He hits me coz he loves me <3

 

I personally think that the sign of a good author is to keep the characters "in character" based on new events that happen, while the end-case personality is wildly different, it would have logically ended up that way, within the bounds of logic based on the new events. On the other hand, changing side character's personalities is acceptable to me as well.

 

<_< No one understands my sarcasm. Fine, explanation time!

Explaining in one word: Bungle.

 

At first, I was reluctant to read this. It's not because I have any dislike for Luna, but because I do not tend to be captured by Luna's weirdness. This fic, however, was absolutely adorable and I can only hope that there's more to come. A well earned 5/5.

 

This story is rated FANGIRL APPROVED. Tehan, I'll have to ask you to forfeit your DLP membership card nao.

...And also, you're off the bowling team.

Lulz.

In all honesty though, 3/5. Decent writing, but the whole fluff and romance thing just doesn't work for me.

 

LULZ!
I seem to remember this little post of yours.

And now you're holding Bungle up as an example of how to do Luna right?

Your epeen hath become flacid and lifeless, Vash.

Your backpeddling is made of



Rest assured... Jbern shall hear of your holding his story up as a shining example of how to do Luna right. (Unless a certain un-earned neg rep is mysteriously and anonymously offset that is)

 

Either that, or you just completely missed the point of what Vash is saying in here. I'm betting on the latter.

 

Vash was being sarcastic man. Sarcastically saying that the only good way to write Luna would be to have her out of character, which is exactly what Jbern did. Every reader knows this is false, which either means, Vash is clueless, or its obvious sarcasm. He wasn't dissing this story and praising Jbern, he was trying to insult Jbern's story once again.

As for this story...

I really wish I liked Luna's character, I do. But I just can't stand her in the books, and for some reason, I only liked her character as it was done in the movies. I guess I just don't find her behavior amusing... only annoying.

She's similar to Hermione for me. I can stand her if she's in the background, but as soon as she stars in the story, her habits and behavior make me homicidal.

 

Honestly... I re-read it and I tend to agree...while it's got some fresh stuff in it, it's only good for a single read. I'm revising my rating downward. 3/5

 

I still give it a 5/5 because I'm not planning on rereading it. The first time through it is good, and that's what matters to me.

 

Tehannikins!

So far it looks good. Luna's characterisation is fine, the only thing that made me twitch was her line about Cho having "too much energy". I dunno, it sounded more Dresdenish than Luna-ish to me. Among all of Luna's inventions, this bit kind of lacks originality. The rest is brilliant, however. Best Luna I've ever read about. She must be one of the most difficult HP characters to figure out, and she's certainly one of the most butchered characters in fanfiction.

Harry was well-done too, save for a few tiny little details... He handled the crying Cho surprisingly well. Let's face it, he's my favourite male character in the books (or close enough) but at this point of his life he's about as gifted at handling crying girls as I am at writing smut in ancient Greek. That said, the scene was believable enough, so I'm just nitpicking really.

Harry's a... very smooth character, all in all. No bursts of anger, wishes to obliterate Snape or Umbridge, annoyance, panic at Cho crying... Well maybe I'm missing a few details, but that's the general impression I got. Of course there isn't much to comment upon yet, so that's just a little piece of advice for your next chapters: don't make him too mild. Even if Luna's presence might be soothing, he's still supposed to be a rash teenager with a bad temper.

Love the teachers. The passage where they all work towards preventing Umbridge from getting a look at Harry and Luna had me laugh out loud. Gossiping!McGonagall is very refreshing, too.

Grammar/spelling-wise, I spotted a few typos, a couple of extra words that need to be removed, and some misconjugated verb somewhere I think. Nothing too drastic, though. Nice language, humourous, concise and clear; Harry's point of view is well-done. Dialogues are good, although you should be careful about one thing:

Having your characters say each other's names (or a substitute) when talking is fine, but... once or twice in a whole dialogue is enough. The bolded "Ron" is the one that struck me as the most awkward. You don't often say your interlocutor's name when conversing in real life.

Last thing: your wordcount is heartbreaking. You've got an average wordcount of 1699.75 words per chapter (so what, I had a calculator within reach ), and that's with the AN's and chapter titles. Me needs more meat!

That's all, I think. Good beginning, but too early for a rating. Will come back for more, though ^_^.

 

Tinn Tam, is this just an extremely subtle way of saying that you're good at writing smut in ancient Greek?

At this point, I'm glad that Harry isn't another clueless dolt, as he's portrayed that way to an extreme. His handling of girls is another refreshing aspect of the story.

 

Really, really, really subtle then. Wait, no. Just no. Although the Greek did have that one verb meaning, "to grab someone by the balls and squeeze"... I think Aristophane was the one to use it in that one text we translated in class. But the subject of the verb was male. Ah well.

Ahem. Back to the subject at hand.

Whatever... I call that OOCness myself, and it just happens to be a pet hate of mine. And being bad at handling crying people isn't being a clueless dolt, it just means that you wish people wouldn't transform into hosepipes when you don't know them that much to begin with, and expect you to handle it...

/is bad at handling crying people.

 

...



Sums up my thoughts pretty well.

You have to be the densest motherfucker on DLP. Seriously.

I was mocking Bungle. Yet again.

For your retarded purposes alone, I shall explain:

I, being Vash, do enjoy Luna quite a bit, especially canon Luna. Having read all but the first chapter before they're publicly posted, I enjoy this story a lot. Ive told Tehan this many many times.

That comment in the sig was based on an old thread I was reading the day I added it.

Do you get the sarcasm nao, newblet?

 

Seems to me a few people can't read small white print.

 

Inventive if nothing else. a little short, but I'd wager a guess that it's still a work in progress.

4.8/5

 

I'd generally agree with you, but remember that this is happening during OoTP and he IS a clueless dolt during this time. It would good if he eventually breaks out of that mold, but not right away.

 

It's great, like I said in the WBA thread. 5/5 for doing a sweet job with Luna's character and believably converting Harry into something decent.

 

I liked it. Now get crackin' on the next chapter, slut. That's a 5/5, btw.

 

Oh, well done.

I particularly enjoyed the free flowing and easy nature of the story. I needed that.

4.5/5

(5/5 if it were longer)