They have no teeth.

What the hell do teeth have to do with allergies?

 

Teeth have magical properties that can cause allergies, which is why the Tooth Fairy buys the evil things off of you.

Why do Tooth Fairies want to buy such evil things?

 

To aid in their nefarious aims.

What are the Tooth Fairies nefarious aims?

 

They're not nefarious aims - they're dentists stealing childrens' teeth to put in the dentures of old people.

Why would old people want to eat from cavity-ridden, yellow slabs of enamel that are the teeth of children?

 

Because when they use the cavity-ridden, yellow slabs of enamel of adult people think they're compensating for something.

What do people think they're compensating.

 

...eh iono.

Peter, Pickle, Piper, Picked, Peck ... ___?

 

Pecker.

whose?

 

Ginny's

Why does Ginny have a pecker?

 

It was a long and complicated accident involving the Giant Squid, Dumbledore, and wrinkle-fucking.

Why wrinkle-fucking?

 

Because they're all McGonagall has to offer anymore.

Was she hot when she was younger?.

 

Of course, that is why she had freaky snake sex with Tom Riddle who was the Head boy when she was a firsty


Why did Tom go for a firstie?

 

They happen to be quite easy to manipulate, as it were.

Were we all the naive at one point?

 

Yes, yes, yes we were. Then reality called and told us to "Wake the fuck up."

Is it just me or is the world getting more irritable lately?

 

It's not just you.

Did somebody put my roommate in the mircowave?

 

Yes, he'll be cooked in 27 min's.

Why did I not put him in the oven?

 

The brain becomes to rubbery in the oven.

What about the eyes?

 

They turn crispy no matter what method you use.

Is liver an onions any better with human liver?

 

No but it's better with human "onions"

Was that euphamism too subtle?

 

Just a bit.

Could some one please make a chasmic pun?

 

I'm too afraid of being Pun-Ished

How can a pun be like a chasm?