Yes One of the best H/HR fic in Recent History.

 

Nice find, Palver. I enjoyed this fic immensely, from start to finish, with only a few problems. The summer between first and second year was rushed, random, and reminded me of the Pirates of the Caribbean 2 movie. Besides that, I can't say I dislike anything else.

The writing style was unique to most other stories and kept my interest a lot more then people said it would. As it was 'Harry' writing it and you, as a wizard reading it, were supposed to already know about Voldemort and other big events in history so their was no swimming through a muck of already known detail. That was a plus to the story and gave back that point I was going to take away for the summer scenes.

4.5/5, rounded up to a 5/5 because I really enjoyed how it was written and the author's view on magic. If I write some more stories, those will definitely be in them.

 

What I appreciate most about this fic is that the author is willing to greatly deviate from the canon plot.

Most fics seem to have trouble coming up with original plotlines that aren't just basic repeats of the original HP series--but this fic has managed to be original and creative (most especially with the ending of the recent chapter).

All in all, a very good fic and definitely one worth reading.

 

I was liking this fic untill the latest chapter (4), where the author sort of went off on a tangent. I dont know, 3/5 because of the first three chapters.

 

Great story 5/5. its also now on fanfiction.net
here http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3787073/1/

 

Well, I'm not really a fan of H/Hr, and to be honest the "She's my girlfriend, we're 12 and so mature!" bits really annoy me. I didn't care for the first chapter at all, as I found it (for reasons already mentioned here) fairly mundane and silly.

But that being said, the story really improved in many ways. Yes, there are many small technical mistakes (paragraph, dialogue, etc) throughout, and the biography style can be jarring at times, but this is really a very well written story.

I particularly liked the explanations of advanced magic and general magical theory, and the characterization of the adults, at least, was quite good. The kids... well, I don't know. Not enough Luna in that last chapter, and too much Draco. Way too much. Hermione is at least presented as a bit crazy, which isn't bad, but I dunno - their romantic attempts made me cringe.

I'm kind of intrigued by the general plot line, and yes, annoyed by the ship plot line. But I'd like to see where this goes before the ship sinks my interest. Hopefully it's not too soon, and like IP said, where they get married at 15.

3.5/5
-J

 

The story didn't really keep my interest passed the 1st or 2nd chapter. Plus its heading for H/Hr, which is a ship I greatly detest. I give it a 2/5. -.5 for getting bored, and -2.5 automatic for the blatantly obvious Granger ship.

 

It was updated by the way..Nice action.

 

Yeah, I liked his version of the Death Eater history. And it's always nice to see an author who's not shy of killing off characters.

Very good story.

 

Great story so far, love the detail and love reading a story were the muggle world isnt superior to the magical one.

After all it makes sense doesn't it? Magic is Magic, the impossible im sorry but the muggle world cant really compete with that


Oh and Richardc269, the story is on Portkey.org... the only shipping you will find in story's from that site are, HHr, D/G, R/LL. so just a heads up if it has "portkey" in the address don't bother reading if u detest the ship that much

luke

 

Hm...I found the action far too rushed in the last chapter.


It's nice, but this chapter showcases the current limitations of the writer. While the chapter had a good bit of action to portray, the tone, the 'tension' so to speak didn't really escalate... the writing seemed bland despite the content. And for that, while it's still pretty darn interesting, it isn't as good as the first few chapters promised it could have been.

Still, a solid 4/5.

Oh, and Ginny post Voldemort Possession, was pretty damn unrealistic.

Voldemort's strategy was also amateurish, for seasoned players (Like Dumbledore). IMO, Dumbledore should have known it was a feint. But it was still an interesting strategy, kind of like a 'Forced Move' in chess (to give that cliched comparison)

 

indeed one of the few worthwhile H/Hr pairings of this year. On the other hand, i am quite scared how heavily it derivates from Canon. There is absolutly no information at all about why it switches so drastically, which isn't a good sign and opens the author up to chaos if he isn't very carefull.
i'd give it a 4/5 now, but as i said i am quite unsure about how this will turn out in the next few chapters.

 

-0.5 for Hr/H

-0.5 for not being original (while it's not very cliche, there are million storys like this one)

-0.5 because it's boring (for me at least)

3.5

 

There are a million stories like this one? Please point them out cause I must be a blind son of a bitch but I haven't seen any fics where Harry writes his own autobiography and we read it.

And taking points off for the pairing? I clearly remember some admin saying that we can't just knock off a fic because of its pairing.

--

Anyways I found this story fantastic and clearly refreshing. It's presented in an interesting and unique manner all the while giving everyone beautiful characterizations. The only fault is that action is hard to write in this format but I can deal with it.

5/5

 

Harry writing his autobiography is just a way for author to tell us his story.

I meant the plot, it's been done millions of times, plot where Harry is prodigy.
Powerful, clever and manipulative, I'm tired of reading the same thing over and over again.

I'm taking points off because it should be Harry/OC, not Harry/Hermione.

Hermione doesn't have enough guts or power to get some muggles to think they're her parents, come on... it's as unbelievable as it gets!

 

It is boring when Harry manipulates Dumbledore effortlessly or beats Voldemort in a duel after a few months of training after OotP. Those fic's we have in abundance. In this fic however, Voldemort is almost infinitely superior with his skills, as is Dumbledore, who understands Harry and chooses a right approach with him.

Harry's other foes or allies are more deadly, more powerful and manipulative as well.

More mature Harry deals with increasingly mature problems. He is not cursing Slytherin's and playing superior with his classmates, or taunting Snape or something along those lines.

I am tired of stupid Harry. After all, you can only take so much AU where stupid Harry makes all mistakes over and over and over again with some insignificant differences.

I dont see something unbelievable: if Confundus charm was something all Six years could manage, following Hogwarts curriculum, then obsessed and brilliant student like Hermione certainly could cast it on muggles without mind defences in desperate situation, after some studying and training. C'mon, she brewed Polyjuice Potion in second year after all.

 

The problem lies in the fact a 12 year old Harry is bound to be stupid, at least at times.

Still, this is fanfiction. I don't expect absolute cohesion, except from the cream of ze cake.

 

I certainly don't see Granger doing anything thats against her morality of thinking. It would be plainly not her character if she does do this. Granger's a naive girl who doesn't believe in hurting other people, regardless of said person. She might be considered the brightest witch of her age, but thats only because she can think logically in a situation and get through clues faster than anyone else, except for Dumbledore or Moody, possibly.

And yes we can deduct points for the pairing, its our choice to, it might not be logical to some, but you get my point. Granger's personality never changed much from book 1 to book 7, that I've seen. (I've read bits and pieces of book 7, her personality is still the same). For her to get out of her naivety and her book mongering, it would maybe get out of her system in another 20 or 30 years. Of course that also applies to everyone, to be honest.

Take Harry's cannon personality, those scars will be with him 'till the day he dies, mental scarring is a lot worse than physical, they never go away, no matter how many years go by, this is something the Dumbledore character in the series never really truly realized. His whole "sacrifice one for the many" in the wizarding world, and his Death Eater redemption crap is just as plainly naive as Granger's way of thinking about the wizarding world. Anyway...you all get my point about it. (I'm pretty sure I'll get bitched about it, but oh well, this is new information to some people.)

 

I'll give this a tentative 4/5 for the nice descriptions of Magic, the Harry/Dumbledore relationship, and for not following the standard PS/AU standard, and retelling the books. Points are lost for 11 year olds having a deep, meaningful relationship. I'm not sure if I like the narrative structure, as Harry's autobiography, it grates on my nerves. But overall very nicely written.

 

This story owns.

Great writing style, effective use of 1st person, original descriptions of Hogwarts curriculum, terse but adequate characterization, realistic development of the HP/HG relationship (Hermione is shown as having flaws), impressive rhetoric especially when referring to the imaginary wizarding audience, and compelling differentiation from the canon plot.

Now, there definitely are flaws. CosmosGravitation is correct in stating that some choices are illogical, Chime?? is likewise correct in that much of the story is passive voice, and Jbern makes a valid point about Harry's maturity. I myself dislike the wizarding superiority. In this case, however, the author's writing style is far more than sufficient to bowl over these concerns, unlike authors such as WannaPlayKevinBacon. Adequate excuses can be made (as is the case with JKR) for the illogical choices and maturity. A secondary option is to merely ignore the problems; personally, I didn't realize them until they were mentioned, and most readers will not see the errors unless they are actively looking for some.

4.8/5