When people make Harry all independant and into a serious fighter type guy, and then make him use the names Dumbledork and Moldyshorts.
Everytime I see that it makes me want to stab something.

 

Well, of course. When I think of an independent Harry I think of these:

1)Harry angry at Dumbledore, calling him 'old goat' and 'Dumbledork' whenever he talks to people and they find it either amusing or shocking.

2)Harry waiting until Moody gets off his shift to use his invisibility cloak, get on the Knight Bus after masking himself or using a bandana, and going to Diagon Alley.

3)Really helpful Goblins who actually have a hierarchy that lives beneath Gringotts. They pledge their allegience to Harry after talking to him once.

4)Harry becomes the heir to around fourty titles, making him the richest man with twenty wizengamot seats, blah blah blah.

5)Uber!trunk, laviathan!core wand and IceBasilisk!core wand, bunch of random dark arts books because it's a universal lie that the dark arts meses with your head.

6)Harry goes to Borgin and Burkes, gets the trackers taken off his wands, then goes back to the Dursleys and redoes his room completely with spells he hasn't learned yet. Of course, he uses his uber!mansion!timeturner!trunk to train with six other Harrys where they become beasts of the east.

7)Harry kills lots of Death Eaters, calling them Dark Sodders and stuff like that before going up against Voldemort himself, calling him Moldyshorts and stuff to 'enrage' him.

Pretty much, the names are about the smallest things that annoy me in the HP independent world. Give me those anyday if I don't have to deal with stained future.

 

Most other things i can put up with slightly, it is just that they are trying to portray Harry as being independant and not childish, yet he is using names like Dumbledork.

Whoever invented that name needs to be shot

 

Well, I'm sure the one who invented the names / was the first to include them in fanfics was a rather original author. It's just nowadays that it is an annoying cliché.

I remember the first time I read Moldyshorts / Moldywarts or so was in "The Naked Quidditch Match" and back then it was great.

Even now it isn't that annoying if done carefully. But too many authors overuse these elements.

 

Two words: Patents.

I'm serious. The original authors should request patents for little plot elements like these.

 

Umm... what?

 

Go back and count them. There were two words in that sentence.

 

A period doesn't count as a word old chap. Patents. = 1 word.

 

I meant "Two words". Two words, see?

Eh, nevermind. I just remembered it from Shezza88's "HP Parody". A character said something along the lines of "Two words. Ouch", and refered to the first sentence.

 

There is one variation of Voldemort's name that I just lol at.......I am talking about.....VOLDEMROT, the magical owl in lunakatrina's story.

 

Ah, yeah that was a great one. He went on for like a whole page on that shit. Funny as hell. But, then again, that's a parody.

 

I can deal with the name calling. But so help me Eris, if I see another reference to treating Harry like a "mushroom", I will kill me some sons of bitches reeeeaaaal dead.

 

I have to say, in the 4 years that I have been reading HP fanfic, I have not seen one reference to anyone or anything treating Harry like a mushroom. Can you explain this, and provide linkage?

 

Can't forget the gianormously large trunk, or the super timeturner, capable of sending you back days at a time with one spin!

Eh, there are a bunch of things that seem to go hand in hand with Ninja!Warrior!Indie!Harry. Not all of them good either.

Shouldn't this be inside the Fanfictions Worst Plot Ideas Thread?

 

It probably should, and I am sure the admin's will move it if they deem it so.

I also hate it when Harry Potter, the 11 year old mastermind politician/wizarding law extraordinaire comes in and WTFpwn's Dumbledore in a minute flat.

Edit: Just found a new nickname for Dumbledore........ Dumb-Butt-Dore. What the fuck.

 

I know Kinsfire and some of the other idiots at FFA use it, and I've seen it elsewhere. Too lazy to go dig up an example because I honestly just don't feel like slogging through crappy fics. But anyway, the full usage:

"He's treating you like a mushroom-- keeping you in the dark and feeding you shit."

 

Lol, that is actually kinda funny. Potter, quit being a shroom, your making your fellow classmates hallucinate! What would happen if Shroom!Harry where to kiss someone of the fairer sex, because slash isn't allowed.......

 

I really get annoyed with the whole "Dumlbedork" and "Moldyshorts" bullshit. What about something like "Lord Douchebag" or "Beard-o The Clown." It seems to me that though all of the characters are British , they can't seem to think of any creative cursing beyond "The Dark Tosser" or "Death Munchers." Those are some pretty biting insults, if you are a nine year old yelling at another nine year old.

 

It's the cliches, not the indy!Harry sub-genre itself, that are the problem. I still search through Harry Potter websites every day, despereately searching for a good, completed indy fic. It has been months since I found one.

And the cliches are sometimes fun to read, really. Not in the same, 'Wow, Harry is so cool! I wish I could be that witty! This rocks!' sort of way like when I was a lot younger, but more in the 'It's fun to stop having to think and to just read through a fic where Harry kicks everything and its grandmother's ass by the end without breaking a sweat,' way.

And I just feel like saying that I am rather partial to Dumb-bull-shit-dore. I don't remember where I read it, and there is a chance I jsut made it up on the spot, but that name amuses me.