Feel sorry for that bitch's bf.

 

Check this one out.

My favorite quote:

A) I think we've found Yarrgh's secret alter ego.

B) Doesn't Mordecai claim to be King of Scots or some such?

 

You all thought that my profile was a bad as the following examples?? Thankfully I've changed mine, however that story "Love is in da Air" was a major joke between my brother and I. It was supposed to be parodying the stupidity of some of the authors on fanfiction.net. However something I didn't expect was that alot of people would actually take it seriously... o.o

 

My review-

 

Well... (takes deep breath)

Bajino is thinking of breaking up with Jon cause he thinks Jon is cheating on him, even though he's secretly seeing Venessa. Jon is pregnant with Azuma's baby but tell Jazmyns that its her, from the time they got drunk during Chrismas. Meanwhile Azuma and Aizawa are planing to stop Venessa in competing in the All American Pie making contest. Venessa, Kristy and Nezera are secretly forming a fashion corporation and planning to take over the fashion world. But Kristy is getting greedy and want to take it all by marrying Viliotin and then taking Jazmyns as a love slave. Meanwhile in the real world Stephnie ignorantly thinks it's cool to have MPD and completely unaware that Aliens have actually removed her brain and replaced it with kitty litter.

And MPD became cool to people who don't get enough attention as morons.

 

The profiles posted so far have absolutely nothing on this crazy slashslut:

If you need proof, here's the link: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/874677/HeatherLB

 

She weighs 21 stone and 5 lbs. O_O.

Chubby doesn't describe her, fat is a massive understatement, obese is stupidly simplistic.

Unless she is 8 foot tall and Wonder Woman in the muscle department she is fatter than any person I've ever met, and I've been to America.

O_O

 

Good. She won't be tormenting the world by posting anything at all since she won't be losing any weight.

 

Too true, too true.

The frightening thing is that this person was very quick in marking my stories for alert when I published the first chapters. It's like - post the fic then ZIP she's there. Is there anyway to forcibly cancel a person's alert on your story? Because I would really, really like to.

 

I think she is expecting you to write slash between Tom and Harry in To Define Treachery thus making you one of her favorite authors. However, it is entirely possible that she likes your writing.

In any case it seems like you have a stalker.

Good Luck Bro

 

Your ff.net profile is her homepage.

On her profle: It reads like a spelling and grammar sinkhole. (Could be worse though.)
Harco, eh?

 

Seriously? Her homepage is http://www.freewebs.com/aquamoonsailor/

If my profile was her homepage, I'm pretty sure of my ability to take of it. She gave potential flamers way too much ammunition.

 

I meant browser homepage Like for firefox or IE. So that every time she wanted to use the Internet, well.

Ahem.

Just wondering, how do you guys actually find or stumble upon these atrocious profile pages?

 

I'm guessing it's fairly simple. Either plug Harry/Ginny, Harry/Draco, etc. into ff's quick find thing and then scroll down the first page. Find a 'promising' summary then click on the author's name. Odds are in your favor.

 

DEAR GOD!
Get out of the house, and get a life. You're a girl, it'll be easy to get some 'companionship'. Read her story too.

 

honestly, what is she doing with her life? she fails miserably in every aspect of her loathsome little existence...........deserves pitchfork rape
_____________________________
Ability is what will get you to the top if the boss has no daughter.

 

Sweet jesus...I couldn't read her story passed the first paragraph. IT WAS HORRID! Holy shit on a spoon...

 

That is seriously the freakiest thing I've ever read on the Internet.

The good thing is if she's would be-sexual stalker level obsessed, she can only fantasize about mating with a greater roadrunner.

Which is an ordeal only one in eighteen women survive, because a Roadrunner can hump through the vaginal cannal if one isn't careful.

Men can use sex as a weapon as well, if only in a different fashion.

 

Well, shit. o_o I don't get how that'd happen, the roadrunner bit. I thought birds had cloacas and they "deposited" their sperm or whatnot.

As for that author's page, it sounds just like another silly girl writing silly stories thinking people will care if she swears or not. Not that ghastly, really. Just lame.

 

If you like reading/skimming through long, bolded, italicized, underlined profiles of little children who need to get a life click this link.

I found this profile in the HP section, though it appears that it's mostly Naruto. I think it qualifies for this thread though, have fun.