Not only was it stolen, it really was cursed to buck everyone except Harry, but only when going over a hundred miles an hour.

 

That would definitely explain Harry ending up on the run, the Ministry tries to pin him with premeditated lethal cursing.

 

The broom then eventually becomes sentient due to Ministry tampering. It mates with the Ford Anglia and they create Ford-Firebolt Car-Broom Babies and Harry stages a Magical revolution with his new army.

 

Time it so that Umbridge springs the trap right after Dumbledore takes the fall for the DA.

I would read the hell out of Harry, Sirius, and Dumbledore chilling out in Grimmauld Place, deciding that maybe Fudge had the right idea about overthrowing the ministry after all.

 

You mean Voldemort had the right idea?

 

I mean the reason Fudge was attacking Harry/Dumbledore in OotP was that he was so insecure about his ability, and the fact that he was always a distant second choice after Dumbledore turned the job down, that he was convinced Voldemort being back was just a story they made up to steal his job. If Dumbledores exit from Hogwarts to prevent Harry from being expelled and arrested for the DA is immediately followed by Harry being expelled and arrested anyway and having to join Sirius in hiding at Grimmauld place, Dumbledore could well decide that Fudge had the right of it and he does need to become minister- or at least have a reliable Order member do it.

And considering how badly Voldemort being exposed at the end of OotP worked out for Fudge, adding in the ministry having expelled and tried to arrest a now-exonerated Harry Potter on top of that, it wouldn't be hard. For that matter, Harry being stuck in Grimmauld instead of at Hogwarts would foil Voldemorts vision plot pretty handily as well, so it wouldn't really be unreasonable to have Sirius survive and be exonerated as well.

 

I'm liking the idea of the three of them sitting around Grimmauld Place insulting Fudge. Where does it go next though? Do they genuinely decide to try and overthrow the Ministry, justifying it on the Ministries incompetence? That'd involve Dumbledore going all Greater Good again. Alternatively you could have Harry and Sirius decide to screw Britain and take off round the world.

 

Going to be honest, my thoughts did not go into all that much depth beyond combing classic OotP/Indy!Harry cliches, with my favorite part of HBP- Dumbledore actually getting page time as a mentor.

There are a bunch of ways you could play it out, there's not much time between Dumbledore being ousted and the DoM battle- less however long you put between Dumbledore being ousted and Harry having to join them on the run. Late enough that Voldemort has already set his mind on luring Harry to the ministry, only for that to be ruined. It would a stretch to have the DoM battle happen the same way, but you could have it throw enough of a wrench into his plans he's exposed some other way.

Have Dumbledore decide that since the closest calls they had were from the Ministry maybe he should reconsider his decision to avoid the job, or have them managed to capture Wormtail in whatever replaces the DoM battle, and Dumbledore/Harry throw their support behind an exonerated Sirius for the job.

The mental image I had reading the idea above was actually just Mrs Weasley bursting in to tell Sirius off for corrupting Harry with Firewhisky, only for Dumbledore to be there drinking with them.

 

After one night of drinking, Sirius wakes up to find out that they've broken into Nurmengard, and Grindlewald is sitting in his cell, begging them to take Dumbledore away, because he's an incredibly rambly drunk, and hasn't slept since they got there.

Thus starts Sirius's plan to induct Dumbledore into the Inebriati.

 

Thats a good one, plotting to lure out and capture Wormtail, and use him to clear Sirius. Sirius extorts a full pardon, one that doesn't specify his crimes, and then confesses to stealing and cursing the broom. Harry gets cleared. Maybe Wormtail testifies under veritaserum that Voldemort is back, and that causes Fudge to fall from grace?

 

This got me thinking about a Dumbledore Minister For Magic story where he took the position after it was offered. And it is just a complete rewrite of canon with a different Hogwarts because the new Headmaster is Gilderoy Lockheart.

 

Sirius gets drunk enough that he starts talking about 'the one that got away' while he was in Azkaban, Dumbledore is drunk enough to commiserate with vague non-specifics of his own lost love. Harry is drunk- and young- enough to tell them to just go for it, what's the worst that could happen, they become wanted criminals?

They're all drunk enough to not realize what they've done until the next morning. I like it.

Edit: The firewhisky runs out halfway over Germany, Grindlewald is too fucking sober for this.

 

Harry, Dumbledore, Sirius, and Hagrid sitting around a table drinking and playing cards is such a wonderful image.

 

I do have a partially finished story in my google docs with a sentient flying vanishing cabinet...

 

I love it. I'm just imagining the scene when Harry and Sirius, drunkenly, find out that its Grindelwald that Dumbledore is in love with, and all the jokes that Sirius would proceed to make at Dumbledore's expense for the rest of the journey.

 

You could avoid the greater good stuff by having Dumbledore not want to do it while Sirius and Harry push for it. This then leads to the argument that because he doesn't want to position and will vacate it as soon as it's safe to do so, he's not coveting it for the old greater good rot. Maybe throw in Sirius and Harry as people to bounce ethical ideas off.

I don't think Dumbledore will do it wrong, but he may feel more comfortable with them backing him up.

 

Saturday, January 21st, 2016. The Whitehouse.

President Samuel G. Quahog of the Magical Congress of the United States of America has the unfortunate duty of notifying newly sworn in President Trump of the existence of magic, and of a parallel society living within the United States. He also has to convince President Trump that this has to be kept secret...

 

He is removed from office in April 2020 after claiming that the coronavirus is a pandemic created by a secret cabal of wizards living among normal people. He spends the rest of his days in an insane asylum, raving about conspiracy theories related to little green elves and flying broomsticks.

If only fanfiction were real.

 

Alternative scenario, from the moment Trump is elected the MACUSA community is torn about whether to inform him or not. On the day of Trump's inauguration, President Quahog attend a special session of the Magical Congress where they debate amending the notification law to allow a No Maj president to be left ignorant if the president of MACUSA feels the risk associated with telling them is too high.

When the vote is finally called after a debate lasting all night, Quahog waits for the result with dread.

 

Side note, is the No Maj President even informed about magic in canon?