Ahoy, DLP,

I was just browsing through FF.Net (although I don't know why I still bother) and I almost had an epileptic fit when I saw five stories on the same page that all used the word 'Dumbles'.

Now, WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN ANYWAY? Seriously, every two-bit Indy story has the world 'Dumbles' in it and frankly, it's pissing me off. I don't know why, it's just one of my things.

Anyway, after a while I started to think of other names that I had heard for Dumbledore and I thought it would be good if we all put in names and come up with a Top 10 list of the most pathetic.

Here's a few from me.

1) Dumbles- Seriously pisses me off. Whenever I see people use this I feel the urge to kick a small puppy. What's worse, there are people here who use it during their introductions.

2) Dumb-dore- Sounds like it's coming from a nine-year old. "You're Dumb-dore! You're Dumb-dore!"

3) Dumbledork- Read above, except make it coming from a six-year old.


I'll let other people fill in some blanks. Feel free to add your own

 

Old Man.

How many Indy fic's around use this? I'd wager at least 50% of the Indy Library.

Sure he might be old, but he IS the most powerful Wizard in history and should promptly kick your ass for badmouthing him.

 

Your thoughts on "Dumbfuck"?

 

'Dumbly'. Also, the ever so witty 'that old coot'. Not as punny, but twice as annoying.

Edit: Forgot about 'old goat'. Actually, anything with the word 'old' in it sucks.

 

I just bleep over most of the "stupid names". I think the one I dislike the most
is "the Beaver".
How should a writer show Harry's dislike for a character?
Ass and Jerk are the curse words of choice for me when I am in mixed company.

 

Out of curiosity, just what is an enraged and betrayed Harry Potter supposed to call Dumbeldore?

 

Certainly not Bumblebore. Though that is one of the less crappy ones.

Now, Crumblefloor, that's one I haven't read yet.
Doesn't mean it's good -.-

And Moldieshorts? Seriously, it was funny one half time, then it got old.

Gawd, talking about this FFN-shit makes me angry.

 

I read one that said DumbleDon't once... was pretty stupid since I didnt make any sense at all.

 

How about... bastard, twat or anything a normal enraged teenager would call someone? These names do not sound like an enraged teenager, but a friend just trying to agitate a friend.

my opinion anyhow.

 

The Bumblebee.

And I have to second 'Old Coot.' Since I'm guessing that 'Coot' doesn't refer to this:

or this:

it must refer to this:

Really? A harmless, simple person? Dumbledore, who at 150 years old can still duel to a standstill the Darkest wizard of the century? It blows my mind.

All Quotes from Encyclopaedia Brittanica Ready Reference 2004 Cd-ROM.

 

dumb-old-dork
dumble bore

I think dumbfuck though fits as both a bastardization of the name and a reasonable term of loathing. Though not to his face directly - that's just stupid.

What's great about Indy!Harry is he's supposed to be so grown up, look at me with my vaults and Lordship and magic ring. I'm making my own decisions...and then I act like a four year old calling my two great enemies and coincidentally the two most powerful and manipulative wizards of a centry, Moldieshorts and Dumb door.

 

To be fair, I've never heard the word coot used in that context, to describe someone as weak or harmless.
Most people use the term coot to refer to an older person who acts a little funny in the head. Considering a lot of people, like Ron, think the headmaster is barmy and since he is undeniably old, the word fits. You rarely hear anyone get called a coot without the word 'crazy', the word 'old' or both attached to it.

Crazy old coot. You know, like a kooky old hillbilly who's breathed in too many of the fumes coming off his still... or Dumbledore.

I've always been partial to 'meddling old bastard' in my angry!Harry rants, myself.

But yeah, the dumb-as-a-door, dumb-old-dork, voldie-wart, moldy-shorts, et cetera does sound more than a little juvenile. Maybe if the Harry in question was still eleven years old, it would be appropriate but at fifteen, sixteen, seventeen?

It was funny for a brief, brief instant the first time someone did it. Now it's just proof that people are looking at existing fics for all their ideas.

 

Manipulative Bastard. Okay if I see it once but then scroll down. Manipulative Bastard. Okay Scroll down. "Manipulative old bastard! He's always ruining my life with [insert random insult using the words 'manipulating,' 'manipulative,' and, you guessed it, 'manipulation!']!!"

Most of the others listed already are the ones that bug me though.

Well, maybe that one fic with the letter (or is it a billion and fifty-nine fics). You know, where Hary writes his "independant letter" proclaiming that he's gonna live his own life and stuff. Where he called Dumbledore a "lemon drop eating mother fucker" I believe it was. Can't forget the lemon drop references you know.

 

What's wrong with lemon drops? Why do people have to bring an innocent sweet into insulting the manipulative old coot? Is calling him manipulative and old not enough?

And just because I feel like acting like an eight year old.



Found it on Mugglenet years ago when I first started getting into the fandom.

Aekiel

 

He should call him Dumbledore. How is anyone supposed to take him seriously if he calls him Dumbles?

 

Although I agree that "Bumblebee" sounds stupid, to quote wikipedia "The name "Dumbledore" is an old Devon word for "bumblebee" and was picked by Rowling because she imagines him wandering around the castle humming to himself".

But a few more rhyming oddities I don't care for:

1) Mumblemore
2) Dumblesnore
3) Fumblemore
4) Stumblebore

And it goes on... because too many things rhyme with "ore" or "umble". Damn umbleore.

-J

 

My personal top ten hates include some that have already been said but bear repeating:

Dumbles
Dumbledork
Dumb-Bumble
Dumble-Bore
Bumble-Dork

And various other chimera abominations that play on the words "dumb," bumble," "bore," and "dork."

It's all rather third grade, yes.

Calling him an old coot, a bastard, etc. is fine, since I use these all the time to refer to people with whom I am upset.

Strong cursing sort of makes me raise an eyebrow, though. I just can't picture Harry Potter calling Dumbledore a "goat-fucking punched cunt."

He'd probably have to ask Hermione what a cunt is, and why anyone would punch one.

Preferably, Harry should, rather than making up silly names and titles (Dork Lard, etc), refer to them in the same manner with which he has grown accustomed during canon, and adjust his manner of referring to people to match his mood. I think that a respectful, almost hero-worshipping character like Harry calling Dumbledore "Albus" has a great deal more impact (and sounds much more mature) than calling him "Bumbledork." And defiantly, yet casually, referring to the Dark Lord as "Tom" is much more effective than shouting "MouldyShorts!" and flipping the bird.

 

I'd like to see Dumbfuck.

I don't see why an author would have a strong need to snub Dumbledore in such a childish way. The good Independent!Harry fics have Harry outsmarting Dumbledore in a brilliant manner, but the uncreative ones have to resort to insults.

If the author does have that urge, their only option is really going to the extreme and unloading foul stuff on Dumbledore. The standardized "Dumbles" is no longer respectable. Either that, or they satisfy themselves with maturity.

 

Dumbles? That pretty much falls into the childish and silly category. I could see him maybe grumbling it out of the corner of his mouth... once... maybe. Calling Dumbledore that to his face or constantly referring to him as that, though, would be infantile.

In that case, come to think of it, I could see Ron doing it all the time.

Hehe, yeah, any of the ones that rhyme with his real name are pretty childish.

I did use it once though, in a fic I was fiddling with, but the whole point was that it sounded silly. The story was a comedy/parody.

Hermione runs into Harry, who's covered in blood. He tries to explain but she's so tired of all the weird shit that's happened around him lately that, for the sake of her sanity, she demands he present his explanation as a hypothetical situation, rather than something that actually happened.
So instead of relating a confrontation with Dumbledore, Snape and Draco in the headmaster's office, he tells her about a run in with three elves named Fumblemore, Snipe and Dorko. Something that involved 'pies'... It's all very mysterious.

You kind of had to be there...