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Funny Pics? No Malarkey!

Discussion in 'The Humor Mill' started by Arthellion, Dec 2, 2019.

: 5/5, 3 votes

Page 41 of 111

Silirt Chief Warlock DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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Jul 1, 2020 #801

"Everything about you seems like Chaotic Evil. " -Majube, pronounced Mah-jew-bay

Rookwood on Blood Purism

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Jul 2, 2020 #802

Uncle Iroh said:

While it always best to believe in oneself, a little help from others can be a great blessing.
Click to expand...

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Jul 2, 2020 #803

DLP Dynasty Football League spreadsheet

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Archinist Hαn Sαlsæd First

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Jul 2, 2020 #804

Faith.

I don't know when you gave it up, lost child. Were you never loved when you were young? Did a woman spurn you, or did the system beat you down? What hardships drove you, controlled you, until you came before me today?

It's hard to keep faith when I see children like you, broken and despoiled, then tossed aside when their purpose is finished. Oh yes, my boy, you're hardly the first ringleader I've seen down here, and you might yet not be the last. You’re full of fire and fury, just like all the ones before, but you and I both know that it’s a hollow feeling. There’s a faith-sized hole in your heart, and no amount of Warp-spawn will fill it.

You don’t have faith in the Imperium. You don’t have faith in your fellow man. You can’t even believe in love, or hope, or joy and despair that doesn’t come from an alien abomination. You can’t see the ocean of corruption, yet you’re drowning in it. You’re lost in the wilderness, little child, and only you and the Emperor can know how deep you’ve sunk.

Other lost children have asked me why I stay. Minister of a sad little church, shepard of a tiny flock, drowning in the greed and corruption from above - I’m just one man. I stand here fighting a battle already lost, with the hive in flames, the Governor and his cronies dead, and the black ships standing watch above. Perhaps there is no point to this mad universe; mayhaps it truly is a galaxy spinning adrift from rhyme or reason.

Yet the Emperor, for all his power, was just one man. Horus the Betrayer, Saint Sebastian Thor, and even humble Ollanius Pius were all just men. You are one man, as am I. Each of us may be saints or sinners, as we make of the lives given us.

I look at you, strong in Warp-borne mutations and diseases, and all I can see is weakness. You were so frail that when hardship bore down on you, and when this harsh reality sunk its claws in, you bargained your immortal soul away for relief from a little pain. Your physical strength cannot hide your spiritual weakness: where better men stood fast and died proudly, you sold out your Emperor and your fellow man for your worthless life.

So come fight me, lost children. We’ve all made our choices, and now those choices have made us. I shall bring you into His light with cleansing flame and prayers, and redeem us all in death. Come one or come all, you shall not put a foot into this hallowed ground while I still draw breath.

For I have faith, and that is enough.

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MonkeyEpoxy The Cursed Child DLP Supporter

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Jul 5, 2020 #805

DLP Dynasty Football League spreadsheet

Redsayn, Xiph0, pbluekan, Zenzao, Ash'Ura, oakgem217, Lamora, The Iron Rose, FlyingOctopus, Othalan, Zerg_Lurker, Nevermind, Download, DarthBill, Feoffic
Cjonbloodletter Professor

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Jul 5, 2020 #806

"It all averages out, shit happens two to three times a week, ordinary people do it in the median." Tim Dorsey, "Orange Crush"

Archinist, pbluekan, Longsword, ScottPress, Zilly Sawdust, Ash'Ura, Zerg_Lurker, Download, Oruma, LittleChicago, FlyingOctopus, oakgem217, Othalan, Nevermind
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Wouldn't you like to know...

Jul 6, 2020 #807

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Jul 6, 2020 #808

Not gonna lie, we made dart-gun mousetraps in middle school shop class. Never used successfully, but we still made them.

Louisiana everybody.

Also, I submit for your amusement, the 1862 Mouse cannon.

Last edited: Jul 6, 2020
Archinist Hαn Sαlsæd First

Messages:

485

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Holy Terra

Jul 7, 2020 #809

Faith.

I don't know when you gave it up, lost child. Were you never loved when you were young? Did a woman spurn you, or did the system beat you down? What hardships drove you, controlled you, until you came before me today?

It's hard to keep faith when I see children like you, broken and despoiled, then tossed aside when their purpose is finished. Oh yes, my boy, you're hardly the first ringleader I've seen down here, and you might yet not be the last. You’re full of fire and fury, just like all the ones before, but you and I both know that it’s a hollow feeling. There’s a faith-sized hole in your heart, and no amount of Warp-spawn will fill it.

You don’t have faith in the Imperium. You don’t have faith in your fellow man. You can’t even believe in love, or hope, or joy and despair that doesn’t come from an alien abomination. You can’t see the ocean of corruption, yet you’re drowning in it. You’re lost in the wilderness, little child, and only you and the Emperor can know how deep you’ve sunk.

Other lost children have asked me why I stay. Minister of a sad little church, shepard of a tiny flock, drowning in the greed and corruption from above - I’m just one man. I stand here fighting a battle already lost, with the hive in flames, the Governor and his cronies dead, and the black ships standing watch above. Perhaps there is no point to this mad universe; mayhaps it truly is a galaxy spinning adrift from rhyme or reason.

Yet the Emperor, for all his power, was just one man. Horus the Betrayer, Saint Sebastian Thor, and even humble Ollanius Pius were all just men. You are one man, as am I. Each of us may be saints or sinners, as we make of the lives given us.

I look at you, strong in Warp-borne mutations and diseases, and all I can see is weakness. You were so frail that when hardship bore down on you, and when this harsh reality sunk its claws in, you bargained your immortal soul away for relief from a little pain. Your physical strength cannot hide your spiritual weakness: where better men stood fast and died proudly, you sold out your Emperor and your fellow man for your worthless life.

So come fight me, lost children. We’ve all made our choices, and now those choices have made us. I shall bring you into His light with cleansing flame and prayers, and redeem us all in death. Come one or come all, you shall not put a foot into this hallowed ground while I still draw breath.

For I have faith, and that is enough.

Redsayn, Utsane, Ash'Ura, Kraken, point09micron, Cjonbloodletter, oakgem217, Genghiz Khan, Acquiescing Avian, Odran, Arthellion, ScottPress, Othalan
MonkeyEpoxy The Cursed Child DLP Supporter

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Jul 9, 2020 #810

DLP Dynasty Football League spreadsheet

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Ash'Ura Totally Sirius

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Jul 9, 2020 #811

Uncle Iroh said:

While it always best to believe in oneself, a little help from others can be a great blessing.
Click to expand...

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Silirt Chief Warlock DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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Jul 9, 2020 #812

"Everything about you seems like Chaotic Evil. " -Majube, pronounced Mah-jew-bay

Rookwood on Blood Purism

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Newcomb Minister of Magic

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Jul 9, 2020 #813

FFN | DLP | ???

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MonkeyEpoxy The Cursed Child DLP Supporter

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Jul 10, 2020 #814

DLP Dynasty Football League spreadsheet

pbluekan, The Iron Rose, Zenzao, Oz, KHAAAAAAAN!!, FlyingOctopus, Kravot, Utsane, oakgem217, Acquiescing Avian, Zerg_Lurker, Ash'Ura, Othalan, ScottPress, Nevermind, Myduraz, DarthBill
Nevermind Minister of Magic

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Jul 10, 2020 #815

Embrace the Pandemonium.

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Jul 12, 2020 #816

Amphetamine powered.

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TheWiseTomato Prestigious Tomato ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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Jul 12, 2020 #817

Wow fuck that question.

Have Australian citizenship, will sham marriage for $$$.

Captain Westeros - MCU/ASoIaF
One man with a shield makes his impact on Planetos. A leviathan task, but Steve Rogers is used to challenges.

THORHAMMER - MCU/Warhammer Fantasy
Thor Odinson is accustomed to landing in strange new worlds. To others, a shocking change. To him? A Thorsday.

Rise - Fable
Orphan boy to Hero of Albion. Cruelty begets vengeance; from struggle comes strength. The Archon's bloodline still has power.

I have a Patreon. Join to read my original short stories and get a vote in what I write each week.

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Jul 12, 2020 #818

TheWiseTomato said: ↑

Wow fuck that question.
Click to expand...

Takes you a couple of minutes doesn't it?

Blorcyn said:

I don’t meant to say he’s a poof or mawkish.
He’s just really really nice.
And his butthole is like a glove.
Where I thought it would be a draughty wind tunnel.
Click to expand...

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MonkeyEpoxy The Cursed Child DLP Supporter

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Jul 12, 2020 #819

DLP Dynasty Football League spreadsheet

Archinist, Acquiescing Avian, Quiddity, Utsane, Kraken, Ash'Ura, DarthBill, The Iron Rose, Zenzao, DR, ScottPress, Zerg_Lurker, Psychotic Cat, oakgem217
TheWiseTomato Prestigious Tomato ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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Jul 12, 2020 #820

Genghiz Khan said: ↑

Takes you a couple of minutes doesn't it?
Click to expand...

What do you mean 'a couple of minutes'? There's no answer, right??

Have Australian citizenship, will sham marriage for $$$.

Captain Westeros - MCU/ASoIaF
One man with a shield makes his impact on Planetos. A leviathan task, but Steve Rogers is used to challenges.

THORHAMMER - MCU/Warhammer Fantasy
Thor Odinson is accustomed to landing in strange new worlds. To others, a shocking change. To him? A Thorsday.

Rise - Fable
Orphan boy to Hero of Albion. Cruelty begets vengeance; from struggle comes strength. The Archon's bloodline still has power.

I have a Patreon. Join to read my original short stories and get a vote in what I write each week.

(You must log in or sign up to reply here.)

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Funny Pics? No Malarkey!

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Hi there, Guest

Funny Pics? No Malarkey!

Silirt Chief Warlock DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

Ash'Ura Totally Sirius

MonkeyEpoxy The Cursed Child DLP Supporter

Archinist Hαn Sαlsæd First

MonkeyEpoxy The Cursed Child DLP Supporter

Cjonbloodletter Professor

startrekfan Second Year

KHAAAAAAAN!! Troll in the Dungeon –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

Archinist Hαn Sαlsæd First

MonkeyEpoxy The Cursed Child DLP Supporter

Ash'Ura Totally Sirius

Silirt Chief Warlock DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

Newcomb Minister of Magic

MonkeyEpoxy The Cursed Child DLP Supporter

Nevermind Minister of Magic

Download Auror ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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