Good chapter although I wasn't a fan of the pimp cane line, for one that explanation seemed a bit weak for the bouncer to let him through. A bouncer who knows about the Denarians because of Vesper, and since Vesper knows he's a Knight, the sword as well. It seemed kind of a lame comment.

Other than that I thought it was pretty well executed dialogue between Vesper and Harry. I was a big fan of the scene where you reveal Vesper destroyed her hosts mind. It was well captured and showed of the sadisticness of Vesper.

I hope to see the reasoning behind Meciel's curse and the explanation as to what it does (didn't quite understand it. Is it like the curse Dresden's mom out on Thomas's dad?).

 

Loved the chapter, great work as usual Shezza. I have only one thing I really want to bring up, and that is the question of why you went with the name of Vesper. It's been awhile since I read the Dresden books, but I don't recall a Fallen of that name, and I don't believe it is a true Angelic name. I know that most of the Fallen in the book utilize Biblically historical names, so I personally think a different name for her character would work better.

Just looking quickly at Wikipedia, I came up with this list... Some cursory reading makes me think that 'Naamah, demonic succubus', 'Rosier, demon of tainted love/seduction' or 'Verrine, demon of impatience' would fit her character.

Just my thoughts, and if I missed Vesper in the Dresden books or the Book of Enoch - or you just choose it because you liked it - then totally disregard this.

Cheers,
TheNoise

 

It's interesting that Shezza has not defined the pairing. Currently, there's no way it can be anything else but H/M, but if Harry is betrayed by her... there's a chance for H/A.

As much as I like H/A, I don't know how it would be possible without Harry abandoning/losing his awesomeness. Perhaps Shezza could be wheeled into doing two endings .

edit: I take this back. I suppose Shezza could have H/A and H/M, so long as Meceil gets over her jealousy and Amanda accepts the fact there is a hot demon inside Harry's head.

 

The opinions seem to be divided here. I personally am a Harry/Meciel shipper to ''infinity and beyond'', but does anyone have the actual numbers of how many people are on each side?

 

And you want to please Shezza don't you?

Do eet!

 

"Oh snap."

That was a horrible ending, Shezza.

 

That was another wonderful part.

5/5

 

Should be "have a history".

You probably meant "several sources of power"

The first "interrupted" in this sentence should be removed.

Haven't really scanned through the rest for mistakes.

I love your 'fire sprinklers' though.

 

So Meciel does have a plan for Harry after all... The elimination of the Order of the Blackened Denarius. Maybe this could open up a path to making it a trilogy, such as The Denarian Enforcer.

I personally find no flaw in this part. Can we look forward to part 2 on Thursday?

 

I thought a poll had already been done, back with one of the chapters in WBA?

Edit:

Here it is:

http://forums.darklordpotter.net/showthread.php?t=6628

 

I should imagine that Meciel's eventual aim is to free herself from her Otherworldly prison and to be able to take physical form again, or whatever she was before God gave her the smackdown. Getting rid of the Order would just be a step along the way.

Out of interest, why is there a bit in black in the middle of most chapters now?

And finally...

OMG! Harry = Merrill!

Now I think about it, their characters do have a remarkable similarity...

 

Now if Harry goes against god to free Meciel from her prison that would be epic...

 

Hi Shezza. Cool chapter once more.

Does Voldemort stand a chance however? I mean given that Harry knows he is under attack you would think he would have his strongest weapon at the ready. The sword was able to block Avada Kedavra even when Voldemort was powered by Azzeh so there should be no way for a spell powered by Voldemort alone to get through. And if Harry does not have the sword ready then he is an idiot since the main reason for doing the blades bidding and saving people is so that the sword will protect Harry in situations just like this. I wonder what you have planned.

The time for Harry's return to Hogwarts is rapidly approaching. I seem to recall you mentioning that it would be around chapter 10 that the events of the prologue would happen. One thing occurred to me about this however. Why exactly would Voldemort keep Harry's true nature a secret. I mean how hard would it be to send an anonymous tip to the press with information about Denarians, Meciel and Harry. Once it became known that Harry has a fallen angel in his head no one would ever believe his claims about Voldemort. Dumbledore too would be tainted by association since he has spent so much time protecting Harry.

A final comment about the curse on the coin. I always figured that the coins were pretty much indestructible. If it is possible to harm the coins then why havent the knights done it? Even if they can only be cursed then why is it that over the ages all the coins havent been cursed by someone. I somehow feel that maybe the curse was a bit too easy. Maybe you should emphasize the rarity and uniqueness of the curse on Vespers coin a bit more. Explain why she is the onlyone that carries such a curse(as far as we know anyway)

You were evil to leave it at such a cliffhanger! Write more quickly!

 

Harry vs. God.

Who would win?

I don't know much about the Dresdenverse so I couldn't say. How does someone like Maeve or Meciel compare to God?

Speaking of that, how do Meciel (free!Meciel, not trapped!Meciel) and Meave compare in terms of power?

Alternatively, Meciel's plan might be to get back into God's good books by killing off all the other Denarians, and as a reward she is given her freedom...

 

I'm afraid I would have to bet on God for that one .

Comparing Meciel to Maeve... In the coin she depends more on the host than if she was free, and since the Fallen (in Shezza's universe) are about as powerful as the Old Gods... I'd have to go with Meciel. Especially since she's technically an Outsider, though I'm not certain if she can shrug off magic like they can.

Last note would be that she couldn't get back into God's good books by killing people, immortal Fallen Angels or not. Not what he's looking for I imagine .

Good chapter/part chapter again Shezza, you messed up the title again though. Looking forward to the next part/chapter.

Aekiel

 

The power of christian God is never really specified(we don't know if he's omnipotent) but you can assume that he can could crush anyone else with ease.

Meciel or Maeve or even both of them wouldn't stand a chance against God.

If Meciel is in fact equal to old gods in power then free!Meciel is most likely way way more powerful than Maeve. However each of the fae courts has three queens and Maeve is the youngest one. So if Maeve(Lady) is incredibly powerful, then Mab(Queen) would be more or less a force of nature and Mother would just be off the scale. It might be worth noting however that Mothers of the courts are somehow limited in exercising their power - the Dresdenverse doesn't exactly state how but you can equal their involvement in anything with a divine intervention in terms of rarity.

I think that Meciel would be equal in power to either the Queen or the Mother but I guess that how powerful Meciel is is for Shezza to decide.

Excellent chapter overall - I can't find anything wrong with it. It's good to see that you're addressing the issue of Meciel's goals.

 

Just to weigh in on the discussion of power, I agree that the Christian God could probably blow away anyone with ease. He did, after all, not even have to deal with the Old Gods personally, rather his lieutenants (Angels) were able to handle them.

It's difficult to say what an unbound Meciel's power would be like... technically, as the Dresdenverse has played it, they are trapped in the Outside and linked to the physical plain via their coins. This is very different from the traditional view of what happened to the third of the Angelic Host that joined Lucifer in the rebellion against God.

I'd recommend the Book of Enoch to anyone who finds the whole fallen angel thing interesting; while it is not a part of this monstrosity, it is canon in several other churches that descended from other Apostolic churches besides Rome. People tend to forget that Apostolic churches existed in Constantinople, Alexandria, Antioch, and Jerusalem as well as Rome... but that's a whole tangent waiting to be gotten into. Anyways, Enoch was the great-grandfather of Noah, and one of three men in the Bible to ascend to Heaven without dieing. The Book of Enoch chronicles the War of the Angels and the aftermath - where the Fallen Angels went after the war. Interesting read.

Cheers,
TheNoise