureblood too, in which case she's Pansy Parkinson but prettier. Another of her soft spots is her sister, Astoria, who she dotes on. Daphne is usually above average in terms of grades, and proud of that fact, though she's not a bookworm. She often has a desire to travel, though that's not nearly as constant as the aforementioned traits.

 

What's the best year after 3 and before 7 to kill off Hermione? Not bashing or something equally as contrived, I mean a full on horror/murder mystery with Harry as it's centerpiece.

 

Harry's being accused of the murder himself? What comes to mind is book four, where people would believe he killed her out of jealousy after she went out with Krum.

 

I’d go with fifth year. You don’t have the full-blown awkward unresolved sexual tension of HBP, so Ron would still be somewhat useful, Voldemort is already a factor, and Harry is probably in the worst psychological state of his Hogwarts years, particularly if you put the actual point of death after the Christmas break to couple with occlumency training.

 

Not as such, there's going to be something clearly messed up with his headspace, and a lot of circumstantial evidence that points towards him. Basically, I've got like six paragraphs so far, and I'm trying to figure out where to go with it.


E: I've got a general outline that I can mold fairly easily, I just need the year as the general setting.

 

I see. Basically, the one thing I think you really need is a motive. Without that, no one would believe he did it in a million years. In book five he was accused of being a madman and trying to gain attention for himself, and for understandable reasons he wasn't really reacting with the ultimate height of maturity, so I guess you could have him have a public argument with Hermione, who then disappears and is later found dead.

 

Hello. I'd like a few opinions on a bunny that I am considering right now.

I've been toying with the idea of writing a story in which the prophecy refers to Harry and Neville. In this way:

In this case, Snape did not overhear the prophecy. Voldemort continued to grow in power. Most people that oppose him live hidden and/or joined the Order. Dumbledore more or less keeps tabs on the children that could fulfill the prophecy, and once he gets to the point in which he knows that only Harry or Neville can be the 'chosen one', he keeps them and their families close(ish), helping and teaching them.

Harry's parents are murdered by Voldemort at one point, and he ends up being raised by (still thinking about that). Either way, he and Neville grow up as close friends.

Voldemort's power begins to grow past the country, and basically all of wizarding Britain is under his power (political, social and everything that comes with that).

Somehow (still considering that), they find that the prophecy now refers to Neville and the Dark Lord.

Someone (I'm seriously considering Dumbledore) kills Voldemort. And, of course, due to it not being what the prophecy stated, Dumbledore gets confused.

After Voldemort's death, people try to catch the DEs and unmarked supporters of his. Society is in disarray due to his death and the fact that most politicians were under his command. A few people (Harry included here, but I still haven't thought of which others) decide to go and basically kill most of Voldemort's supports (DE or not).

Not everyone agrees with that, etc.

Neville watches as his friend, who has always been a bit more radical than he, not so slowly spirals down in a path of violence. He understands that the Dark Lord of the prophecy was not Voldemort, but Harry.

That understanding is "the power he knows not". And he acts by:

1) Killing Harry before he can truly become what the prophecy would refer to as "Dark Lord" (though I'd really want to avoid using "Dark Lord" as a title that exists as if it were a job description or something like that, as many fics do);
or
2) Obliviating Harry from any knowledge about magic, placing him in a good place in the muggle world and keeping tabs on him to see if everything is sound. The way he sees it, obliviating completely someone is just like killing them.​

What I need are opinions on the main points where this story could wrong/fall into plotholes.

One thing I am very out of options is how to have the Longbottoms defy Harry three times - I'm thinking of them opposing his joining the order while he's still very young, and then opposing his post-Voldemort killing spree, but those sound kinda lame, especially the second.

 

Thank you for your reply. Actually, Harry would be well on the path to become a dark wizard, but maybe he would some stuff in secret. Since he and Neville grew up together, though, Harry would have some trust in him, and that's how Neville realizes how far he has already gone.

Somehow, though, this entire idea seems sillier today because of the wording of the prophecy. It would lead me to treat "Dark Lord" as something that exists outside of Voldemort's delusions of self-importance.

 

So, I've thought of a less ambitious idea.

What would have happened in the summer after fourth year, if the Department of Mysteries were unplottable, and not within the MoM?

It occured to me that I'd never seen the DoM be anywhere but there until I read Echoes in the Fog, where it's a huge, ominous building located where the old Minisry used to be.

It could be hidden by a fidelius, and not even be in the same dimension. Whatever the case, Voldemort would have to delay obtaining the prophecy, or maybe even forgo attempting to.

I'm not sure where I'd wanna take this, but if this is new info to Tom, would he then anounce his return earlier? Or still be wary of Harry being his undoing, and focus on the continent, and Durmstrang instead?

edit:

Or Dumbledore knows of such an artefact that could hide the prophecy and tells Harry to not go looking for it, like he did with the third floor in year one, lmao.

 

What are some pitfalls I should look to avoid in writing a fic with a time jump. Is a time jump a bad idea in general?

Here's the basic napkin pitch of the story: Harry overpowers Wormtail at the graveyard and is able to destroy the baby Voldemort, so Voldemort is not resurrected. He returns to Hogwarts and has a debrief with Dumbledore, with Albus pretty much saying "Look, you've done great and bought us some time. But we both know he's coming back. I want you to complete your final two years of education here and then we're going to finish this together." At this point DD also tells Harry about the prophecy.

At this point I figure I want to work in a time jump, skipping fifth and sixth years and opening up the summer before seventh, on Harry's birthday, where Order members are going to move him out of Privet Drive. I think the divergence of having Voldemort again in shade/horcrux form instead of resurrected would make fifth and sixth years pretty boring--by Hogwarts terms--mostly focusing on Harry studying (I see no reason for Umbridge, for example, because Dumbledore has no reason to try and convince the Ministry Voldemort is back and get on Fudge's bad side). So I don't want to write two years of studying/boarding school slice of life.

Anyway, does this sort of time jump make sense? Would it be too jarring? How much or how little should I refer back to things that have happened the past two years?

I also want to work in some Albus mentoring Harry, but I wonder what's the best sort of balance between what he did in sixth year canon (which I think was not enough) and just having Albus make Harry way too OP by teaching him his special Belgian dueling stance or whatever.

Would it be in character for Albus to say something like "I will teach you, but you'll need to build the groundwork for it. I'll start teaching you after you've completed year seven. You'll need X, Y, and Z NEWTS." Obviously with proper Dumbledore dialog rather than my abridged version

 

Interesting one.

If it were me, I'd start the story at the time-jump. As in, when the action really gets going. You'll need to weave in the canon-divergence, but again, if it were me, I'd start the story with Dumbledore teaching Harry post-Hogwarts.

The failed resurrection in the graveyard could be explained in a single line.

'We know he came close in that graveyard, Headmaster,' Harry said, scratching at his stubbly cheeks. 'I stopped him then, but we both know this doesn't end until one of us is in the ground, and stays there.'

A good piece of writing advice I was given was to start your story as close to the end as possible. Trust that your readers will pick up the divergence points and run with it. I wouldn't want to slog through two or three filler chapters getting people up to speed. That's sloppy.