It's good, a little bland but you need to set things up so that's understandable. Very good writing style I found only 1 little typo. Look forward to more.

Will post better review when I'm not so tired.

Edit:

Ok, I like political stories as well, hopefully this isn't completely political and there is some other conflict that happens as well.

I don't mind the mentor!Lucius, in fact I like it, seems like neither of these characters can just be a mentor or student and I wouldn't be surprised if they both try to manipulate one and other by abusing the relationship they have with each other.

I agree that courting was a strange choice of words but I'm not going to let something like that affect my opinion of the fic as a whole.

Very interested in seeing where this goes, 5/5.

 

Can't wait for more.

It was well-written and original.

I also liked Harrys characterization very much.

Very promising

 

4/5 with the potential to go higher or lower depending on how the rest turns out. Political!Harry gets a plus, but Mentor!Lucius is worrisome. I'm mollified by the fact that Harry still can't stand Draco.

Big D

 

A refreshing well written story taking the political angle. It will be interesting to see how the story progresses when Voldemort returns. Minister Harry embroiled in a civil war against his own party.

Jim

 

This is a very well written story, and I got goosebumps while reading it. His characterization of Harry is brilliant- In fact Harry's personality is very similar to Augustus. Like the man who would solidify his hold over the Roman Empire at a relatively young age, Harry is an incredibly determined young man who is conquering the magical world not by using military force, but through the art of persuasion. It's fucking brilliant.

I know I'll be eaten up alive for this, but in my opinion, Lucius is very much like Julius Caesar in this story. The relationship between Lucius and Harry is very similar to the relationship between Augustus and Caesar. The head of the Malfoy family saw the potential in Harry and he knew what the seemingly weak young man could accomplish. With this thought in his mind, he groomed and raised a young man who would someday take over the magical world- Harry Potter.

5/5 definitely

 

That makes it sound as though Blood Supremacy came from religion, which wouldn't shock me that much.

Still, good start for an AU-based political story. Wise choice to start it after Hogwarts- it leaves a space for imagination which is always good for a story.

5/5 so far.

 

Well, you're right, because that makes no sense. The mentor archetype is hardly unique in prose, or even in history (as in your example). And I don't really see evidence in this first chapter to support the theory that Malfoy wanted Harry to be the Minister - although using him to help himself would be expected.

Well, as for the chapter itself, it is a very reasonable start off point. I say, hmm... I'm withholding final judgment of rating it, but I'll know soon, I think. It's pretty good so far, looking forward to more.

-J

 

Good stuff but there really isn't much to base any sort of rating on besides his writing style- which I liked- and the very beginning of the plot.

We don't yet know if this will be a Harry POV, whether it will be all politics, whether this story will even have Harry as the lead role, or anything major really. This needs a lot more before it deserves a raiting and maybe a place in the library if it stays as good as the first chapter was.

I did love the fact that Molly Weasley and most of the other Wasleys disliked him and the 'Fudge's approval rating is two percent behind AIDS' crack was good but some of the DD/MM conversation seemed slightly forced.

Still this chapter wa damn well done and depending on where he takes this it might get really good.

HBP

 

I have a feeling that the Weasleys are gonna get hit with a reality kick as soon as things start to boil.

 

Actually, we do know the answers to these questions. Check out the authors note at the beginning of the first chapter. I've quoted it below.

 

Oh good, never mind then. This is one of those instances that I like being wrong. I would have hated it to have been from a thousand different POV's or something like that.

 

I will review in haiku form:

This story made me

have powerful orgasm

write more please. Ok?

 

Whilst I don't usually like to say much when a story only has one chapter written for it this is one of few exceptions.

First off, because its a political story that doesn't revolve around Harry suddenly gaining any number of seats on the Wizengamot and using the votes to make sure laws pass his way. Being a political would-be myself I am impressed and attracted to the way its been written in a realistic political tone, with parties, inter-party turmoil (potential, when/if Riddle returns), and very differing views amongst the public in general. If the author keeps along this line, making the story realistic (or as realistic as you can be when working with a fictional magical government) when examined in comparison to the UK's own political system then I will be pleased. It's refreshing to see something new and realistic in the HP Politics area, it doesnt seem to happen that often that I have found and it helps with immersion so much in these stories.

And secondly, its been mentioned before, but the writing style throughout the chapter is of a very good standard. Makes it that much more enjoyable to read when you aren't having to pick through spelling and grammar errors on every line. Hopefully that quality can be maintained throughout and there won't be incredibly long delays between chapters.

For this chapter, 5/5. I am very impressed. For the story as a whole though, I think I'd prefer to wait for another chapter or two before I call it. Hard to judge at this stage.

 

Harry Potter seems enigmatic in this fic. It's good to keep mysteries of Harry and try to get the audience to give out questions. Either way i like it and hopefully you go and make more chapters. 5/5 for great writing style.

 

Is there any word on when the author is going to post the next chapter?

 

Not sure, she posted part of Chapter two in the Work by Author section here. Thus, one presumes she's working on it.

 

I'll update it soon. Have been out of town and rewriting chapter 2.

​

 

Lol, I would step on you.

And I already knew it was yours so /shrug

 

Cuz I told ya.

 

No I used hax.