I read the story you are referring to. Didn't even understand who the characters were. Maybe thats because I was mentally vomiting throughout the epilogue.

 

-Severus/Remus slash.
-Snape addressing Lupin as "Wolf.", as in "You'll get no sympathy from me, Wolf."
-MPregVeela! Harry
--Pair-bonding.
-Battle Mages.
-Harry or Neville using a staff to channel his/their magic.
-Neville or Harry possessing a telepathic link to Hogwarts, through which they can manipulate the wards to then be responsive only to them. (sp/syn)
- Severus Snape behaving in emo fashion, cutting himself, or becoming pregnant.
-Any fic where Harry possesses multiple magical animagus forms.

 

Yes, Yes, we know that Shitbabies are the worst of the worst. I like to leave reviews belittling the authors' knowledge of basic human anatomy. It's not even funny anymore, though.

 

Harry Potter crossover with Star Trek: Voyage. I actually came across a fic like this and had a morbid curiosity. When I got to the point of Sirius flying through the ship on his broom with Kes I'd taken enough. These are just two genres that should never cross.

 

I hate it when people mix crossovers JUST to have fun. The Harry-pops-into-such&suchplace-wow-what-wacky-adventures-he-has idea is a terrible one. If you want to make a crossover, then you NEED to have a plot, and it had BETTER be a good one.

 

Has nobody mentioned the "humor" fics which read like a bad foreign game show, where the author tries to be as "random" and loud as possible thinking it's funny?

He has now.

 

I'm not sure if it was mentioned before, but when it comes to HP fan-fiction, I just can't stand nonsensical Crossovers. Now, a story featuring a crossover would have to be extremely well-written in order to catch my eye and the two worlds being connected would both have to have some sort of magical elements in common, as well as not invalidating each other's basic rules.

The most notable example of crossovers in the HP fandom that I've found have generally been SW/HP. Now, I'm as big a Star Wars nut as the next gal, but that doesn't mean that these two worlds can be connected without royally screwing everything up, from the Force to the most basic of spells. Also, if characters from the HP universe are suddenly and inexplicably - or even worse, as part of another bloody prophecy - transported into the GFFA, they most certainly will not harmoniously blend in with the natives, become Jedi Knights because they can do magic or other such contrived drivel.

Most probably, they would suffer a massive panic attack at being subjected to such an alien setting, such inconceivable technology, along with the inability to do magic as they have always known and understood it - either ending up shot full of holes by the Empire or locked up in a maximum security psychiatric ward. Nope, just not plausible.

Another thing that irks me are the constant happy, fluffy endings of stories (though admittedly, this pertains more to my personal tastes than to problems in fan-fiction itself). Still, it can't be denied that happily-ever-after is used much too often and has become something of a bad cliche nowadays. I prefer a melancholic, bittersweet, unresolved or even outright dark ending any day.

 

A fic written around the Scorpius Malfoy/Rose Potter pairing post DH. Kill me now.

 

I don't really know about that... we know extremely little about these characters - practically, besides their names and a vague idea of physical appearance, there is no base personality to work with. In a talented author's hands, this can be an advantage, as he/she has a lot more movement space this way, creating full-fledged characters, without being constricted by what traits are considered cannon and what are not, as well as OOC-ness.

The most obvious downside that I can see is that the author should take the easy route and write these children with exactly their parents' personalities - which, of course, would irk the hell out of me, since I've never been able to stomach Draco/Hermione.

However, with some good writing and good characterization skills, the subject could be turned from a dull same-old story or a potential train-wreck into something halfway interesting.

 

Damn were already seeing post-epilogue shipping? My god fangirls work fast.
Personally I think the worst plot idea is any plot where the ship becomes the plot. I can assure you when that occurs, 95% of the time the ship will sink because of its weight. You cannot base a story (and expect it to be good) on a half ass ship.

 

Why would she name the daughter Rose? It's been used in every fanficition to ever have Ginny's kids... ever... and as Harry's "sister" too. Or did JK leak something that caused the fics?

I can't believe you've all missed this one;

Gunslinger!Harry

I've only seen it done well once, and even then it wasn't great. Yes, there's the whole "why don't wizards dominate muggles? Because of machine guns" thing, but still. HP is magical. That's the fucking POINT. Just because you 'enchanted' the gun to break magical shields and never run out of ammo (convenient plot hole filler ain't it?) doesn't make it magic. Bullet-like spells? Awesome, go for it. Guns.... no.

I hate it when Harry starts dominating DE's because they refuse to use such 'lowly muggle tech'. I'm sorry, but if Voldemort thought he could take over the world with machine guns, it'd be machine guns he'd be using.

Oh and Techno/Magic crossed America. We're fucking RETARDED. If a magical community were discovered in America, we'd call it Al Quaeda and bomb it's ass preemptively before using magic to bomb Iraq's (Desert Storm) ass.

Harry has a lost sister/tiwn. Fucking hate it.
Harry commits incest with his lost sister.

Harry's twin was BWL, Harry is abused (only Unsung Hero is forgiven in my book).

Wandless!Harry, where Harry can immidiatly do magic because he 'never limited his magic to a wand to make things easier, and forced it through his hands' at a young age.

The twenty second, ten core, four wood, focus stone wand with detailed decorations that can't be touched by anyone but Harry. A wand is a wizard's most important tool; it shouldn't be made in a few seconds by an old man. And fuck the 'just walk around the cores till you feel a pull' bullshit. If that worked, Olivander could just have student walk through his halls till they found a wand that 'pulled' them.

Potions!Master Harry. Usually done specifically to show-up Snape, and never spoken of again.

Potter inheritances. Black inheritances (he's a goddamn criminal, and had no will. Why the hell would a perfectly healthy man who just got out of prison and is obviously not the most responsible write a will?). Harry as heir of anything inheritances.

Gringotts as more than a bank. It's a fucking Bank.
Gringotts as representative of Goblin world (or any one creature being representative of it's species). Why does everyone assume every other species other than humans are totally united?

Harry with any parents other than Lilly and James.

Pet peeve of mine; super!Lilly. She was good at charms and potions, not a fucking magical healing saint.

Another peeve; weak-ass James. He and Lilly BOTH escaped the Dark Lord thrice, get over it you self-righteous feminist fan-girls.

Pureblood!Lilly and/or Squib!Parents!Lilly. She's a muggle born. That's an important part of Harry's heritage. Get over it.

Harry suddenly learning and mastering the etiquette of an entire species by reading one book, and using it to masterfully make said species love and worship him as a nice wizard (which is just about as good as God himself).

The super mansion with portraits that can teach magic.

Sirius returns from the veil. Been done well a few times, but is usually shit.

Harry is raised by a dark, neutral, super powerful wizard, and refuses to use any of that power in an effort to stay neutral ::rolls eyes:: No conflict means no story.

Hermione who holds Harry's hand through every fucking little thing because he's totally incompetent without her (I hate these fics more than H/G lovefests).

Anyone being described as a stronger dark catcher than Mad-Eye Moody. Moody is fucking powerful and a tricky bastard. Learn to respect him damn it! But he's old! Younger than both Dumbles and Voldie. (Sorry, Weak!Mad-Eye is a pet peeve of mine).

The classic animagus on animagus fight. I'm sorry, but Voldie doesn't have to turn into a Basilisk to fight Harry as a Dragon (or any other big fucking animal). He can just use AK.

Stupid!Voldemort whose hateful ways have alienated his followers. He's a CHARISMATIC dark lord. He has followers for a reason, they aren't all scarred punks who want to be on the 'winning-side'.

Stagnant!Voldemort. He's a dark lord seeking immortality and total control over the magical world. He does not sit back and do nothing for no reason. Ever.

Weak!DeathEaters. DE's will not lose to kids. Repeat; Death Eaters will not lose to kids. They're not incompetent because they don't 'work together'.

Merlin. Enough said.

Harry getting a marauder name after achieving animagus.

Prankster!Harry.

Everyone is suddenly gay. There goes the already dwindaling wizard population.

SuperExclusive!School. Harry will not choose to go to random uber-school in it's own dimension that thinks Hogwart's house system is 'primitive'. It's just dumb.

I can't think of any more, but I'm sure their are plenty I'm forgetting.

 

Hmm. Any fic with a ship between a Malfoy and a Potter is CRAP. There are no exceptions to this rule (even for you Narcissa/Harry fans /gag).

As to the ship being the plot issue I say this again...

Ships are for Sailing!
Less Romance, More Explosions!​

 

RaisedByMafiaDon!Harry

RaisedByAssassins!Harry

RaisedByElves!Harry

 

That actually could work very well as an explination for the dwindalling wizard population. One in two is a homo.

 

There's a story like that. And its a very popular Independent!Harry. Its named "Shake Me". Potter was sorted into HufflePuff. Is one of my favorite Badass!Harry stories.

Which story is the one with Potter screwing Granger's mom? I'd love to read that one for comedy relief!

Richard.

 

Google Kinsfire. I wouldn't recommend looking for it, however. Just be very very glad that you haven't read it yet.

 

Sooooo...... What do you like? I think it might be a shorter list. Matter of fact, I'm sure of it.

 

What chapter is it? I gotta see this.

Richard.

 

Kinsfire is an author, look in the Hall of Shame if you want to find him. It's a few down, just look for his name on the left as the thread creator. Ishtar and Kinsfire .... brings back such lulzy memories. You will find his works to be utterly hilarious and at the same time revolting.

 

Yes, I saw his posting explaining himself as everyone totally dressed him down. I just wanna read the chapter with Potter screwing Granger's mom, it'd be funny to see the reaction.

Richard.