<hr style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);" size="1"> <!-- / icon and title --><!-- message --> Title: Harry Potter and the Lantrisi
Author: JohnDeath
Rating: T(FF.net) R(Ficwad)
Genre: Adventure/Sci Fi
DLP Category:Independent Harry / The Alternate's (not too sure in which one)
Pairing: Harry/Hermione/OC
Status: Work in Progress
Summary: The Second War is about to begin, with Voldemort gaining power, and the Ministry denying his return. Ron&Hermione are looked as the ones to destroy HIM, but no one saw the return of the Savior they had believed dead. Starts with OotP, will go with 6 & 7
Link: Ficwad - Fanfiction.net

This story actually caught me by surprise, mainly because I didn't expect much of it, so there wasn't any "let down" moment over my own self-created hype. The story itself and the plot aren't all that good, but the writer crossed over the Harry Potter universe with one of his own, extremely elaborated with plenty of details, and that's one of the things I enjoyed about it. He claims that he's planning to write a Sci-fi novel with this universe he's created, but for now he's incorporating it to his own HP fic. We'll see.

As for the fic itself, it's one of those in which Harry is transported to another dimension, in the arms of a race of technologically advanced "vampires" called the "Lantrisi" who own an empire founded on death and destruction. The rest, I'll leave it to you.

I'm kind of a sucker for sci-fi, so maybe that's why I enjoyed it. It may get tiresome sometimes, and it has some clichés, but still, I found it to be, at least, a pretty decent read.

 

What does an 'Error 503' mean?

"Error talking to backend"

Edit: FF.net down?

 

Seems like it. It was fine just a moment ago...

As it seems that FF.net is down at the moment, I added a Link to Ficwad

 

I lol'd so hard at this

How much more stupid can you get, it's like saying that I found an ultra super rare book on physics that is one of only 30 copies in the world and if Einstein knew I had it he would resurrect himself to steal it from me cause you know, its so uber and awesome like and it contains loads of uber information that basically no one knows.

Yeh.

 

True, yet I have the White Album of the Beatles in CD, but that doesn't stop me from wanting the original LP, rare nowadays and a collector's piece. The real question in there is 'If it's so rare, why did he find it in a common shop in Knockturn Alley?'

 

Meh, I suppose.

And LOL, Hermione wants to become a Lantrisi, like completely out of the blue, Harry tells her what he is and she goes of on some sob story about how she has always felt weak, then asks to become a fucking bloodsucker.

I think the author needs to work on his characters.

 

The concept of the technologically advanced vampires is interesting though.

 

Yes, it is, but the author is a long way away from writing a successful sci-fi novel.

Of course, now I have said that I am kinda worried that he is going to become the next JKR or someshit.

Nah couldn't happen...

/facepalm

Shouldn't have said that.

 

Lol, you can always edit it out.

 

It was meh. A 2/5, Harry is a uber vamp with big guns who can kill anyone by looking it feels like. His actions are stupid, and never acts logically. Its more like I'm reading about some super powered teenager then a 600 year old vampire who has killed more than his share. Concept is nice but badly pulled off.

 

Too much tech, not enough magic in my opinion. It's just not Harry Potter.

Still, if you forget that it's a Harry Potter story, the first part (the bit where he is in the alternate dimension) is good enough. It's when he returns to the HP world that things begin to go wrong: the two worlds do not mesh well at all.

Oh well, it's OK.

3/5

 

Heh... it was worth a good laugh...

3.5/5

 

Agreed 100%. Hell, if he'd kept it in the other world and just made it a semi-original fic I would have liked it more. The sci-fi parts, IMO, were very well done. The second he started interacting with other characters however...

If you're going to make Harry powerful, you need to give him powerful enemies. If he can kill Voldemort with one flick of a wand, why the hell hasn't he done it yet?

Edit: 3/5

 

Because his education is so poor he hasn't learned how to, of course. He needs some obscure magical artifact to teach him. :/

 

No new reason really, I agree with most here.

2/5

 

Sigh. I like my villains very powerful. Strangely, Voldemort is almost never portrayed as powerful or clever, merely hard to kill. Like a cockroach who might kill you, but won't because he'd rather have some sport with the giant foot hovering over him, waiting to crush him.

 

I think the story should have just been Harry's training and life amongst the Lantrisi. Combining the two story universes didn't work out so well.

At 600 years old, you'd think Harry would have developed some sense of maturity, but instead he acts like a child with far too much power.

...?

Chapters 12 and 13 made me give up on reading this. It just became clownish.

2/5, originality is important...but if you're going to make Harry a 600 year old vampire, let him act like it.

 

You actually got to Chapter 12/13? I stopped the moment Hermione wanted to become a Lantrisi for some contrived reason and Harry was actually considering her request. This will only end up with a super!Hermione (on top of Harry already having too much power), and a Voldemort that both can't seem to find the time or guts to kill either because they feel they do not know enough about him, or they feel they need more training, or some other half-baked reason.

Excluding the Lantrisi part, there is nothing here that I haven't seen in thousands of other indie or super!Harry fanfics, both bad and good (mostly bad).

1/5 only because the parts on the Lantrisi (technologically advanced vampires?) was mildly interesting. The idea was actually pretty good, but liberal use of cliches and poor execution doomed this fic to be unworthy of even the Trash Bin.

Oh God, no! He would be better off lending his universe to someone who can actually write.

 

The other world is not fleshed out enough. This is not like "normal" crossovers, where you know at least some basics about the other universe. It gets explained more in later chapters but it just gives you a hard time reading in it the beginning.
You know next to nothing about the society, how it works, how the Lantrisi reacted to a human (Harry) being raised there, if he felt inferior and so on... admittedly, his humanity it is only a short time compared to his 600 years in military, but still, more information would have been appreciated.

Additionally it ticked me off that he just told Dumbledore everything. And then goes and tells Hagrid the same even when he sent him away previously so only few people should know about him.

That quote I like.

But telling the whole order (at least the ones in headquarters) the truth about himself being no human any more without a secrecy charm is just plain stupid at that point in time.

And why should Sophia speak English with Harry? Or whisper with Harry when there is clearly stated earlier that Lantrisi prefer mindspeak and don't usually talk at all? She is an assassin, so she should value privacy and mindspeak can't be overheard.

It gets more interesting in the last chapter, politics and the merging of the two worlds is different to anything I read so far. But as often, humans are just portrayed as weak and get assimilated in a very short time. There is no real conflict as Harry is just too powerful with all the technology behind him. Humans have no chance to defend themselves. They have to accept or die.

And I still don't get why he has to be friends with Hermione and Ron and Ginny in the first place. Sure, they are the first "schoolmates" he gets to know, but still... he is 600 years old, he shouldn't be that interested in the opinions of 15 year old children.

In conclusion I would say you can pass the time with this story, but a bit of thinking on it would do wonders.

Edit: It took me some time to write it and it seems that I'm one of the few that went trough with the whole story. In the last paragraph of the last update it seems that Harry is getting a bit of equal competition as that Voldemort was acting on orders from outside.

Lucullus: Hermine is not the only one and surprisingly, Ron and co. are not under the volunteers for it. (at least I think so)

 

You've brought up a very good point. This is in fact debated upon in the "Rant on time-travel fics" thread in the Fanfic Discussion subforum. It is already unlikely that a 30 year-old Harry who travelled back in time would desire the company of the relatively immature 15-16 year-old Ron, Hermione and Ginny etc.

Furthermore, this Harry is 600 years old, far older than even Dumbledore? Would he honestly want to spend time hanging around teenagers who are on a far different wavelength than he is?

Not to mention Harry's bahaviour is far from that of a 600 year old wise military veteran who should have experienced pretty much everything life could throw at him.