https://gfycat.com/pl/whitegreedyafricanmolesnake-maisie-williams-sophie-turner-kit-harington

 

Well I don’t care about Euron and Cersei now.

 

The show has either truly become more so than the meme fanfiction, or the plan Martin pitched to D&D was worse than I had feared, to effectively sideline the entire main storyline running throughout the entire series as a mere 'key storyline,' by the direct words of one of the creators of the show. But I suppose that's the difference between a series entitled "A Game of Thrones" as opposed to "A Song of Ice and Fire." Seven seasons of build-up, tension, suspense, and so forth—all to fall flat. Being able to land your endings is critical, and this leaves me with little hope for the rest of this season and series. Alas, and to think this may well be the definitive end we ever see, because for as much as Martin may eventually finish TWOW, I have a strong, sinking suspicion we will never see ADOS.

 

Aaaaaaannnd...

Yeah, no. This isn't Game of Thrones, this was just... Hollywood. Resolved just like that? Night King killed via sneak attack from where exactly, was Arya hiding in the tree? Who died, of the named characters? I saw Beric on the floor, dying, but I'm not sure if he's dead. Jorah and Lyanna. But they teased so many deaths that I'm kinda pissed that plot armor saved Sam, Jamie, Brienne, Tormund, Greyworm, the Hound, Jon, Dany, Arya, Sansa, Bran, and Tyrion. And jury is out on Theon as well. Everyone I care about besides Jorah is still alive. What were the stakes supposed to be in this Life vs Death showdown?

If you're gonna buy yourself a Hollywood ending for the Big Bad, GoT, you have to pay for it with blood, and I don't mean the nameless extras.

 

As someone whose interest in game of thrones started and ended at Emilia Clarke getting her tits out and hasn't seen a single episode, I've gotta admit, I'm now intrigued. What'd they do that fucked it up so badly?

 

This is basically the plot of the Winds of Winter resolving, to be followed by the Dream of Spring. I don't have a problem with that. The story was always about the war of succession.
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Just the usual whining from fans who would never have been pleased by anything anyway.

 

Spoiler

1. Jorah: 55 days of filming and millions of dollars to produce, and we did it all at night?!? Everyone is going to have a hard time seeing a thing.

Grey Worm: At least they bothered to have Ghost here.

Jorah: And, he's gone.

2. Jon: Why are we just standing here? Shouldn't we be out doing something with our dragons?

Dany: Shh, just enjoy some of the cool views first before we fly out.

Jon: About that, did we ever acknowledge how major it is that I can fly a dragon? And did we ever get around to getting some bloody saddles, it hurts like hell.

3. Davos: Melisandre, where the hell where you all this time? And how did you manage to get here when the White Walkers are almost here?

Melisandre: Never mind that now. I'm here to help, and I won't survive the upcoming battle.

Davos: Are you going to sacrifice yourself to perform some badass magic?

Melisandre: Nope. I'll set the Dothraki weapons on fire before they immediately die, light some trenches that will work for all of 2 minutes that doesn't make me break a sweat, and have some lame payoff/foreshadowing moment with Arya, and then just walk out and die. You could literally write me out of the episode, and it would barely change a thing.

4. Jon: Hey, no Night King or ice dragon! Does that mean he's actually going to King's Landing, where he'll create a massive army from the city and turn Cersei into the Night Queen? It'll be a great way to really show the White Walkers are a massive threat and serve Cersei right for not helping when the fate of the world is literally at stake.

Ice King: That theory was too smart for this show, I was just waiting to make an entrance.

5. Arya: Melisandre, Ser Beric is dying, would you mind bringing him back to life? That other Red Priest did it a bunch of times, and you brought Jon back to life before. And if you do nothing, odds are good he'll kind of turn into a wright and try to kill us both.

Melisandre: Sorry, no can do. I'm just here to foreshadow the end of the episode.

Arya: But-

Melisandre: BLUE EYES!

6. Sansa: Shit, the dead are rising! We really should thought of that before we hid the women and children in a place full of dead people.

Tyrion: Don't worry, odds are the Starks did something to make sure the dead buried in the Stark crypts are actually going to fight against the White Walkers instead, like Coldhands/Benjen. Why else would they give every single grave its own sword?

Wright: That theory was too smart for this show, we're just going to be mildly threatening to a bunch of unnamed extras.

7. Jorah: *dies*

Dany: He died as he lived: a stalking creep that long since overstayed his welcome.

8. Night King: Now that I have Bran in my grasp, does that mean I win? Or am I going to be killed at the last minute, have the entire army destroyed in one fell swoop, and leave Cersei of all people to be the final big bad of the show?

Arya: Now there's the right kind of stupid theory for this show! *Stabs Night King*

Theon: The hell? How did you even get so close to the Night King without any other White Walkers or wrights noticing you? And why do you get to kill him while I go out like a punk?

 

What a fucking cop out.

 

Sooo ... Arya's the Princess Who Was Promised? Or is the implication that the prophecy was a dud? I was left scratching my head a bit, because even if we argue that Daenerys is the one in the prophecy (wake the dragons!), the dragons didn't really do anything.

 

And also, I really hate the trope of the Final Battle taking place in darkness. Seriously, they probably put so much effort into filming this and between the lighting and some of the spastic editing I was left guessing what the fuck was going on. The air jousting between Viserion and Rheagal was a major disappointment. I couldn't tell who was biting whom. The crypts were a total fart once the dead rose. Everything in the courtyard was dark as all fuck. And they added a blizzard on top of it all. Meh.

 

And we're still only what, halfway through the final season?

The White Walkers were dealt with in exactly one episode worth of battle.

 

Yeah I thought the live dragon won the whole time. So confused by the whole thing.

Arya's moment was good though. A nice subversion in my opinion. I thought she disguised herself as a white walker or something..

 

You know how everyone said there was no way they'd kill off the Night King and end the White Walker threat in Episode 3, and leave the rest of the season to Cersei and the Golden Company?

Well everyone was wrong.

Careful you don't cut yourself on all that edge, lord.

 

Whiney whiney whine whine whine.

 

I'll wait for the season to end to see if there's still something more, but it did feel a bit like I was cheated. What was Bran even doing the entire time he was warging? Jon and Dany were about just as useful as nipples on a breastplate. All the main characters are up against the wall 100:1 and still survive. All the people in the crypts with only two dragonglass weapons and people actually live? Melisandre saves westeros with the power of foreshadowing? Arya is the Prince Who Was Promised? WHAT WAS BRAN DOING?

 

I actually quite loved it. The first thirty minutes felt like watching the first thirty minutes of Saving Private Ryan. It was Hollywood, but damn if it wasn't good Hollywood.

They probably should have killed off more of the named cast but eh.

Also don't get the complaints about visibility, I actually felt that it was very well done. That opening scene of the dothraki just evaporating into darkness? The chaos and barely seen faces, flashes of bodies, loud sounds and overstimulation all around - it was immersive as fuck. I spent most of the episode crushing my girlfriend's hand.

 

Also the battle strategy sucked ass.

Apparently they planned to have Dothraki charge into darkness against superior numbers with subpar weapons and no light before Mel showed up. The trebuchets fired exactly once. The pallisade should've been further out from the walls, with breaks so the enemy could trickle in through choke points for the Unsullied phalanx to stab with their spears from safe distance. There should've been bonfires out in the field to range the enemy for the trebuchets. Keep Dothraki behind Winterfell for a shock flank strike once the dead are nice and snug up against the foot troops.

Where's Ramsay Bolton when you need a competent strategist.

 

Seething.

 

I expected nothing and was still disappointed. Goddamn that was shit. Aside from the other complaints, at least 3-4 times during the episode the characters are surrounded and they cut from them to another scene only for them to be fine when they get back on screen.
The only somewhat good moment was Theon dying, a nice futilely heroic death, only to be completely shat on by flying Arya. Bitch got some air on that jump.

 

@Feanor I think the Hound tossed her over the godswood. That shit was more comic book than most of Endgame.