I've seen this on a lot of CN forums, but their's are usually pretty lame.

"I sh00t you wit a rifle"

I highly doubt there's can match anything DLP can come up with and I thought this would be fun, if not wholly entertaining, so with that.

Kill me.

 

Thats My Job, You Stupid Asshat.

Xiao goes ninja in Gizmore's stead!

Blood drools to the muddy ground as his sword impales you upon its point, slicing flesh and muscle, cleaving bone as it slides through the other side. Your face, a mixture of shock and pain, vanishes in an instant as the cold steel is wretched from your body and is swung in a graceful arch, detaching your head in one swipe. Blood rains down with every weakening pump of your dying heart as your head hits the ground with a splat, eyes wide and unseeing. Dead.

 

A picture says a thousand words:


(yeh, this was rushed - stfu)

Bye Bye, Xiph0.

 

Dango-Fetish goes off to Cuba for a bit of sex torism. While there he procures the services of a 12-year-old hermaphrodite with herpes. He catches it, and lugs his sickened carkass back to home. Upon discovering that he has given her anther STD, his mother (who ravishes him every night) cuts of his testes and feeds them to him. Unforchantely in the excitment she forgot to stem the blood loss, so our poor Dango-Fetish bleeds to death.

Edit: What the fuck, this link below somehow appeared at the bottome of my post. My sister's computer must have a virus.

 

God I hate these threads...

 

Thanks for the information.

Shouldn't you be listening to Greenday and playing with your favorite razor?

 

Hi Darius... I'm George Zimmer - Founder And Ceo Of The Men's Wearhouse. My Yodeling Manseed-sprayer Can Kill A Yak At Thirty Paces With One Swing. It'll Be A Cold Day In Hell When Anyone On Can Complain About The Power Contained In My Fortune 500 Fetus Facialist. I'll Track You Down, Withdraw My Mischievous Maiden Mangler From My Unconscionably Sexy Suit And Watch In Silence As You Beg To Suckle At My Terrifyingly Tantalizing Testicles. You Won't Be Able To Resist Me As I Satiate My Randy Rape Rod Using Your Quivering Flesh. I'll Leave Your Corpse For Passersby To Find It, Naked And Dripping With Several Helpings Of My Extraordinarily Effervescent Essence Outside The Local Elementary School. Then I'll Move On To Your Mother. I Guarantee It.

 

Leaving IRC things on IRC is apparently something that has been lost on you Xenon.

Not even your own work, Maybe next time.

*Impales George Zimmer on His Zamboni of love*

 

Thats what I forgot to do today!

Thanks for the reminder, I'll get right to it.

 

/me takes Kai Sheks littles sister pants away from him and watches the inevitable /wrist.

 

Shut the fucking fuck up.

Darius, I dowse you in giant pheromones and give you to Hagrid and Grawp.

 

Right away sir! Remind me right away when I open my mouth to far, I will gladly accept orders from someone who can never shut theirs.

 

/me nails kai Shek down to a bed and forces him to mate with a chicken. Not just any chicken, though. A chicken hosting cholera.

Thanks to the cholera, Kai Shek will simultaneously puke and shit out the entire contents of his insides. Thankfully, the merciful Dango-Fetish shall inject the vaccine shortly before death.

Once Kai Shek has had all the crap "flushed out", Dango-Fetish will ram a funnel up Kai Shek's ass and proceed to inject as much polyfiller as humanly possible. The polyfiller expands and BOOM goes Kai Shek (either that or it sets and he can't breath).

 

Srsly? Shut up. Stop fucking ruining the thread for everyone trying to play game.

Places Dango-Fetish in a vat of boiling skeet. From there, he chokes, and dies, swallowing hot skeet.

 

Lady Rebecca waits for the oppurtune moment...

She grabs the baseball bat behind her and slams it into Dark Lord Rostam's kneecaps. He falls to the ground with a cry and looks at her with betrayal and horror. She raises the bat again and presses a button on it. Great hooked blades shoot out and lock themselves outside of the bat. With a Battle Cry, she hacks away at flesh and crushes bone. Blood spurts out of his mouth as his lungs are punctured. With a final breath, he ceases movement and dies beneath her blows.

 

Zoken stands defiant before Lady Rebecca. "FOR AGIS!" He roars. Zoken's faithful legions of Cursing Furbies descend from the skies, their humming joints and foul language fill the area. nothing more can be heard. Finally, Zippy, the Leader of my Cursing Furby army drops a level 5 Ice-burn insult on her causing her not only to die of shame three times over, but to have the word "DAMN!" seared onto her forehead.

 

Throws Zoken under a cardboard box and hastily scrawls "Transmogrifier" on it. Calvin, with his trusty tiger beside him, sets the dial to "Fangirl!Pussy!Harry", and presses the button. ZAP! You are turned into Fangirl!Pussy!Harry, and thrown to the wolves, namely Fangirl!Malfoy, where he then impales you from behind, thus inducing MPREG. Nine months later, you give birth to a shit covered baby, while Ginny rides you like she does her brothers. You die months later from the STDs you caught and Malfoy killing you for cheating on him. He himself later dies from a broken heart where you later meet up in the afterlife, making many more shit covered babies.

 

Slowly sneaks up on HPJC as he walks in the quiet day, whistling to himself. Suddenly leaps out of the shadows and pushes him into the 15-foot deep manure pit that he had been strolling by. Watches as you drown in liquid shit. Laughs.

 

Hiding in the shadows of a dark tree, Aekiel waits for the oppurtune moment. He waits, not moving a muscle as the quiet figure of M1ndless strolls past, completely unaware of his fate.

Suddenly! He jumps out from the shadows, knocking M1ndless out cold and begins to drag him away.

***Later***

M1ndless is tied to a table, restrained by harsh leather straps around his head, arms, ankles and torso. He tries to move but is unsuccessful. As he wriggles around in fear a dark form forms from the shadows and stalks forward. The figure walks up to the table and positions a strange looking device above M1ndless' head.

"This is a device invented by the Chinese," says Aekiel, "It was originally designed as a torture method ove rlong periods of time. It usually uses water, but not this time," he says with an evil grin.

Pushing a button on the side of the machine a single drop of liquid falls onto M1ndless' forehead. M1ndless screams.

"Oh, I forgot to mention," says the all too smug looking Aekiel, "that's hydrochloric acid. It will take about 2 or 3 days, but it will eventually eat its way through your skull and in to your brain. By that point you will be your namesake.

Aekiel