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Funny Pics? No Malarkey!

Discussion in 'The Humor Mill' started by Arthellion, Dec 2, 2019.

: 5/5, 3 votes

Page 6 of 109

pbluekan Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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Dec 18, 2019 #101

lopeck said: ↑

You aren't allowed to cut off parts of plants.
Basically you are not allowed to pick flowers, berries, ect. or cut down a Christmas tree or the like.
Click to expand...

Is cutting down Christmas trees a regular thing that happens in city parks in Russia?

Reclaiming The Remnants | FFN
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Dec 18, 2019 #102

No idea tbh. Just interpreting the sign as a similar one I've seen in the US and Europe.
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Dec 18, 2019 #103

Magnum said: ↑

How did a cruel bully like you become a mod?
Click to expand...

Fics: What's the Story Morning Glory (WBA) (FFN) | The Revenge of Harry Potter (WBA) | Draco's Adventure (FFN) (WBA) | Desiccation(FFN) | Upside Down (FFN) | Food Related (Ask a Chef)
Wanna Sprint? Join Us, Rules Here.

Work By Author Rules Here, Review Board Rules Here

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Dec 18, 2019 #104

Zombie said: ↑

Click to expand...

"And why does my tea taste funny?"

________________________________________

Before the Death Eaters. Before Voldemort. Before Tom Riddle. Before Grindewald. Before Harry Potter. There was Albus.

Albus
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Dec 18, 2019 #105

lopeck said: ↑

You aren't allowed to cut off parts of plants.
Basically you are not allowed to pick flowers, berries, ect. or cut down a Christmas tree or the like.
Click to expand...

I feel like there’s a wide gap between picking a flower and cutting down a Christmas tree...
Longsword Banned

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Dec 19, 2019 #106

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Dec 19, 2019 #107

Amphetamine powered.

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Dec 19, 2019 #108

You know you're something when you can line up Arthellion, DR, and Vlad [RIP] on the same side ~ Nazgus

Arthellion Delenda Est -DLP

Scene: a fairly average cemetery, basking in the last rays of the mid-autumn sun, 70 F and not a cloud in the sky. A man, nondescript, wearing sunglasses that were popular several summers ago, but were more likely picked up after that fact, opens a gate that has seen better days. Miraculously, no metal whine occurs as he does so. All the same, he leaves it open, though whether it is out of fear of the grating sound or out of negligence is unclear.

He moves with less purpose than usually seen. It is as if he is looking for someone, but, being unfamiliar with this particular cemetery, he is momentarily lost. Yet soon, he finds a trail, and picks up the pace, moving with purpose to end up in front of one of the most recent graves. He takes in the sight: flowers, lack of tombstone - it is too recent a passing - and the wooden plate with engraving that serves as it for now. He lowers his head, offering a silent prayer, or perhaps thoughts, before leaving something of his own.

It is an engraved piece of wood, similar to the tombstone, but smaller, and far more intricate. Eagle-eyed viewers easily make out the sloth hidden behind, but the circle and large stripe across make no sense to people not in the know. As it should be. After that, the man leaves. Yet, those closeby might hear a whisper on the wind. "Finally, Arthellion is banned."

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Dec 20, 2019 #109

Amphetamine powered.

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Dec 20, 2019 #110

Rep's guide to Fanfiction success:
Step 1) Find obscure/empty fandom.
Step 2) Write a decent, not-terrible fic.
Step 3) Declare yourself best in the fandom.
Step 4) Bask.

My life, for Aiur...
... For the Alliance
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Dec 21, 2019 #111

"Everything about you seems like Chaotic Evil. " -Majube, pronounced Mah-jew-bay

Rookwood on Blood Purism

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Dec 21, 2019 #112

"It all averages out, shit happens two to three times a week, ordinary people do it in the median." Tim Dorsey, "Orange Crush"

Unknown, Oment, oakgem217
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Dec 22, 2019 #113

Faith.

I don't know when you gave it up, lost child. Were you never loved when you were young? Did a woman spurn you, or did the system beat you down? What hardships drove you, controlled you, until you came before me today?

It's hard to keep faith when I see children like you, broken and despoiled, then tossed aside when their purpose is finished. Oh yes, my boy, you're hardly the first ringleader I've seen down here, and you might yet not be the last. You’re full of fire and fury, just like all the ones before, but you and I both know that it’s a hollow feeling. There’s a faith-sized hole in your heart, and no amount of Warp-spawn will fill it.

You don’t have faith in the Imperium. You don’t have faith in your fellow man. You can’t even believe in love, or hope, or joy and despair that doesn’t come from an alien abomination. You can’t see the ocean of corruption, yet you’re drowning in it. You’re lost in the wilderness, little child, and only you and the Emperor can know how deep you’ve sunk.

Other lost children have asked me why I stay. Minister of a sad little church, shepard of a tiny flock, drowning in the greed and corruption from above - I’m just one man. I stand here fighting a battle already lost, with the hive in flames, the Governor and his cronies dead, and the black ships standing watch above. Perhaps there is no point to this mad universe; mayhaps it truly is a galaxy spinning adrift from rhyme or reason.

Yet the Emperor, for all his power, was just one man. Horus the Betrayer, Saint Sebastian Thor, and even humble Ollanius Pius were all just men. You are one man, as am I. Each of us may be saints or sinners, as we make of the lives given us.

I look at you, strong in Warp-borne mutations and diseases, and all I can see is weakness. You were so frail that when hardship bore down on you, and when this harsh reality sunk its claws in, you bargained your immortal soul away for relief from a little pain. Your physical strength cannot hide your spiritual weakness: where better men stood fast and died proudly, you sold out your Emperor and your fellow man for your worthless life.

So come fight me, lost children. We’ve all made our choices, and now those choices have made us. I shall bring you into His light with cleansing flame and prayers, and redeem us all in death. Come one or come all, you shall not put a foot into this hallowed ground while I still draw breath.

For I have faith, and that is enough.

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Dec 22, 2019 #114

FFN | DLP | ???

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Dec 22, 2019 #115

"Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit." - Oscar Wilde

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Dec 23, 2019 #116

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Dec 23, 2019 #117

raccoon chonk is undoubtedly the best

startrekfan said: ↑

Click to expand...

Ash'Ura
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Dec 23, 2019 #118

Tiger chonk. Fite me.

Rep's guide to Fanfiction success:
Step 1) Find obscure/empty fandom.
Step 2) Write a decent, not-terrible fic.
Step 3) Declare yourself best in the fandom.
Step 4) Bask.

My life, for Aiur...
... For the Alliance
Steam Profile.

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Dec 23, 2019 #119

Republic said: ↑

Tiger chonk. Fite me.
Click to expand...

Consider yourself both @'d and fought.

FOX CHONK FTW

"WHO KNOWS WHAT EVIL LURKS IN THE HEART OF MEN?"
The Death of Rats looked up from the feast of the potato. "SQUEAK," he said.
Death waved a hand dismissively. "WELL, YES, OBVIOUSLY ME," he said. "I JUST WONDERED IF THERE WAS ANYONE ELSE."

Unknown
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Dec 23, 2019 #120

I'll see you peasants in the ocean. Oh, wait.

Have Australian citizenship, will sham marriage for $$$.

Captain Westeros - MCU/ASoIaF
One man with a shield makes his impact on Planetos. A leviathan task, but Steve Rogers is used to challenges.

THORHAMMER - MCU/Warhammer Fantasy
Thor Odinson is accustomed to landing in strange new worlds. To others, a shocking change. To him? A Thorsday.

Rise - Fable
Orphan boy to Hero of Albion. Cruelty begets vengeance; from struggle comes strength. The Archon's bloodline still has power.

I have a Patreon. Join to read my original short stories and get a vote in what I write each week.

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