DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

Competition topic: Magical New Year!

Marathon goal? Crank out words!

Check the marathon thread or competition thread for details.
Dismiss Notice
Hi there, Guest
Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
Dismiss Notice
Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

New Thread Thursday
+
Shit Post Sunday

READ ME
Dismiss Notice

DLP Story Competition Guest User Registration Nag SPS + NTT

Make Pictures Funny Again

Discussion in 'The Humor Mill' started by Jon, Jan 23, 2017.

Not open for further replies.

: 5/5, 3 votes

Page 198 of 228

Arthellion Lord of the Banned ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

Joined:

Apr 14, 2017

Messages:

1,397

Gender:

Male

Location:

Georgia, USA

High Score:

4400

Aug 23, 2019 #3941

You know you're something when you can line up Arthellion, DR, and Vlad [RIP] on the same side ~ Nazgus

Arthellion Delenda Est -DLP

Scene: a fairly average cemetery, basking in the last rays of the mid-autumn sun, 70 F and not a cloud in the sky. A man, nondescript, wearing sunglasses that were popular several summers ago, but were more likely picked up after that fact, opens a gate that has seen better days. Miraculously, no metal whine occurs as he does so. All the same, he leaves it open, though whether it is out of fear of the grating sound or out of negligence is unclear.

He moves with less purpose than usually seen. It is as if he is looking for someone, but, being unfamiliar with this particular cemetery, he is momentarily lost. Yet soon, he finds a trail, and picks up the pace, moving with purpose to end up in front of one of the most recent graves. He takes in the sight: flowers, lack of tombstone - it is too recent a passing - and the wooden plate with engraving that serves as it for now. He lowers his head, offering a silent prayer, or perhaps thoughts, before leaving something of his own.

It is an engraved piece of wood, similar to the tombstone, but smaller, and far more intricate. Eagle-eyed viewers easily make out the sloth hidden behind, but the circle and large stripe across make no sense to people not in the know. As it should be. After that, the man leaves. Yet, those closeby might hear a whisper on the wind. "Finally, Arthellion is banned."

Archinist, Inert, H_A_Greene, ScottPress, oakgem217
Juggalibrarian First Year

Joined:

Nov 21, 2018

Messages:

28

Aug 23, 2019 #3942

pbluekan, Archinist, Kraken, FlyingOctopus, Rhaegar I, Unknown, Kravot, Inert, H_A_Greene, ScottPress, oakgem217, Nevermind, Moridin, Nazgoose, Ash'Ura
Silirt Chief Warlock DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

Joined:

Sep 19, 2018

Messages:

1,529

Gender:

Male

Location:

Georgia

Aug 23, 2019 #3943

"Everything about you seems like Chaotic Evil. " -Majube, pronounced Mah-jew-bay

Rookwood on Blood Purism

Archinist, Kraken, Rhaegar I, Ash'Ura, Unknown, Kravot, Inert, H_A_Greene, The Arid Legion, ScottPress, oakgem217, Nevermind, Cjonbloodletter, DarthBill
Arthellion Lord of the Banned ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

Joined:

Apr 14, 2017

Messages:

1,397

Gender:

Male

Location:

Georgia, USA

High Score:

4400

Aug 23, 2019 #3944

Credit to @Nazgus I loled too hard because it reminded of a DnD nat 1...

You know you're something when you can line up Arthellion, DR, and Vlad [RIP] on the same side ~ Nazgus

Arthellion Delenda Est -DLP

Scene: a fairly average cemetery, basking in the last rays of the mid-autumn sun, 70 F and not a cloud in the sky. A man, nondescript, wearing sunglasses that were popular several summers ago, but were more likely picked up after that fact, opens a gate that has seen better days. Miraculously, no metal whine occurs as he does so. All the same, he leaves it open, though whether it is out of fear of the grating sound or out of negligence is unclear.

He moves with less purpose than usually seen. It is as if he is looking for someone, but, being unfamiliar with this particular cemetery, he is momentarily lost. Yet soon, he finds a trail, and picks up the pace, moving with purpose to end up in front of one of the most recent graves. He takes in the sight: flowers, lack of tombstone - it is too recent a passing - and the wooden plate with engraving that serves as it for now. He lowers his head, offering a silent prayer, or perhaps thoughts, before leaving something of his own.

It is an engraved piece of wood, similar to the tombstone, but smaller, and far more intricate. Eagle-eyed viewers easily make out the sloth hidden behind, but the circle and large stripe across make no sense to people not in the know. As it should be. After that, the man leaves. Yet, those closeby might hear a whisper on the wind. "Finally, Arthellion is banned."

Kraken, James, Rhaegar I, Ash'Ura, Archinist, Inert, H_A_Greene, ScottPress, oakgem217, Striker, VanRopen, Nazgoose
Archinist Hαn Sαlsæd First

Joined:

Jun 30, 2019

Messages:

485

Gender:

Male

Location:

Holy Terra

Aug 23, 2019 #3945

Faith.

I don't know when you gave it up, lost child. Were you never loved when you were young? Did a woman spurn you, or did the system beat you down? What hardships drove you, controlled you, until you came before me today?

It's hard to keep faith when I see children like you, broken and despoiled, then tossed aside when their purpose is finished. Oh yes, my boy, you're hardly the first ringleader I've seen down here, and you might yet not be the last. You’re full of fire and fury, just like all the ones before, but you and I both know that it’s a hollow feeling. There’s a faith-sized hole in your heart, and no amount of Warp-spawn will fill it.

You don’t have faith in the Imperium. You don’t have faith in your fellow man. You can’t even believe in love, or hope, or joy and despair that doesn’t come from an alien abomination. You can’t see the ocean of corruption, yet you’re drowning in it. You’re lost in the wilderness, little child, and only you and the Emperor can know how deep you’ve sunk.

Other lost children have asked me why I stay. Minister of a sad little church, shepard of a tiny flock, drowning in the greed and corruption from above - I’m just one man. I stand here fighting a battle already lost, with the hive in flames, the Governor and his cronies dead, and the black ships standing watch above. Perhaps there is no point to this mad universe; mayhaps it truly is a galaxy spinning adrift from rhyme or reason.

Yet the Emperor, for all his power, was just one man. Horus the Betrayer, Saint Sebastian Thor, and even humble Ollanius Pius were all just men. You are one man, as am I. Each of us may be saints or sinners, as we make of the lives given us.

I look at you, strong in Warp-borne mutations and diseases, and all I can see is weakness. You were so frail that when hardship bore down on you, and when this harsh reality sunk its claws in, you bargained your immortal soul away for relief from a little pain. Your physical strength cannot hide your spiritual weakness: where better men stood fast and died proudly, you sold out your Emperor and your fellow man for your worthless life.

So come fight me, lost children. We’ve all made our choices, and now those choices have made us. I shall bring you into His light with cleansing flame and prayers, and redeem us all in death. Come one or come all, you shall not put a foot into this hallowed ground while I still draw breath.

For I have faith, and that is enough.

Kraken, FlyingOctopus, Rhaegar I, Ash'Ura, ScottPress, oakgem217
Arthellion Lord of the Banned ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

Joined:

Apr 14, 2017

Messages:

1,397

Gender:

Male

Location:

Georgia, USA

High Score:

4400

Aug 23, 2019 #3946

The cardwell reforms was so needed for the British. Their fleet was epic but their army sucked for so long...

You know you're something when you can line up Arthellion, DR, and Vlad [RIP] on the same side ~ Nazgus

Arthellion Delenda Est -DLP

Scene: a fairly average cemetery, basking in the last rays of the mid-autumn sun, 70 F and not a cloud in the sky. A man, nondescript, wearing sunglasses that were popular several summers ago, but were more likely picked up after that fact, opens a gate that has seen better days. Miraculously, no metal whine occurs as he does so. All the same, he leaves it open, though whether it is out of fear of the grating sound or out of negligence is unclear.

He moves with less purpose than usually seen. It is as if he is looking for someone, but, being unfamiliar with this particular cemetery, he is momentarily lost. Yet soon, he finds a trail, and picks up the pace, moving with purpose to end up in front of one of the most recent graves. He takes in the sight: flowers, lack of tombstone - it is too recent a passing - and the wooden plate with engraving that serves as it for now. He lowers his head, offering a silent prayer, or perhaps thoughts, before leaving something of his own.

It is an engraved piece of wood, similar to the tombstone, but smaller, and far more intricate. Eagle-eyed viewers easily make out the sloth hidden behind, but the circle and large stripe across make no sense to people not in the know. As it should be. After that, the man leaves. Yet, those closeby might hear a whisper on the wind. "Finally, Arthellion is banned."
Cjonbloodletter Professor

Joined:

Jan 29, 2007

Messages:

472

Gender:

Male

Location:

In Lord Jabu Jabu

Aug 23, 2019 #3947

"It all averages out, shit happens two to three times a week, ordinary people do it in the median." Tim Dorsey, "Orange Crush"

Ched, Kraken, Rhaegar I, Ash'Ura, Nevermind, Archinist, ScottPress, Zilly Sawdust, Majube
ScottPress The Horny Sovereign –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

Joined:

Apr 22, 2013

Messages:

44

Gender:

Male

Location:

The Holy Moose Empire

High Score:

6900

Aug 23, 2019 #3948

Sree said:

when you look into your mom's eyes, scott
can you tell how disappointed she is that she has you for a son
Click to expand...

Alindrome, Kraken, oakgem217, Ash'Ura, Unknown, Nevermind, H_A_Greene, Inert, Archinist
Archinist Hαn Sαlsæd First

Joined:

Jun 30, 2019

Messages:

485

Gender:

Male

Location:

Holy Terra

Aug 23, 2019 #3949

Faith.

I don't know when you gave it up, lost child. Were you never loved when you were young? Did a woman spurn you, or did the system beat you down? What hardships drove you, controlled you, until you came before me today?

It's hard to keep faith when I see children like you, broken and despoiled, then tossed aside when their purpose is finished. Oh yes, my boy, you're hardly the first ringleader I've seen down here, and you might yet not be the last. You’re full of fire and fury, just like all the ones before, but you and I both know that it’s a hollow feeling. There’s a faith-sized hole in your heart, and no amount of Warp-spawn will fill it.

You don’t have faith in the Imperium. You don’t have faith in your fellow man. You can’t even believe in love, or hope, or joy and despair that doesn’t come from an alien abomination. You can’t see the ocean of corruption, yet you’re drowning in it. You’re lost in the wilderness, little child, and only you and the Emperor can know how deep you’ve sunk.

Other lost children have asked me why I stay. Minister of a sad little church, shepard of a tiny flock, drowning in the greed and corruption from above - I’m just one man. I stand here fighting a battle already lost, with the hive in flames, the Governor and his cronies dead, and the black ships standing watch above. Perhaps there is no point to this mad universe; mayhaps it truly is a galaxy spinning adrift from rhyme or reason.

Yet the Emperor, for all his power, was just one man. Horus the Betrayer, Saint Sebastian Thor, and even humble Ollanius Pius were all just men. You are one man, as am I. Each of us may be saints or sinners, as we make of the lives given us.

I look at you, strong in Warp-borne mutations and diseases, and all I can see is weakness. You were so frail that when hardship bore down on you, and when this harsh reality sunk its claws in, you bargained your immortal soul away for relief from a little pain. Your physical strength cannot hide your spiritual weakness: where better men stood fast and died proudly, you sold out your Emperor and your fellow man for your worthless life.

So come fight me, lost children. We’ve all made our choices, and now those choices have made us. I shall bring you into His light with cleansing flame and prayers, and redeem us all in death. Come one or come all, you shall not put a foot into this hallowed ground while I still draw breath.

For I have faith, and that is enough.

Ched, Kraken, oakgem217, DarthBill, Rhaegar I, Ash'Ura, Zerg_Lurker, Unknown, Majube, Nevermind, Nemrut, ScottPress, Longsword, H_A_Greene, Inert, Moridin
H_A_Greene Unspeakable –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

Joined:

Aug 30, 2009

Messages:

715

High Score:

4,492

Aug 23, 2019 #3950

Swimdraconian, pbluekan, LittleChicago, Inert, Kraken, Republic, Phantom of the Library, oakgem217, The Arid Legion, Nazgoose, FlyingOctopus, Rhaegar I, Ash'Ura, Majube, VanRopen, ScottPress, Archinist, Nemrut, Shinysavage, Agayek
Oment The Betrayer DLP Supporter

Joined:

Apr 11, 2011

Messages:

3,596

Aug 23, 2019 #3951

There's some glorious irony of having ST's resident parental teenager cast as the kid of the crew in Holland's Spidey.

For the D&D crew, your daily reminder that DMs are Evil-aligned by definition.

Curse my sudden but inevitable betrayals.

Ur-Fascism is still around us, sometimes in plainclothes. It would be so much easier for us if there appeared on the world scene somebody saying, "I want to reopen Auschwitz, I want the Blackshirts to parade again in the Italian squares." Life is not that simple. Ur-Fascism can come back under the most innocent of disguises. Our duty is to uncover it and to point our finger at any of its new instances — every day, in every part of the world. [...] Freedom and liberation are an unending task.
Click to expand...

-- Umberto Eco, Ur-Fascism

Halt, pbluekan, Kraken, Juggalibrarian, Thaumologist, oakgem217, Feoffic, Kravot, Nazgoose, Rhaegar I, Ash'Ura, Zerg_Lurker, Download, H_A_Greene, Majube, Goten Askil, Psychotic Cat
Ash'Ura Totally Sirius

Joined:

Dec 10, 2009

Messages:

3,427

Gender:

Male

Location:

Texas

Aug 23, 2019 #3952

Uncle Iroh said:

While it always best to believe in oneself, a little help from others can be a great blessing.
Click to expand...

Alindrome, Kraken, Longsword, H_A_Greene, Thaumologist, oakgem217, Archinist, Shinysavage, Rhaegar I
Archinist Hαn Sαlsæd First

Joined:

Jun 30, 2019

Messages:

485

Gender:

Male

Location:

Holy Terra

Aug 23, 2019 #3953

Faith.

I don't know when you gave it up, lost child. Were you never loved when you were young? Did a woman spurn you, or did the system beat you down? What hardships drove you, controlled you, until you came before me today?

It's hard to keep faith when I see children like you, broken and despoiled, then tossed aside when their purpose is finished. Oh yes, my boy, you're hardly the first ringleader I've seen down here, and you might yet not be the last. You’re full of fire and fury, just like all the ones before, but you and I both know that it’s a hollow feeling. There’s a faith-sized hole in your heart, and no amount of Warp-spawn will fill it.

You don’t have faith in the Imperium. You don’t have faith in your fellow man. You can’t even believe in love, or hope, or joy and despair that doesn’t come from an alien abomination. You can’t see the ocean of corruption, yet you’re drowning in it. You’re lost in the wilderness, little child, and only you and the Emperor can know how deep you’ve sunk.

Other lost children have asked me why I stay. Minister of a sad little church, shepard of a tiny flock, drowning in the greed and corruption from above - I’m just one man. I stand here fighting a battle already lost, with the hive in flames, the Governor and his cronies dead, and the black ships standing watch above. Perhaps there is no point to this mad universe; mayhaps it truly is a galaxy spinning adrift from rhyme or reason.

Yet the Emperor, for all his power, was just one man. Horus the Betrayer, Saint Sebastian Thor, and even humble Ollanius Pius were all just men. You are one man, as am I. Each of us may be saints or sinners, as we make of the lives given us.

I look at you, strong in Warp-borne mutations and diseases, and all I can see is weakness. You were so frail that when hardship bore down on you, and when this harsh reality sunk its claws in, you bargained your immortal soul away for relief from a little pain. Your physical strength cannot hide your spiritual weakness: where better men stood fast and died proudly, you sold out your Emperor and your fellow man for your worthless life.

So come fight me, lost children. We’ve all made our choices, and now those choices have made us. I shall bring you into His light with cleansing flame and prayers, and redeem us all in death. Come one or come all, you shall not put a foot into this hallowed ground while I still draw breath.

For I have faith, and that is enough.

Unknown, ScottPress, Longsword, Ash'Ura, Rhaegar I, DarthBill
startrekfan Second Year

Joined:

Feb 22, 2015

Messages:

77

Location:

Wouldn't you like to know...

Aug 23, 2019 #3954

Kensington, Unknown, R. E. Lee, Zerg_Lurker, Inert, Majube, Blorcyn, ScottPress, Kraken, Longsword, boredrandom, Juggalibrarian, Ash'Ura, H_A_Greene, Archinist, Rhaegar I, Kravot, oakgem217, Thaumologist, Cjonbloodletter, DarthBill, Agayek, Nazgoose
Shinysavage Madman With A Box ~ Prestige ~ ⭐

Joined:

Nov 16, 2009

Messages:

2,059

Location:

UK

High Score:

2,296

Aug 23, 2019 #3955

Salsa said: ↑

Click to expand...

I remember that. Source is Private Eye, a fortnightly satirical magazine in the UK - in this case, poking fun at the years long tendency of the British press to have Diana on their front page on the flimsiest pretext.

“I am and always will be the optimist. The hoper of far-flung hopes and the dreamer of improbable dreams.”

Hallowed WbA
The Wizard and the Writer WbA

Mass Effect: Archer-ized WbA
The Phoenix Paradox WbA

FlyingOctopus, someone010101, Psychotic Cat, Archinist
Mestre Professor

Joined:

Aug 7, 2015

Messages:

451

Location:

Portugal

Aug 23, 2019 #3956

Unknown, Conquistador, Zerg_Lurker, Halt, Iztiak, pbluekan, Inert, Majube, 9th Doctor, ScottPress, Paradise, Thaumologist, Nevermind, Archinist, Aekiel, Arthellion, Nazgoose, Agayek, H_A_Greene
Archinist Hαn Sαlsæd First

Joined:

Jun 30, 2019

Messages:

485

Gender:

Male

Location:

Holy Terra

Aug 23, 2019 #3957

Faith.

I don't know when you gave it up, lost child. Were you never loved when you were young? Did a woman spurn you, or did the system beat you down? What hardships drove you, controlled you, until you came before me today?

It's hard to keep faith when I see children like you, broken and despoiled, then tossed aside when their purpose is finished. Oh yes, my boy, you're hardly the first ringleader I've seen down here, and you might yet not be the last. You’re full of fire and fury, just like all the ones before, but you and I both know that it’s a hollow feeling. There’s a faith-sized hole in your heart, and no amount of Warp-spawn will fill it.

You don’t have faith in the Imperium. You don’t have faith in your fellow man. You can’t even believe in love, or hope, or joy and despair that doesn’t come from an alien abomination. You can’t see the ocean of corruption, yet you’re drowning in it. You’re lost in the wilderness, little child, and only you and the Emperor can know how deep you’ve sunk.

Other lost children have asked me why I stay. Minister of a sad little church, shepard of a tiny flock, drowning in the greed and corruption from above - I’m just one man. I stand here fighting a battle already lost, with the hive in flames, the Governor and his cronies dead, and the black ships standing watch above. Perhaps there is no point to this mad universe; mayhaps it truly is a galaxy spinning adrift from rhyme or reason.

Yet the Emperor, for all his power, was just one man. Horus the Betrayer, Saint Sebastian Thor, and even humble Ollanius Pius were all just men. You are one man, as am I. Each of us may be saints or sinners, as we make of the lives given us.

I look at you, strong in Warp-borne mutations and diseases, and all I can see is weakness. You were so frail that when hardship bore down on you, and when this harsh reality sunk its claws in, you bargained your immortal soul away for relief from a little pain. Your physical strength cannot hide your spiritual weakness: where better men stood fast and died proudly, you sold out your Emperor and your fellow man for your worthless life.

So come fight me, lost children. We’ve all made our choices, and now those choices have made us. I shall bring you into His light with cleansing flame and prayers, and redeem us all in death. Come one or come all, you shall not put a foot into this hallowed ground while I still draw breath.

For I have faith, and that is enough.

Unknown, Inert, oakgem217, Majube, Rhaegar I, ScottPress, Dresden11, Kraken, Nazgoose, Kravot, Cjonbloodletter, H_A_Greene, balin, Ash'Ura, Arthellion
Ash'Ura Totally Sirius

Joined:

Dec 10, 2009

Messages:

3,427

Gender:

Male

Location:

Texas

Aug 24, 2019 #3958

Uncle Iroh said:

While it always best to believe in oneself, a little help from others can be a great blessing.
Click to expand...

Zerg_Lurker, Halt, Kraken, Archinist, oakgem217, DarthBill, Rhaegar I, ScottPress, Cjonbloodletter
Oment The Betrayer DLP Supporter

Joined:

Apr 11, 2011

Messages:

3,596

Aug 24, 2019 #3959

Curse my sudden but inevitable betrayals.

Ur-Fascism is still around us, sometimes in plainclothes. It would be so much easier for us if there appeared on the world scene somebody saying, "I want to reopen Auschwitz, I want the Blackshirts to parade again in the Italian squares." Life is not that simple. Ur-Fascism can come back under the most innocent of disguises. Our duty is to uncover it and to point our finger at any of its new instances — every day, in every part of the world. [...] Freedom and liberation are an unending task.
Click to expand...

-- Umberto Eco, Ur-Fascism

Zerg_Lurker, Otters, H_A_Greene, Kraken, Mister Ferro, Archinist, Agayek, Ash'Ura, oakgem217, Majube, DarthBill
Download Auror ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

Joined:

Aug 6, 2014

Messages:

640

Location:

Adelaide, Australia

High Score:

1918

Aug 24, 2019 #3960

Amphetamine powered.

point09micron, H_A_Greene, Kraken, Odran, Xiph0, Archinist, Ash'Ura, DarthBill, ScottPress

Page 198 of 228

Loading...

Similar Threads

Funny Pics? No Malarkey!

Arthellion, Dec 2, 2019, in forum: The Humor Mill

Replies:

2,155

Views:

510,276

yargle

Mar 25, 2024
Cool Cosplay Pictures Thread

Andrela, Feb 19, 2016, in forum: The Humor Mill

Replies:

213

Views:

85,314

Psychotic Cat

Nov 23, 2021
Official Funny Pics Part 2

Antivash, Jun 2, 2011, in forum: The Humor Mill

Replies:

1,998

Views:

642,764

Oz

Feb 18, 2012
Funny Pictures Thread

madeyemoody, Dec 20, 2006, in forum: The Humor Mill

Replies:

5

Views:

3,913

Dark Minion

Dec 27, 2006
Inspirational Pictures

madeyemoody, Feb 26, 2006, in forum: The Humor Mill

Replies:

7

Views:

8,216

Assassinator_of_Dumbledor

Mar 31, 2006

Not open for further replies.

Search