I have now, cleaning it up a bit (changing 'the author' to 'you' and removing some of the needless profanity) just to make it less potentially abrasive. I'll let you know if he responds anywhere.

 

Does he read critical reviews?

 

With his arrogance, probably not. But one can try.

 

Update: he did respond. Spoilers because he does actually hint at a spoiler in the response itself, although a very mild one.

Spoiler

First of all, thank you for your comments and criticisms. I do hope you continue to enjoy POS in the future even if the next few chapters are not too your liking. The point of this story arc (and in many ways, all of Death Eater Menace) was always going to be a meta-commentary on Prisoner of Azkaban, which I have summarized in the past as "Harry bumbles around all year because people conceal information from him for contrived reasons and then, at the end, everything goes horribly wrong, but it's okay because Hermione has a time machine." And I think, if you've read POA and have also read POS up to this point, the introduction of the TT as a deus ex machina shouldn't be too much of a surprise, and to be honest, I'm surprised more people didn't anticipate it. (Quite a few people on my discord server did, in fact.) My approach to the TT was also an opportunity to do an homage to several stories I like in which Harry or another character travels back in time to alter an unpleasant future in exactly this manner. From your review, I take it you don't like stories of that genre, so I understand why you might not like this development.

Also from your review, I get the impression you're unhappy that Harry and other characters will not be suffering to the extent you think appropriate. I understand that viewpoint, but I also feel that, in canon, Year 3 was the last year the Harry Potter story was essentially an optimistic one where the child protagonist can escape danger without any serious losses before the grim-dark set in with the Tournament and Voldie's resurrection. POS, while darker than canon, will continue that general arc. That said, if it helps, there /will/ be fatalities before the end of DEM that will arguably be the result of Harry's decision to alter history in order to save his friends, including at least one person who is important to Harry. Whether you find that to balance the scales, I don't know.

Please feel free to respond if you wish to discuss this more, but you should know that the next 2 1/2 chapters are already written and I do not anticipate significantly changing the sequence of events. Cheers.

I guess I'll wait and see on the next few chapters. I dont like the idea that it's a meta-commentary on the books themselves though, seems very subjective and loose with regards to his perspective on the books (who would describe PoA the same way as him btw? Not me). I dont anticipate enjoying the time turner centred chapters, but hopefully it doesnt weigh the rest of the fic down.

 

This story just frustrates me immensely. There's things that make me want to press on, but it's dying under it's own weight and the author seems unwilling to trim the fat. Why write 10,000+ word chapters that go nowhere and don't do anything?

 

Oh, yeah, that was definitely the vibe I got the time I binged the story in one go up to chapter 120. It does make sense, I had forgotten. Note to self: do remember what this is about.

 

Spoiler: Spoiler?

Went to the author's discord to ask if he's really going to save everyone from dying with the Time-Turner.

The author confirmed that two people are going to die in the new timeline. He and his mods were actively deleting any messages that suggested that Regulus was going to die again, so I think we all know what that could possibly mean. TSM did say, however, that Marcus Flint makes it out of this alive, no matter what. Also said something about how he intends to make the Dreamscapes arc a little more relevant to the story now, and a new chapter he posted shows Harry using Legillimency on a transformed Remus. I think it's smart for him to tie in the most boring, unnecessarily long and tedious arc in the story to the main plot, but if Harry somehow *kills* the Beast and cures Remus from his lycanthropy, I'll be seriously disappointed

 

Remember that this brand of time turner carries the author's voice to the time traveler. Logic need not apply, just do as your TT says.

 

Sorry, I forgot the spoiler tag. I thought that an author posting fanfic on their own website for critiques before they post it on FFN isn't that different from them posting it in WBA, so I wrote about it here.

Definitely should've put it in a spoiler though.

 

This story is at times brilliant, however there are a few fundamental issues which concern me.

The main issue is the pacing. We're approaching 1 million words and we haven't even reached Year 4 yet. I understand the author wants full immersion into this world he has created and fully fleshed out characters. However, there comes a point where there is just too much going on, too many people to keep track of; this story has reached that point. For example:

Spoiler: Third Book Spoilers

When Marcus Flint dies, the moment is supposed to be emotional. However, with the sheer number of main characters in this story, I found myself not really caring at all. The point of this scene not being emotional also leads on to my second concern.

Harry always wins. There aren't any consequences for his actions, ever. Nobody close to him has died, none of his plans have failed in a catastrophic way. This was true up until the events in the Shrieking Shack, which would have been a pivotal moment in which Harry truly loses. The death of Regulus would have set him back greatly. The loss of the influence of House Longbottom in the Wizengamot would have been bad too, along with the loss of influence over his house due to the US. Harry would have Remus' death on his conscious too. Instead, the author uses a cheap cop-out of time travel. This would have been fine, if it wasn't for the fact that everything went Harry's way this time. Even if some of the consequences had been avoided but Harry still had the US on him, or lost Regulus and Remus, he would still have to face the consequences. However none of that happened and everything has gone his way. He even cured lycanthropy this time!

Another issue with this story is the prologue. Having a sense of direction with a story is great! However, establishing what will happen at the end of 4th year before the first chapter has even been posted was a bad move. The story has in many ways steered away from this prologue, such as:

Spoiler

Harry reconciling with Jim.

And the attempts to reverse these changes are contrived. The Sinister Man would be better of removing the prologue and adapting his plan.

 

Well...I thought I was having a stroke when I started to read that chapter, or that the author had just given up and decided to piss about.

 

Yeah... I'm done with this fic.

The author's head is too far up his own ass. His story has become a parody of what it was with absolutely no consequences for Harry. Harry is a god awful gary sue who is annoying to read about. This late april fools joke should have been dropped. It was beyond stupid.