... what does that mean?

 

I guess I'll put a dissenting review here (though I'd note that it would look like there's some agreement with me given the average star rating). For me, there is just too little substance in the story and too much dramatization for me to ever recommend this. I respect the effort and thought the author has put into this story. I'm not sure what "vibewritten" means but it's clear that this is a significant passion project for the author. I hope they continue writing because the passion comes through very clearly.

But I cannot recommend this to anyone. For me, the first fic in the series and much of the second could easily have been folded into 5-6 chapters. Part of the issue is that every scene has to be riddled with metaphor and emotional overtures. They're admittedly sometimes well-written but it loses a lot of power when they're in every scene. And frankly, they're also often over the top. It's impossible to take what little plot there is seriously when it's often dressed in some utterly flamboyant (concur about the author notes). The way the characters act are very reminiscent of slash fics in the overblown emotional dramatics. The two fics are at 160k, which is a significant problem considering that's PS and CS, and very little has actually happened.

I briefly considered 3.5/5 for almost recommended, but I consider an "almost recommendation" to be a fic I would not recommend in general to people but would recommend to someone interested in a specific type of fic. But I'm not sure what type of fic this is (maybe some type of, and at 160k that's problematic.

2.5/5 rounded to 2

 

Taking a wild guess, but I think they're asking if this was written with the assistance of LLM/AI/chatbots.

 

Yeah.

While I definitely enjoy this story and would rate it at least 4/5 tog et it into the library under General, the author is 100% using AI.

The flowery prose, the over description, the weird comparisons. I'm a high school teacher. I see this stuff day in nd day out. It reads precisely like my students who use AI.

 

Yes. Thats what I meant. Vibe coding. Vibe writing. Same idea. Gives off those vibes.

Vibewriting not withstanding, i did enjoy this. Same complaints as everoyne about the excess verbosity. Didn't mind the pacing. Will continute to follow.

3/5 for book one
4/5 for book 2 so far but too early to say for sure.

Edit: Not sure how exactly I feel about the fact that I immediately clocked it as AI assisted (clearly well directed and edited by the author though) and still enjoyed it anyway and subscribed for future updates. Little piggy likes his slop I guess.

 

I was wondering the same thing. Especially when the author spent a month 'writing' a 150k+ fic (likely much longer at this rate). Unless writing is the authors full time job, it has to be AI.

 

If this is written by AI, imo it doesn't deserve to be even reviewed for entry in the DLP Library.

 

He's drops 7 chapters every 2 weeks. That both is an insane pace to write without AI but a sluggish one if it were pure LLM output. What it says to me is he's almost certainly spending a fair amount of time reviewing, reprompting, editing and rewriting portions. It's not a binary "written by LLM or not".

 

I usually try to reply to every comment on this thread and I had intended to respond to more of the earlier reviews, especially the ones with real feedback I found helpful. But I’ve been neck-deep in the writing and couldn’t find the time for it.

Coming back today and seeing the discussion veering into “AI authorship” territory, I felt I should jump in and offer my two knuts.

Let’s start plainly:

No, this story was not written by AI. Not prompted. Not co-written. Not edited with a machine whispering in my ear. It’s just me.

Every chapter you’ve read - the structure, the rhythm, the ridiculous metaphors, the over-the-top descriptions I keep promising to rein in... all of it was built the old-fashioned way: by writing, re-writing, deleting, despairing, tweaking, and occasionally triumphing. If it reads like a person obsessed with details, that’s because I am.

I understand the suspicion. We live in strange times. But to equate polish or style or metaphorical flourishes with machine output is disheartening. Vibes are not evidence. If my prose strikes you as flawed, I welcome the critique. But let’s keep the discussion grounded in craft, not gut feelings.

And since this came up, and because I believe context matters, let me share a little of mine.

I, like many fanfic writers, hope to be a published author someday. This story was always meant to be a proving ground: a place to test my craft, figure out what works, what doesn’t, and what I still need to learn. It began years ago after a late-night binge of one of my favourite fics took a turn I just couldn’t come to terms with. That spiralled into a 113-page handwritten rant/outline/therapy session and the bones of this story were born.

I only returned to it when I felt ready to commit to the full seven part arc, with enough maturity and discipline to do it justice. I wrote the first book completely before I even posted. I believe I posted the opening on July 3rd, and spent the next 10 days editing and refining before releasing the rest - around 78k words in total.

Book Two launched on August 16th. At the time, I had 67k words of that written and edited. In the 20 days since, I’ve written another 54k. Yes, it ballooned. I even noted this in the first Author’s Note.

So no... I’m not writing 150k words a month from scratch. The suggestion is frankly preposterous.

What I have done is make this story a priority. I’ve been burned too many times by authors whose works I adored disappearing mid-arc, or vanishing without closure. So I made a promise to myself: if even one reader picks up my fic, I won’t vanish on them. I’ll finish what I started.

I’m also lucky. I work a 32-hour week. Not everyone has that flexibility. But I do, and I’ve channelled my free time into this project.

As for the style. I know I’m wordy. I’m verbose, purple, occasionally baroque. I’ve received that feedback here and elsewhere, and I’ve worked to tighten my prose in the second book; hopefully without losing the character-driven flavour that matters to me. But let’s not pretend that metaphorical writing is some uncanny anomaly. The person who cited “weird comparisons” as AI telltales, with all due respect, should know that those are called metaphors. Writers use them.

And yes, I grinned, mostly out of exasperation at being called “too polished to be real.” In an online world where prose standards have been steadily diluted into character-limited slop and half-baked sentences, being accused of writing too well feels ironically flattering. Still it’s a punch to the gut.

Especially because I had actually planned a post here after Book Two wraps, unpacking some of the metaphors and choices I made, partially in response to coolname95’s thoughtful and meticulous commentary, which I genuinely appreciated. But now I wonder if that’s pointless. The trial’s already happened. The verdict handed down: if it’s refined, it must be AI. If the story has rhythm, it can’t be human.

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? Who gets to gatekeep the gatekeepers?

To those still reading… thank you. To those enjoying the ride, even if you disagree with my choices… I appreciate it more than I can say. And if the forum decides that this work is AI-generated and rejects it from Library consideration on that basis, I’ll accept that. That’s your call.

But I’ll keep writing anyway. In my own style, in my own time, until the last reader stops turning the page.

 

I just wanted to jump in quickly and say I'm really enjoying the story. Currently it's a nice break from the 4000 pages of Proust that I'm reading, so to me the so-called flowery prose in this fic is well: very, very light. Some metaphors work, some don't, that's just something to improve on – but that doesn't mean per se that the prose has to be less flowery. I kind of get the commentary, if you come from other fanfiction or most fantasy, but I guess it's a matter of taste.

My major issue with the fic so far is the pacing (which has been stressed before). That said, I love reading the authors commitment above. It would be nice to actually get a good Harry Potter story finished.

There were a couple of scenes especially that stood out to me, between Sirius and Harry. Maybe it's just me being an emotional dad of a young kid myself, but I shed a couple of tears.

What I also loved about the story is that all the characters feel slightly more competent (except maybe Dumbledore...). It's the old idea of never nerfing someone, but giving everyone a little boost. This makes the world feel fresh, and the magic and conflicts kind of mysterious to me, or at least. I have this feeling that I don't yet know how this story will deliver everything. Which is nice, in a vast sea of fanfiction that just follows the same lines over and over again.

Anyway, 4/5 for now. With the the potential of going higher for me.

 

Bro, I know what a metaphor is. I was pointing out that the ones you were using were weird and strange, to the point where the comparison doesn't really make any sense and it actually detracts from the writing. It's been a classic AI giveaway right from the get go. Writers also know when the not use them.

 

With respect, if the metaphors are so self-evidently strange and nonsensical, I’d really appreciate an example or two. Otherwise, it starts to feel a bit like tone-policing.

I’m not allergic to critique. I’ve reworked plenty based on feedback, including around verbosity and flow. But when someone drops a sweeping judgment like “100% using AI” without citing a single instance… you’ll forgive me if I squint a little.

So if you’ve got metaphors that stood out as clunky, I’m all ears. I’ll happily explain what I was trying to do. And if it missed the mark, fair game. But I’d rather talk craft than vibes.

 

Just going to chime in to say that all I'm seeing here is a better written and more enjoyable story than the overwhelming majority of the slop on FFN. Looking forward to that next batch of chapters.

 

FWIW, I didn’t get the feeling this was written by A.I. The few that I’ve had the displeasure of reading tended to have inconsistencies throughout the story like having a character mentioned that wasn’t set up to be there or having Harry do something and then the story continues as if it never happened.

Curious though, what’s everyone’s opinion on using A.I to check your grammar?

 

AI grammar check is super brain dead IMO. Everywhere you’d want to write has had built in SPAG error identifying capabilities long before the rise of LLM’s.

I think the only way to come down on AI accusations is basically how the author did. Hard. Anything less in today’s online climate is tantamount to an admission. Which absolutely sucks ass if you aren’t using AI.

Their comments also read like the story (could be using LLM for comments too, dont shoot me) so that checks out. I’m inclined to dismiss the accusations, because I’ve consumed the content with the style as is.

——

Also want to echo the actual critique in this thread; there’s a version of this story that keeps the author’s clearly developed voice, while actually providing plot progression. And that story bangs probably slightly better than the current version does, but fuck it I’m still reading what you’re posting.

 

I might ask the bot about an item of grammar if I'm not sure about something. Paste in a paragraph and ask if there's a comma splice. Ask about the spelling of something I don't 100% remember (looking at you, manoeuvre), or ask for suggestions on a synonym/antonym if I'm coming up empty myself, but from what I can tell, the bigger the block of text, the more trouble a bot will have with giving coherent detailed feedback. And like @akegsuthwsak said, SPAG checkers are built into word processors already; that plus the author giving a shit takes care of 95% of technical blunders. Most of the other 5% is reading and editing your work once you've finished the first draft.

 

At the risk of going meta, while groups of expert users of LLMs can fairly accurately distinguish AI articles by majority voting, there's also some evidence that untrained evaluators can't. So take from that what you will.

I don't think any single indicator like the occasional clumsy metaphor means anything for AI use. By number of books sold, Dan Brown has to be among the greatest living authors. Yet here are some sentences from Dan Brown's books:

There are powerfully built assassins that stalk like panthers, Sierra 'changing tacks', Pandora is let out of her box (in which she never was), the name of one of the books is "The da Vinci code", or translated, "The of Vinci code". Someone's eyes go white like a shark about to attack.

This is not to criticize Dan Brown. I've liked his books well enough. It's just to say that even professional authors can use clumsy imagery and metaphors. Someone writing as a HP fanfiction as a hobby writing the occasional poor sentence doesn't shock me at all, and in fact this issue seems to have improved in the second story.

The problem is that even the AI detectors can flag text as AI generated based on style (GPTZero, for instance, flags parts of this story but not others). Hence - and given the low stakes - I suggest benefit of the doubt.

 

So, several weeks later I am still suspicious of this fic. Too many AI vibes. Clumsy metaphors, Em dashes galore, and I say this as someone who genuinely enjoys the story and would rate is 4/5.

However, I have to point out that the ‘they accused me of AI’ rant at the start of Chapter 22 is absolutely, hilariously unhinged. The author compared some of his writing to the Declaration of Independence ffs.

And apparently we weren’t the only ones who were suspicious.

And before the author gets on my case again, don’t. I like the fic. I’m reading the fic. I’m subscribed to the fic and author on FFnet. I’m leaving positive comments on the fic. I enjoy the story and characters and character development and little changes to the universe. I eagerly await the seven chapter updates. And read them all in one sitting!

 

Not to defend Dan Brown, although I do love his work, but the Major difference between his first several books and fanfiction today is the ubiquity of AI. When Angels and Demons and The Da Vinci Code came out, you could be reasonably sure that it wasn’t AI because AI wasn’t the thing. It was just Dan Brown being a hack/inexperienced writer. Today AI has infiltrated every creative medium and the slop is everywhere.

It reminds me of the Animorph book series when I was a kid. Even as a 10 year old you could really tell which ones were written by KA Applegate and which ones were the ghostwriters.

Hell, some authors of AO3 just plain admit they are using AI.

 

Some authors certainly do. And sometimes it's super obvious. I read a story on FFN the other day where the author was so lazy that they copied not just the prose spun up for them, but the little blurb after asking about scene continuation.

On the other hand...if people get too comfortable with saying everyone today who uses weird metaphors, em-dashes or doesn't have rampant technical issues is under suspicion for AI writing...

I bet a lot of fanfic authors are just gonna quit and then you'll actually be flooded with AI. Why pour your heart, time and energy into a work just for people (who have statistically been proven to be bad at telling the difference outside of fringe cases) to say "AI lol"