That's the age for an ideal wife, not the floor for creepiness. It's just the poors misunderstanding the drippings of culture that fall from above once more.

 

Wrong fandom, go back to Dresden Files.

 

Lol...

Oh I'm absolutely in the right fandom my man.
Harry/Molly Weasley all the way.

I can recc you soem awesome fics...
Most of them are smut... but they good... XD

 

An absolute man of the people is what I say you are.

 

True and my main Pairing of Hermione/Dumbledore is one I'll defend to the death.

 

I just wanna say this is my new favorite thread, and this guy nailed it.

It really is that simple.

 

Is it really a Harry Potter if hasn't banged the local Milf bar owner into the tabletop?

 

I spent the day thinking about it and decided I'll write a Harry/Tonks story.

It will start with Harry time travelling by accident so he's the same age as Tonks. He then just tells Dumbledore everything that happens and he runs off to go deal with that canon plot stuff. Harry then runs into Tonks and it leads to them dating and smutting about. Smutting is a word, right?

 

That's a pretty interesting beginning. I like that kinda of stories and everything which can be related to the Harry Potter's world. So that I love quizes and hogwarts sorting hat quiz which I could find recently - one of the best, in my opinion. I could tested my erudition and how great I know different facts about Harry Potter.

 

Rather than speak to her directly, Dumbledore addressed his collection of spinning and whirring trinkets, which likely explained at least a portion of his visitor's current frustration.

"And why would Harry need my approval in this matter, Molly? My success as regards direct intervention in his affairs is, if I am being charitable, around 50/50. I think we can safely leave this decision in his sufficiently capable hands.

"Rest assured, if I suspected Nymphadora harbored any ill intent toward Mr. Potter she would not have been invited into the Order nor stood guard outside his summer residence, much less been allowed into a position to engage in any form of courtship with him."

Molly smoldered in obvious dissatisfaction with the elder wizard's apparent lack of concern or, more accurately, his failure to echo her feelings on the issue in question.

"He's a schoolboy and she is an adult auror! She is on a fundamentally different level from him."

"You are correct, of course. Nymphadora is an auror -if fresh from training- and a member of an elite division of our law enforcement system, raised in the unenviable and less than forgiving circumstance of being the halfblood daughter of a literal outcast. As such, she may be a smidgen too naive and unseasoned to cope with the world in which Harry lives but, providing she survives, the experience should serve her well in her chosen vocation."

"Albus, this is not a laughing matter!"

He sighed, but if Molly detected the weariness in the aged headmaster's tone, she gave no indication of it.

"It's not normal; people will talk. The age difference alone-"

"Is far from insurmountable: Scarcely daunting, compared to their other concerns. And if you have not noticed, people always talk: Especially about Harry. The baseless maundering of the press, the public at large, and his own peers is a cross which Harry has borne steadfastly, if not enthusiastically, on more than one occasion; and for far less enjoyable reasons than a girlfriend who, I dare say, would readily help him cope with the unwanted attention.

"I do not exaggerate when I say that Harry's life has not been a happy one: Rarely normal even by Wizarding standards, all too frequently turbulent, and displaying an increasing likelihood of ending far too early. If an innocent romantic entanglement with an endearingly sophomoric and undexterous, shape-shifting, auror is what helps the young man hold things together for another year -and in a more convivial fashion than the preceding ones- it would be a distinct pleasure to offer my endorsement, though I would reiterate that they have no need of it."

It was with a brief soupçon of satisfaction that Dumbledore witnessed Molly's hand wringing, the intended result of his allusion to the potential brevity of Harry's lifespan. He had long ago made his peace with the manner in which he 'handled' people; if twisting the metaphorical knife caused Molly to relent in her tiresome and incessant protestations, even a little, he would consider the emotional manipulation to be currency well spent.

Molly Weasely, however, could be exceedingly stubborn. Pulling her head into her shoulders like a broody hen, she huffed, "I trust I don't need to remind you whose family she is."

Dumbledore nodded in agreement. "Indeed you do not. I am, of course, assuming you are not referring to her muggleborn father as the deleterious factor."

"Albus! I would never-"

"In that case, given that I have twice alluded to it already, I trust I do not need to remind you to whom her mother is married and what that decision cost her, given her conspicuous absence from the Black family tapestry. It would not do to mistake Andromeda for her sisters or any of her similarly unsavory forebears.

"The Blacks share more than a few familial connections to the Weasleys as well, if I am not mistaken, and given who Harry's godfather was, I doubt he would see either of the Tonks women's lineage as a... black mark, in any case."

Finally, Dumbledore turned the not inconsiderable weight of his gaze upon his 'guest.' "The more pressing concern, I strongly suspect, would be the vivacious Miss Tonks stealing a march on your Ginevra."

Molly's mouth opened and closed like a landed trout as she cast about for a response, but the headmaster continued as though he had not noticed.

"This is the fault of neither Harry nor Nymphadora.

"I am quite fond of your daughter, Molly, and I am neither blind nor indifferent to the fact that she has endured her own hardships and setbacks; in my estimation, she has dealt with them admirably. If they lead to her reticence in approaching Harry, I sympathize, though I would point out that Mr. Potter shares many of those same experiences and then some, and has come out the other side largely intact.

"Fortuna audaces iuvat, my dear. Perhaps, should a window of opportunity open up for young Ginevra in the future, she would do well to remember the house into which she was sorted and make what she can of chance.

"Alas, time grows short, and I cannot devote any more of mine to this rousing conversation. However, before you leave, I would merely point out an accordion-playing mermaid, and thus your argument has been rendered invalid."

"Wut?"

And then Arthur 'helpfully' points out the rubber duck...

 

Ngl that made me temporarily forget what thread I'd clicked on. Very nice.

 

I spent some time thinking about my sort of shitpost plot bunny:

Seventeen or eighteen year old Harry does the time travel, but it's mind time travel, not body time travel. He's stuck as an 11yo, but does the smart thing and spills the beans to Dumbledore who runs off to deal with that Voldemort stuff.

Harry however is stuck at Hogwarts. He's an adult, but only Dumbledore knows he's actually an adult. No other adult will treat him like an adult, and he's going mad with only children for company. Obviously he's got no dating prospects either because that would make him a huge fucking creep. Dumbledore might be able to pull Harry out of Hogwarts, but the political difficulties around the Boy-Who-Lived not going to Hogwarts would be a mess and it's not worth burning that much political favour to do so.

Something happens and Harry discovers he's a metamorphmagus. Instead of the stock "hurr Dumbledore putting a binding on Harry's magic and never removed it for the evuls!!" it's the far more reasonable idea that his parents did it because they were hiding in a mostly non-magical community and having a kid who can change colours at a thought is kind of a big give-away. On top of this, James and Lily were thinking long term and knew this might be something that could save Harry's life down the line so they didn't tell anyone.

So Harry now needs some training, cue Tonks. Being a trainee auror with Mad-Eye as a mentor it doesn't take long for her to pick up something is up and Harry - desperate for company his own age - spills the beans. Once Harry can make himself look more like an adult (but still has trouble with not morphing all the time so he still needs lessons) this leads to Harry/Tonks.

This will cover something most time travel stories don't do: age dysphoria and not being a fucking creep. Most mind time-travel stories either don't have shipping but never address the issue of an adult being stuck surrounded by dipshit 11 year olds (all kids this age are dipshits), have two people (often in a relationship) time travelling and the fact they have company helps deal with being stuck surrounded by kids, it's just memories that time travelled and they're still a dumb kid so no age issues, or straight up pedo sex fantasy.

So the story would have a mind time traveller struggling to deal with the fact they're physically a kid and all their friends are no longer relatable to them. The years of camaraderie is lost, they're immature, they have different interests etc. In truth, they'll probably never be able to rekindle those friendships.

Obviously I need to balance the angst and the moping. I know people on AO3 have a fetish for that shit, but I know that DLP does not. Chapter after chapter of moping about is tedious as fuck and I don't know how they stand it.

Another issue is Sirius. How does he not know about the metamorph thing? I think the fact that Sirius is offering himself as secret-keeper bait should solve it. If Lily and James are onto the idea of Harry being a metamoph as a secret survival tool later in life, they could decide that the risk of it coming out if Sirius is captured is too great. Everyone can break under torture and when you throw in magical coercion there is no chance bar suicide preventing Sirius from spilling that secret. So they never told him, or if Sirius found out, he agree to have the memory wiped.

I'm a bit worried the block/binding thing is a bit too cliché too, even if I'm avoid the stupid evil Dumbledore shit that usually accompanies it. Also the issue of how it's discovered and why it was never picked up on. Harry spent a lot of time in the Hospital wing so I need a good reason for Pomfrey to not discover it. The "I once used magic to regrow my hair" thing seems too cliché to me so I suspect I'll avoid it as well.

 

You are both wrong. Greatest story of DLP has always been the bar for DLP's OTP. We can see this in our very iconic story which every real DLP'er has read and can never forget about it. Indeed I would daresay it is what made DLP what it is today and I am very sorry that you young whipper snappers did not get a chance read it as it was mostly taken down for being too beatiful for this world.

But never fear, I -as your elder- shall remind you what that has been long forgotten and bring you to true DLP experience. Just follow this Link;

And Behold The Office

 

The Dark side of DLP is a pathway to fics that many would call... BASED.

 

Fuck it. Gimme some recs.

They cannot possibly be any worse than some of the smut I've read.

 

I see that you're well on the way to being a "Man of Culture". Good for you.
(Btw, the other path for being a Man of Culture is through Naruto/Tsunade.)

NSFW warning, all of em are smut.

Lets get some classics out of the way;

A Big Happy Weasley Family.
Drops of Lemons. (Chapter 2&3 are Lily Potter and Amelia Bones respectively)
Charmed Bath.
Illicit Affair. (Chapter 2 is Arthur/Hermione.)
Gardenia.

And then there are these;

Evening Delight.
A Weasley Anniversary Gift.
Showered with Love.
Red Forest. (This fic is just lulz. Err...in laymen terms, it goes to weird places.)
Harry has Fun. (Fair Warning, This is Harry/everyone, including Molly, Arthur, etc.)

And the mediocre-meh ones;

Words as Weapons, Sharper than knives
Alone
He Knows she only.
Proving himself.

I'm of course leaving out fics from CopyPasta writers like that megamatt fellow...


On a side note, I know a few amongst you now and before have had doubts on weather I'm trolling or is Harry/Molly genuinely my OTP...
Well, let me assuage none of those doubts with these parting words:
If Hermione can be Black, and Harry Potter himself can be Desi (yeah that's apparently a thing now in AO3), nothing stops Molly from being a slightly more plump Cristina Hendricks. XD


Edit: Also, while The Office is a classic... A lot of the stalwarts who wrote that aren't that active here anymore. So what I'm saying is...its getting on in age.
There needs to be a Sequel.