Eh, who else are you going to pair Harry up with? He has like no chemistry with anyone.

May as well be Tonks. Sure beats the millions of snoozefest Harry/Ginny, or self righteous Harry/Hermione fics out there.

 

I do actually know a RL couple like that (well, the guy was 17, but close enough). The key detail is that it was initially a rebound after a messy breakup for the girl, and the relationship was thoroughly unhealthy for the first few years. They stayed together for all the wrong reasons (the girl had no idea how to end a relationship; the guy thought that ending a relationship with a hot mature woman would obviously be a mistake regardless of how miserable the relationship made him). It wasn't until the guy graduated from college and they both had full-time jobs that it started to resemble a healthy relationship.

I don't think Harry/Tonks is such a terrible pairing that it automatically ruins the story or anything, and I can certainly see the appeal. I just don't think it works very well as it's usually written.

 

I understand the MILF appeal, but when it gets to characters like Bellatrix, who are in full possession of manipulative abilities/magic, you need to draw a line. In a serious story with realistic characters, these issues might come to light.

 

I mean I do like the canon pairings, but I can see I wouldn't get anywhere with that.

I can see Harry with a Quidditch girl - Katie, Angelina, Alicia, etc. He bonded with Cho over that, and he seemed to get along very well with the original Quidditch team. I can also see him with Tonks - he seems to find her funny and interesting, and they too bonded over broomsticks. She's just a tad too old for him, so it would have to be well after he left Hogwarts.

I can't see him with Luna because he just finds her too weird and I think he needs someone fairly grounded. I also don't think you can ever be with someone if you don't truly respect them, and he doesn't take any of her theories or conspiracies seriously. People always say they have something in common in both losing parents, but it was in entirely different circumstances and loss alone isn't enough to bond people imo. I also can't see him with any of the other Gryffindor girls as he seems to find them irritating.

 

As with anything that you write into a fic, there's the possibility of making a good fic come of it. You could have 16 year old Harry get with 23 year old Tonks, and have to deal with the blow up of the rest of the Order making accusations about her, his friends 50/50 congratulating him and suggesting he's being used etc. You could write a solid piece of plot around it. And that, to my mind, is the only reason to include any pairing - the ability to use that pairing to develop your plot. Does your plot benefit from the internal cohesion of the Order being weakened, and from Harry pushing away some of his friends and mentors? If so, then this would be a solid way to go about achieving it.

 

For the tonks thing. Ive had this convo before. I mean look its all fiction so write whatever you want.

But not only is there an age gap, but she is also an authority figure. Some sort of cross between law-enforcement and bodyguard. So in a lot of the fics where harry is still in school and she starts sleeping with him?

I mean IRL we'd all be decrying that. If some female cop (and I get an auror isnt exactly a cop but it is law enforcement) was sleeping with a 15 or 16 year old H.S student that would be a problem. Both because of the age gap and because they are supposed to be a trusted adult looking out for kids.

Again theres weirder things in fanfic so long as you dont make it too skeevy whatever. I'm sure there are some well written tonks/harry and you can just put aside the moral question because its fiction.

But the people who argue with me that it is perfectly MORAL in a real life sense (and i once had that argument on here with some dlp folks) i look at oddly.

 

As is so very, very often the case, OP is a nonce.

 

Perhaps if your going for a disturbing angle in this pairing then I'm cool. Just seems weird that Tonks is at least 24/23/22 and Harry is only 14/15/16 in these Harry/Tonks fics. It would be an issue in the wizarding world. That she is an old girl trying to corrupt a very young boy especially its not just anyone but Harry Potter.

 

Ok, let me flip this back at you. Why are you calling out Harry/Tonks here? You could call out literally any pairing that has an older and a younger party in it, and there's loads of those across the HP fandom. Harry/Tonks went through a brief period of being the pairing maybe 10-12 years ago, and perhaps its making a come back and thats where you're seeing it more? But it seems a bit weird that you're calling it out specifically.

Is it alright for fiction to portray in a positive light things that are illegal or immoral in modern society? Thats a question that everyone is going to have a different answer to, but it is the question at the root of whether its ok to write those pairings.

 

You do realize that there are countries where adult making moves on 14 year old kid as is Harry is considered a pedophilia, no matter if she isn't trying to corrupt him or not? To be honest the implications are disturbing considering she is part of the order and supposed to protecting him. And she would be abusing her authority having a relationship with him? Thats why this pairing has always disturbed me. In every one of these fics Harry/Tonks relationship issues are never brought to light and they have a relationship with no problem. I would love to see a fic that adresses how messed up it is. I would then honestly enjoy it if someone just wrote how disturbing and messed up a Harry/Tonks relationship would be and the consequences that both would face.

 

Lets be honest the older relationship like Harry/Bellatrix, Harry/Narcissa etc are not even realistic a bit. In real life I have never seen a 40 year old date a 15 year old as these fics have it. Then the other relationships you have of Harry are all of his. Only Fleur is few years older than him and thats not a problem. Harry/Tonks is the one which strikes the grey area here. Considering its neither too old or young to be unrealistic and basically you have high school kid have a relationship with Auror 7 years older than him as part of the Order just sends all the wrong signals. Maybe this thread is just my frustration that no one Harry/Tonks fic I read ever adresses this issue.

 

Honestly the weirdest one is when Voldemort is involved with Harry when there's like a 50 year age difference? Like there's probably a way to engineer a way for Tom Riddle to be your love interest, why do you need to make the 70 year old man version of him romantically involved with a teenager?

 

I don't think age difference is the biggest problem of the Harry/Voldemort pairing.

 

Honestly there is not a huge issue with the Harry/Tonks pairing.

You are essentially casting judgement on a relationship that isn't even defined, what is the context of their relationship, and how did they come to be involved etc etc, and even then you aren't part of it, if they are both over the age of consent, and consenting, well you really have no right to cast judgement.

And if we really want to cast stones on fictional relationships of fictional characters written by fanfiction authors there are far worse ones, like I dunno, Harry getting porked by a man forty years his senior, murdered his parents, and is a rampant psychopath. Or his criminal godfather, or his parents friend who has lycanthropy, or maybe the school headmaster who is ten times his age.

Also, does the word cougar mean anything to you.

 

Those parings aren't right realistically or morally but that doesn't make Harry/Tonks any less squick. Tonks being 7 years older than him would realistically hold a elder sister role to him even canon points that to their relationship with friendly banter older sister type she has. I don't think Dumbledore, McGonagall or any of the authority figures would approve. Shit Tonks is the authority figure supposed to be protecting him not abusing his trust entrapping him in a relationship for personal gain. Come on Harry is not old enough to know he shouldn't be in a relationship with a women 7 years older than him even if 16 is the age of consent and its not healthy for him. I think even Harry/Fleur might rise a few eyebrows as few might think she is old for him considering him he is 14 and she is 17 in GOF. And Harry/Tonks just takes it to another level. There is a reason age gap relationships are not healthy especially for a teenager like Harry. You see an example with Hermione herself who is almost an year older than him and he doesn't match her maturity. Never mind 3 years old Fleur or 7 years older Tonks. Why specifically these relationships? Because they are realistic and could happen unlike the 25 year older relationships that don't happen in the real world. I think fanfic authors need to ask themselves why they keep forgetting Harry is a teenage boy and keeping pairing him older people who are not healthy for him. Its not just teenage writers but even 30 year old plus mature authors write like that. An example would be jbern. His Lie I've Lived is the most pretentious fic I read where Harry a 14 year old boy sleeps with 18 year olds. And Jbern himself is of 50 years plus and a published author but never does consent or pedophilia ever cross his mind.

And no Tonks is too young to be a cougar.

 

Out of curiosity would you continue to have an issue with the pairing if the fic had Harry as an 18 year old, and Tonks as a 27 year old?

 

He would have to be atleast 21 for it to even work. Anything under would fail. Then again considering how long wizards can live a age gaps is probably not even a thing in the wizarding world. I think the best Harry/Tonks fic I have read is the R series by Regulus where she was degaded to his age and felt right and even then the relationship was messy as hell.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11364705/1/Barefoot

Anyway this is the fic which triggered me. A nineteen year old Tonks preying on a 13 year old Harry in this story. I read up to the point where Tonks started sleeping naked with him and quit.