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WIP A Name in the Ashes

Discussion in 'Review Board' started by surseksam, Jul 3, 2025 at 10:26 AM.

  1. surseksam

    surseksam Muggle

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    Title: A Name in the Ashes
    Author: Pensieve Pundit
    Rating: T
    Status: Work in Progress
    Pairing: None
    Genre: Drama, Adventure
    Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/14486696/1/A-Name-in-the-Ashes

    Summary:
    What if Voldemort attacked both Harry and Neville that Halloween night? The world crowns Neville the Boy Who Lived, while Harry is presumed dead. But in a quiet Muggle orphanage, a boy with strange powers grows up unseen. And somewhere outside, a fugitive godfather plots an impossible rescue, risking prison, death and worse; to give Harry a name, a future. And a home…

    This story is a different take on the Wrong Boy Who Lived trope, told with a focus on emotional realism, character depth, and narrative development. Rather than relying on character bashing, the story explores differing perspectives and opinions; people may see each other in imperfect or conflicting lights, but no one is vilified just for the sake of it

    This first book acts as a prologue, spanning from Halloween 1981 to the autumn just after Harry's tenth birthday. It primarily follows Sirius Black’s point of view as he navigates grief, guilt, and redemption in a hidden corner of the world. From the next book onwards, Harry will take centre stage, and his perspective will become the heart of the story.

    Though not a crack fic, the series will carry a thread of humour, especially from character interactions and dynamics.

    This is the first of a seven-part series.
     
    Last edited: Jul 3, 2025 at 12:11 PM
  2. Nexis

    Nexis Fourth Year

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    I guess you're the author? Since it's only 14k words long at the moment, I'll wait for more before checking it out. You might want to consider posting this in the work by author section instead.
     
  3. surseksam

    surseksam Muggle

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    Yes, I’m the author. Thanks for checking in! The story’s now up to around 30k words, almost halfway, and I’ll be updating regularly. The full fic should be complete by next week, so if you’re waiting for the entire thing, you won’t have to wait long.

    I’d thought the Review Board was the right place for sharing new work, but I really appreciate the heads-up! I’ll keep the Work by Author section in mind. Thanks again!
     
  4. The-Hyphenated-One

    The-Hyphenated-One Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    Really enjoying this so far. The writing is fantastic and just sucks you in. The scene with Dumbledore and the kids in costume hooked me right away. Eagerly looking forward to more.
     
  5. surseksam

    surseksam Muggle

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    Thank you so much, truly appreciate the kind words!

    That scene with Dumbledore and the kids was one of the earliest I imagined when the idea for this fic started bubbling. I liked the contrast of him, this towering mythic figure, being gently out of place but still deeply human, surrounded by kids who think he’s just some quirky old man with odd socks. It set the tone for the kind of story I wanted to tell, equal parts heart, humour, and weight.

    Also, thanks a ton for the review, it really means a lot. I’m so glad the story’s resonating, and I hope the upcoming chapters continue to deliver!
     
  6. surseksam

    surseksam Muggle

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    A few thoughtful readers on FFN pointed out something I’d overlooked: by 1981, most Muggle orphanages in the UK had been phased out in favour of foster care. They’re absolutely right, and I appreciate them taking the time to say so.

    When I first outlined this story, I’d noted that historical detail, but coming back to it years later, I went with theme over accuracy. So yes, Harry is raised in an orphanage in this fic, not to mirror Riddle’s childhood or lean into gothic tropes, but as a way to explore quiet resilience, loneliness, and what it means to be offered a choice.

    St. Jude’s is meant to feel ordinary, not cruel, a narrative foil to ask: what if two boys with similar beginnings had different hands extended to them?

    And honestly, if the wizarding world can run on quills and parchment in the ‘90s, perhaps the Muggle side was just a little delayed too, Ministry inefficiency is clearly contagious.

    I'm new to this forum and couldn’t find the edit button on my original post, so posting this as a follow-up. Around 47k of the planned 68k words are already up, and I’d really appreciate any feedback or advice on how to improve, whether it’s character, pacing, tone, or anything else.

    If I’ve unknowingly broken a rule by posting this, I hope I won’t be sent to magical detention, unless it comes with biscuits.
     
  7. Iztiak

    Iztiak Prisoner DLP Supporter

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    If you’re already finished with writing it & are just looking for final ratings/reviews & possible inclusion in our Library list then you’ve probably put it in the right place. Our discord has been sapping activity from the main forum lol so replies will be a bit slow in coming in.

    Work by Author is typically(but not always) used for WIP stories or to get more specific and direct helpful feedback, like story structure, grammar issues, etc.

    It’s nice to see a new face (& story), I’ll give this a read and drop my review with any comments or thoughts once I’ve finished it. :)