Silence by TheGorgousKid reviews
Harry Hermione and Ron return for their finall year. They meet an unexpected person, malfoys younger sister Sapphire. Yet could she be Harrys ray of hope as Harry and Sapphire bond together?
Fiction Rated: K - English - Fantasy/Drama - Chapters: 3 - Words: 10,889 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 5-28-07 - Published: 5-28-07

EDIT: Found this gem of stupidity also.


Harry Potter and the Urges of Firey Goblets by CharmedAnimeGirl reviews
I found this story on the internet so don't yell at me! M to be safe!
Complete - Fiction Rated: M - English - Humor/Parody - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,013 - Reviews: 7 - Updated: 6-17-06 - Published: 6-17-06

 

Just to show how FFN has taken over for Adult-FFN:

Smut

Why did you post it then...

 

The Truth of the Matter by EpitomeofDistraction

Follows the life of Harry Potter and, seperately, Draco Malfoy. Rated M for language probably later, drugs, alcohol, heterosexuality, and slash.​

Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 887 - Reviews: 3 - Updated: 1-21-07 - Published: 1-21-07​

Insanity takes its toll by Rissa Black

draco on muggle drugs, brewing up very evil plans for harry potter.​

Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Drama - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,654 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 9-7-06 - Published: 9-7-06​

SnowFall by Abi2

When it snows, one young man is covered by it quickly. Warnings: Language, drugs, sex, violence. No pairings yet. HBP spoilers​

Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,015 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 12-19-05 - Published: 12-19-05​

 

The Life of Anna Marie and Kiara Lacy (M) by Anna Marie PotterMalfoy | Reviews - 1 | Words: 398 | Completed: No

Follow Anna and Kiara as they tell their story.
Chapters: 1 Published: 2007.05.29
Category: General > Other Updated: 2007.05.29
Warnings: Violence, Adult Language, OOC-ness Genres: Humor/Parody, General
Characters: Blaise Zabini, Dobby, Draco, Dumbledore, Fred, George, Ginny, Harry, Hermione, Lucius, Luna, Millicent, Minerva, Molly, Narcissa, Neville, Oliver Wood, Original Character, Other, Pansy, Remus, Ron, Severus, Sirius, Tonks

*What, exactly, this has to do with Harry Potter, we may never know*

 

My Only Girl
"You know Harry," Ginny called as she looked at the fire admiringly. "We've had sex on about every surface of this flat you would say right?" she asked. -- Just smut basically. HJ,M/F,Oneshot
Author [Lizzie] -:- Rated [Adult+] -:- Chapters [1] -:- Published [2007-04-11] -:- Updated [2007-04-11] -:- Edited [2007-04-11] -:- Hits [2048] -:- Reviews [1] -:- Average / Total Vote [+++++ / 4]

Lawl. Time to fuck in the fire, then?

Edit: Now that I think about it, this isn't bad, just funny.

 

The Magical School of MogenHeld
by corey123 [Predictable:1] Reviews - 13 Beginning of the summer Moody gives Harry many magical books that start our Wizarding hero on his adventure. Then he leaves the Dursley's to stay at Grimauld place but finds out about Sirius's will but Dumbledore won't let Harry go to it. Harry is determined so he runs away to the will reading and ends up finding out his ancestor once ran a school many years ago but it has been closed for quite a while. With a place to finely call home, Harry spend the rest of his days training and trying to stop Voldemort. Packed with action, adventure, and some romance!

Ok, so the summary itself is actually quite informative, but coudl they have fitted any more cliches into it?

 

Let's see ....

- Books .....................
- Sirius's will ...............
- manipulative!Dumbles .
- mysterious ancestor ..
- hidden home ............
- secret training .........
- magical trunk ...........

OMYGOSH - They forgot the magical trunk!!!

 

Those bastards.

 

How could they!?!?!?! It is such a vital plot device after all!

 

Have you ever
some one askes Ginny Some questions. Can you figure out who?
Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 170 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 1-30-06 - Published: 1-30-06

Why would i want to?

Red as Blood
Ginny has changed but is it for the better AU
Harry Potter - Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance/Action/Adventure - Chapters: 1 - Words: 318 - Reviews: 1 - Updated: 5-28-06 - Published: 5-28-06

 

Soul Weaver by KarentheUnicorn reviews
Soul Weaver is a story of regret and redemption spanning the life of Severus Snape. Learn the astonishing truth about Snape's past a past that has been hidden even from him. Join Harry and friends as they seek to end the Dark Lords rise to power.
Fiction Rated: T - English - Drama/Fantasy - Chapters: 8 - Words: 65,683 - Reviews: 9 - Updated: 6-7-07 - Published: 5-4-07

Any story about Severus Snape is awful. What a sick minded woman

 

A Mysterious Thing, Time by SlytherinTears
After being temporarily banned from working for the Ministry as an Auror, Laurel is offered another job from Professor Albus Dumbledore. Could this new job bring new light into her life, as well as someone who she once knew and perhaps even loved? SnapeOC
Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance/Action/Adventure - Chapters: 3 - Words: 2,786 - Reviews: 0 - Updated: 6-7-07 - Published: 6-6-07

Just... Why? And what the fuck's up with Snape showing up in the leading role in every story these days?

 

Fangirls got tired of D/H bum sex so they went on to the next best thing - Robin Hood's only saving grace.

 

There are still some original pairings. Even for fangirls. Probably never used before. At least not to my knowledge. But then I don't want to know ...

The readers praise her. Even the following one:

Nevertheless I didn't read it. Is anyone in here to give it a try ?

 

I read it. Or skimmed it at least. It's not *too* awful but I see zero redeeming value in it. And of course the supposed pairing is horrifying enough to never mention the fic again.

Severus is of course a misunderstood sweetheart struggling with pain and angst and all the usual wretched tripe. Moments like this tell you all you need to know:

"Cry you little bitch, cry! I want to taste your tears. Mmm... they're so salty." Okay so that's not how Luna responded but a fella can hope. The author put some method into her madness and gave no possible reason anyone should ever be attracted to Severus, which is better than you know, twisting him into something worthy of oxygen. Oh well. Not as awful as SSLL sounds like, but there's no reason to click the link for it.

 

Then I think you'll get a chuckle out of this one.

The Return of Snape by Excessively Complex reviews

Snape's return after Voldemort's rebirth. Will Severus manage to keep his true loyalties a secret? Slash. “My Lord, I long to be your most faithful servant once more, and I long for you to trust me once more, like you always did…”
Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 33,473 - Reviews: 52 - Updated: 6-13-07 - Published: 8-14-05


Well... I think it's safe to say that Snape isn't LEADING this little slashtastic butt romp...

 

What in god's name does that mean? Reborn as Shadow Snape? So, is he a Snape with such an awesomely cool first name as Shadow? Or is he the supped up version of Snape with Shadow powers after Snape gave his life for Harry after emotional tears and buttsecks?

And following this amazing statement of sexiness, he also has scars and slightly 'altered face' (probably with double the greasiness), and Neville and Draco are helping face the scary Boogey-men in his mind. Seriously, what the fuck?

 

Actually, if you discount the stupid Snape-as-loving-mentor, the fic to which that one is a sequel, Broken Mind, Fractured Soul is actually pretty damn good. Too bad the sequel screwed it all up with the stupid adoption ritual and Harry/Draco buttsecks. Also in that story, Harry is returning to a school ran my McGonagall becuase he killed Dumbledore, not Snape.

 

I found this little gem on a random trawl through peoples favourites lists, though I can't remember whose list it was on (Which is probably for the best). Between the obvious mispellings and the huge list of tags I'd rather not think about it set off every bad fic alarm in my head except the slash alert. Why this hasn't been deleted for NC-17 content (Not that I've read it, but I really doubt you can write M-rated violent, incestuous [Fleur AND Gabrielle?] pedophilic rape) is beyond me.

EDIT: Oh, and if you don't know what some/all of those tags mean? Be glad.

 

I knew that was familiar. That story is currently being re-written and is in my alert list..though now that I've seen the summary of the original version I wonder if that was a wise deicison... Here's the sumary of the current one for shits and giggles: