I don't think anything I'll ever find will be able to top this.

Harry Potter and the Weasley Sissy by Shaper733 reviews
Harry Potter is taken in by the Weasley family before second year and given love in a hypermasculine magical environment. This leads Harry, like all others joining the family to become more feminine and become a sissy for the family. Bimbofication, femininization, D/S, and lots of anal ensue. Harry/Weasleys/Hermione.
Rated: M - English - Fantasy/Parody - Chapters: 9 - Words: 18,901 - Reviews: 24 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 78 - Updated: 5h ago - Published: Dec 31, 2019 - Harry P., Hermione G., Molly W.

 

It reads as if that is supposed to be a logical conclusion.

 

I was wrong.

Daddy's Girl by dwinchester'sgirl88 reviews
Harry wanted to be a girl, Vernon was okay with that. Petunia left them and took Dudley. After a while Harry develops feelings for Vernon and wants to be Daddy's Girl. Harry does everything possible to show Vernon that she can be a good one and that she can replace Petunia in Vernon's life, heart and eventually his bed.
Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 17,728 - Reviews: 2 - Favs: 18 - Follows: 12 - Published: 22h ago - Harry P., Vernon D. - Complete

 

That is maximum cursed right there. I can't even.

 

Can anyone understand this word salad?

Harry Potter and The Crimson Fiery by TheBlueMoonRose
Author: Jess Lynn/ Slytherinjess DA / TheBlueMoonRose Fanfic MadHasAHatter WattPad (All me) Rating: M Pairings: HarryxOC slightly/ TomRiddleVoldemortxOC Important Warnings: Bad Language, Violence, (scenes of a sexual nature) Time Travel, Jealous Ginny, OCS, Two Reincarnations Disclaimer: We do not own ANY trademarks of 'Harry Potter'. They belong to J.K. Rowling and Warner
Rated: M - English - Friendship/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 8,175 - Favs: 1 - Published: 16h ago - Harry P., Tom R. Jr., OC

 

What's the fic even about ffs? Someone should have told them that FFN doesn't use tags.

 

What the fuck is this supposed to be?
--- Post automerged ---

I don't even...

 

LOL indeed.

 

Snarry? Underage? Tasteful? Does not compute.

 

Wtf summary did I just read there? Where's Lockhart when you need him?

 

I'm sure this makes perfect sense to it's target audience, tweens that only read stuff exactly like this.

 

This was on the first page of most favourited Kim Possible fics on ff.net.

kimmie's a what? by chubi6328 reviews
kimmie's got kitty instict guess who her chosen mate is. kigo
Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 49,868 - Reviews: 334 - Favs: 695 - Follows: 486 - Updated: Dec 12, 2009 - Published: Aug 19, 2009 - Kim P., Shego

 

They were doing so well up until the post scriptum.

 

"hot man sex" Just say slash FFS. Though with the "I'm not very good at synopsis" warning my expectations aren't that high.

 

Well, to be fair, my expectations took a tumble when I saw the 'beating Dumbledore at his own game' part. I don't have a problem when authors try to question Dumbledore's methods, but this kind of summary suggests:

- OP Harry at some point.

- Idiot Dumbles.

- Varying degrees of Edgelord and/or Indy!Harry.

- Weasley bashing (because it usually comes with Dumbles bashing).

- Probably Hermione bashing, given that Harry's looking for revenge on everyone who had 'forsaken' him.

- Probably Snape and Malfoy whitewashing, with a pinch (or more) of possible Drarry, Harrymort, Tomarry, Lucius/Harry, or whatever else have you.

- Probably some kind of Goblin Nation wank at some point.

- 'Hadrian', perhaps? Maybe hyphenated surnames?

- Lords and Ladies?

I haven't actually opened the fic, but I've seen enough of 'these' kinds of Peggy Sue stories to guess what I'm in for. That's not to say all Time Travel fics are bad, though.

 

Biggest concern is what type of slash is going to come out of a fic where Harry is a 26yr old in a 10yr old body.

Smh

 

The summary itself isn't bad, but what's up with some of those character tags? What's the point of doing that to the characters in the first place?

 

The summary isn't particularly brilliant (especially the "I did NOT spell check" part), but it's not the summary that caught my attention here, it's the stats. Twenty four thousand words in three hundred and twenty five chapters. Averaging seventy-four words per chapter. Holy shit.

This is what I get for sorting FF.net by update date.