Hi,

Im a new member here. Ive been reading stuff about other fanfics the critisism here and all that but never had much input or what i wanted said was already said and asked. Anyway im asking your input on an idea i have had in my head and if i dont get it out it will start killing me lol.

Anyway here is my idea:

A Harry Potter/Stargate crossover.

Anyway after 5th year Harry snaps from the hypocricy. Now im not going to go onto the whole greiving over Sirius thing because i think that its bull, he only knew him for 2 maybe 3 years and only saw him for maybe 2 -3 weeks in the whole span of time, so he probobly didnt get too close to Sirius.

So basically he is thinking that its partially his fault that Lestrange sent Sirius through the veil but also Dumbledores and Voldermorts and Snapes. So that gets him down but also angry. Then also the supposed abuse given to him by the Dursleys his first 10 years of his life also comes to the fore so that adds to his already hate strained mind. Since he reactivated his subscription to the prophet he recieved his first paper a day after he arrived back at Privet drive. Reading and gettin even more angry at how suddenly he's their hero again after all the torture the Ministry and its people inflicted on him he finally snaps.

Now i beleive that Harry in cannon is kinda messed up. As most fanfics have that he was harmed and stuff during his first 10 years at Privet Drive there are only 2 ways he could come out of it. Hard with a shell that keeps everything out until trust is gained or a pathetic malleable little urchin who cant say his own name. Now in cannon he has the emotional range of a normal 11 year old, maybe a bit shy but still, which should be close to impossible.

Now for the sake of the story I would go with hard shell harry that found out early in life that showing who you truley are and what you can truely do can be a bit of a problem for you. An example would be getting thrown in the cupboard with no dinner for bringing home better grades than Dudley.

Anyway he snaps and decides he doesn't want to be a citizen of the British wizarding world because of its corruption. Making a plan he needs to find out about other wizarding ministries and countries to see which area would be better to live in. To do so he needs newspapers and a bit of inside info. So finding an order member like Tonks or the twins or someone like them, you know cheery and carefree and no problems causing trouble, to get the papers for him for the last several years from several major countries. Now a few days later he gets the papers and makes a startling discovery, the whole wizarding world has some form of corruption in their government, some less then Britain some on the same level but none have more. Thus he loses his trust in the world governments, i mean how incompetent can a government be that they allow terrorists free access and then need a baby to stop a terrorist from further destroying. So figuring out that it will not be smart to say in the wizarding world for too much longer he decides that something has to be done. Remembering sneaking into the Hogwarts restricted section and glimpsing through some books and a passage showed in the forefront of his memory. It was something about how runes had great power that couldnt be controlled with wands.

Now I'm not sure if its true or not but i beleive Runes work in the same way or closeley related to Seals in the Naruto world. You know certain seals get you certain effects but others combine and cancel out some but boost others or some such.

Anyway he gets quite interested and asks again the twins or tonks or whoever to get him some beginner books, good beginner books that would not likely be used at Hogwarts as part of the curriculum. So with nothing better to do with his time besides be angry which would be counter productive after deciding he wanted out of the corruption he starts reading and creating basic rune configurations to ease his life and help his understanding of runes. Now after his first week he would try to create a feild that would speed time up inside while keeping the outside the same, so he could get more and more of it. Also the under age magic restrictions would not impede him because he wouldnt be using a wand to power the runed object he would just take his internal magic and transfer it to the object at a slow pace so that it wouldnt seem too unnatural especially if its too small to catch the charms monitoring his home and area.

Anyway since the Dursleys leave him alone thanks to the threat from Moody and the order just watches outside for anything to happen he has alot of free time and since he could have Dobby bring him food ( though i dont see why he didnt do it in cannon) he can be fed and stay away from the Dursleys for his whole stay. Now the rune that speeds up time in an enclosed space would give him much time to learn alot of what he needs to know. One of which was how to convert different energies into the energy that magic is. While outside on one of his "off hours" from studying he picked up 2 things accidentally he heard how meditation helps clear ones mind and how some new technique was created for harnessing and distributing solar power and what it could help with the expensive power problem.

So he would go to the library for a book on meditation and basically learn rudimentary Occolumency. During the non meditation portions of his days he would work on runes to collect solar power as efficiently as possible and converting it to magical power which he could store in a bracelet or something but not in his body or just allow it to slowly fill his "magical core" which would mean he would be forcing his body to be able to hold more magical power. So that would take about all the time he would have until he had to get his school supplies.

Now he would go to the school and everything act a bit colder to those he didnt like all the while building a support base.

Now the thing is that he would want to start a new government but also stop voldemort from taking out his agression on muggles since with the corruption the government messed up. Voldermort and his people kill a couple muggles those that are left alive that saw what happened or the family of those that were killed gets nothing. My view is like this Voldy and his DEs kill you brother and you see it, the magical government comes and instead of getting some kind of compensation for loosing your brother to a terrorist of a government you dont know about which they cant control, you get obliviated and they tell you your brother was driving drunk the night before and killed the rest of those that the DE's killed in a car crash.

So i would have go to the shops in diagon alley or something and get a crystal or something and take the runes i used to create the power amplifier for himself into a power source for a Wizarding World Ward. Basically those who were in the Wizarding world would be unable to move into the muggle world. Now i know what you're saying, you would need a whole lot of power to do that my answer is simple create 3 or 4 of the collectors for the solar power. Then hook them all into the ward but take the collectors and take as much power as you can and send them at the sun so they hit orbit, thus you get tons of power collected per second which would feed the wards on the wizarding would and then boom its chaos for Voldemort since his main "campaign" base is gone, no access to muggles, no muggle bornes so he cant really blame it on them anymore except those that are left. now i would key the ward to himself and those he allowed with him so the muggle borns could leave if they chose to but only once.

This idea i got from The Power of Revenge by God of Death and Disease. he would start his own government and such outside of the wizarding world. This is where stargate part comes in. Ide have to figure out a way to get him off the planet and onto an uninhabited world with all his "followers". They would get use a bit of the power that is powering the Wizarding Wards and use it to form a pseudo wormhole that would take them their is my best guess. Now we have rebuilding and a bit of contact with earth for current technology and how "magic" could be used to make them better. So they would start a society and under a similar time ward as he used in his own home to learn the basics of runes he would use it on the whole Solar system they would be in. By using the same principal that powered the Wizarding ward. Now at 200 years later in time warp the society is fully sufficient and everything the time ward goes down and due to the "magical power" coursing thought his body and everyone on the planet that they chose the all look like they only aged maybe 30 years tops, those with more power had looked younger. Now since he would give the same technique to increase his reserves to all his people they would all age much slower than even the most powerful wizard on earth.

Harry would be the base of government stating rules and how crime would be monitored and how were connected to the governement. As long as they didnt commit crimes and contributed to society they would be left alone, crimes were punished, and lazyness was discouraged. The finer deatails still have to be worked out.

Anyway now with 200 years on a planet and muggle borns being part of the first there, the problem of inbreeding was acknoledged.

The it would go into how they started to check earth for muggle born witches and wizards who would then be brought to the new planet at a certain age and taught also the parents were invited and also given longer lives becasue while they couldnt manipulate the magical power they could get the benefits of it running through their bodies such as stronger immune systems and longer lives, aswell as slower aging. (Which is possible because if you body has enough energy then your immune system is strong, which means diseases and sicknesses are less likely to infect or spread, which means you would have a longer natural or semi natural lifespan.) So the population of the planet would grow. I dont know how i would do the economy or anything but thats for later.

Now im taking this from experience but alot of people are interested in space exploration so i dont think others wouldnt be. Anyway since the planet harry and co are on is earthlike then there must be other worlds around that could be explored. Thus starting the space exploration portion and building ships and such stuff which will eventually lead to them finding about the goauld and other humans, which again will lead them to getting into the war against the goauld, an alliance with earth and other advanced human planets and taking on the goauld as a whole. Maybe even throw in a cure for the Jaffa dependace on symbiotes after proving that the goauld are not gods im not sure.

Anyway thats basically the outline of what i want to do. Any critisism is welcome, flames will be flooded with as much water as i can find.

Thank You
Raigex

 

Urge to kill: Rising

/me takes off for half a dozen hours to calm down from reading this. Goes shopping for food, visits parents, and finally might have fixed his [rant] god damned, bios corrupted, partition losing, file system failing, 6x OS re-installing, 5 days horror inducing, piece of shit, [/rant] kick arse PC. I'll test it after this post.

Yeah, I'm calm now. I've re-read your fic idea. It's been churning around in my brain for most of the day. Eww.

I'm going to assume that you're genuinely looking for help with your fic idea, and not some sock-puppet/troll looking for lulz. Your post fails in innumerable ways - if you hadn't put so much effort and length into your outline I'd count it a troll and leave it alone. On the slim likelihood that you're for real:

You have four separate stories here: Upgrade Harry 2.0 (with plugin techno-magic); Harry Builds the Great Wall of Wizardom (with globe-spanning plugin techno-magic); King Harry in Space (with solar system-spanning plugin techno-magic); and Harry the Galactic Unifier (who will cure the alien Jaffa of their religion before breakfast. Maybe. You haven't decided whether to throw that in yet.)

Upgrade Harry 2.0

Harry is alone at the Dursley's after Sirius' death. You want Harry to train and improve himself. His motivations are: disillusion/hatred of the authorities, Sirius' death, and the Dursley's. He wants to free himself from tyranny by gaining power, so off he trots to learn about runic magic. He makes stunning progress in a field of magic he knows nothing about by reading it from a book! Indeed, within a week he's created a DBZ-like time distortion field so that he can train for longer while the world slows to a crawl outside. Amazing. Every wizard should have that book. Never cram for a test again: just study our book for one week and you too can have your very own Room of Spirit and Time.

Hasn't Hermione been studying Ancient Runes for years? We haven't seen any time-distortion fields from her... maybe she's retarded.

These Harry in Training stories have been done to death. Yours offers nothing new. It's implausible, fails canon, and worst of all, is boring. You have no tension, no conflict, no real plot. Where's the Harry vs. Environment, or Harry vs. Antagonist(s). You know those boring training montages they have in movies (esp. 80's movies) where the lead character gets into shape/does a lot of research/etc. in a few minutes of rapid cutscenes and pumping music so he can win his struggle? You just dragged that boring couple of minutes out into a long passage of writing. Don't waste your time.

There are good fics out there where Harry improves in leaps and bounds. But none of them focus on the training. They focus on telling a story. Engaging the reader. Keeping me goddamn entertained.

This training story is just a lead up to the real one:

Harry Builds the Great Wall of Wizardom

This fails for lots of reasons, but I'm going to pick on one major one. You are conflict averse.

Harry, dissillusioned by the Wizarding World's governments sets up a group of likewise disaffected wizards who are intent on rebelling against their home land governments. Then, instead of fixing the problematic governments and reclaiming their homeland(s), they cripple them with the Great Wall of Wizardom and then run away with Harry to the promised land of milk, honey, and a fair non-representative government (under the gentle guidance of a wise and benevolent dictator).

Also, incidentally, they defeated the Death Eaters. Just a side-benefit of The Wall. No ultimate throwdown with Voldemort required apparently. I'm sure he was quite surprised to read about his defeat in the Daily Prophet from the comfort of his evil lair.

If there's one thing that all long-term corrupt regimes know, it's how to put the smackdown on rebellious elements. Did none of these wizarding governments take action against Harry building up a rebellious faction/private army/whatever? Did they just let them pack up their furniture, kids, gold fish and walk off into another world?

Let's look at the wall itself. It was built by a teenage kid, who studied runes out of a book, which was written by experts who've likely studied all their lives, but never knew they could build a honking-big, impenetrable, criminal/auror/war-proof wall out of it. I bet they're kicking themselves now. Harry built this wall out of runes, magic solar panels, and a crystal he bought from goddamn Diagon Alley.

I knew those shopkeepers were holding out on me! Where can I find this world-conquering magic crystal shop? And while I've got you here, where did Harry get enough obedient wizards to follow him through a portal to an uncivilised, lonely world where he would be their king?

I'm not going to go any further in this section, it's time to move on to:

King Harry in Space

This is the Harry in training story re-written as the chronicling of the growth of a new nation. Few people read chronicles in real life because they are boring. This story has no dramatic tension, no conflict, no real plot, and no mentioned character development. Oh yeah, it also has the Magical Time Distortion Field upgraded to cover an entire solar system. Why? It doesn't matter how fast your society evolves on an isolated planet - it's still going to be the same length of time from the people's perspective inside it.

The outline also has some technical rubbish about everyone living for hundreds of years but only aging thirty as a side effect of the super-incredible magic flows, and some people travelling back and forth between the two worlds somehow. Like the Wall's creation in the previous story, I don't really understand (and don't want to) how this can be.

Harry's long-lived society is controlled by a totalitarian government, ruled by a dictator, that acts incredibly invasively in individual's lives right down to monitoring how each person contributes to society and whether or not they are lazy. Father Harry has a firm grip on his society it seems. It's been hundreds of years under a powerful dictator, where is the rebellion against him?

Harry the Galactic Unifier

This is the SG1 crossover part of the tale. None of the previous sections have anything to do with SG1 whatsoever.

Even you don't seem to know what you want here. Somehow the New World has become technically and industrially advanced enough to start manufacturing space ships, which leads to run-ins with the Goauld. Harry unites the disparate good guys, gals and aliens and takes the fight to the evil Goauld. Because no one else could. I'll bet that the SG1 team are going to be thankful and will want to be Harry's best friends too.

What's next after this? Defeating the Ori and the Wraith at the same time with one hand tied behind his back? Don't forget that lengthy, boring pre-story you seem to want to write.

Get back in your box, Mary Stue.

Yak.

I hurt you because I love you

btw. Admitting that you stole your runic system of magic from Naruto is like admitting you stole it from Charmed. But worse.

 

It's an interesting idea at its very basic level: Harry leaves the wizarding world, creates a Stargate-like wormhole using magic to go to another planet, starts his own society, is immortal, much time passes, Harry is now the leader of a pretty cool civilization, they go out into the galaxy and kick arse.

A bit far fetched, but enjoyable all the same.

The problems come in the details, pretty much all of which need revising.

 

Let me just say I wholeheartedly concur with yak. Everything there is to say about that...idea, he's said it. I'd advice the topic starter to read through that post carefully and scrap the harebrained idea. His post deserves a good repping IMO.

The whole "zOMG let us escape to this nirvana of a world I created out of magic" plot device smacks of the Avalon Equations used in Bobmin's "Wizard's Fall", which isn't that great a fic either.

 

Ok for your first point on the "upgrade Harry". From what I have seen so far from the fanfics and cannon the wizarding world is lazy. Extremely so i might add. you have corrupt politions who no one says anything against because they dont care and it doesnt affect them particularly. sure you have some who stand up against them but they get slandered and taken down really quick. But those are the ones that are publically against them.

Now for the time distortion. I dont beleive its extremely difficult to do something like that. you have time tuners which send you back in tie x amount of hours or days, so time space manipulation is possible, and as for other wizards not really discovering it, as ive stated before they are perticularly lazy. They find something then they dont really improve upon it. Like the brooms, sure brooms are nice but i doubt they are comfortable, so why not use the same charms and tweak the techniqes a little bit to create somthing new that could fly, like they had flying carpets before. Now ok i can concede the point that hermione finding the space distortion runes much more plausable because she would use it to study. But i can also say that the books that they would be using in school that hermione would learn from at first are meant to be dumbed down so children could understand it. And for harry to under stand books that are a bit more advanced but still beginner, like i said he hides much more than he lot on (aka smart harry was smart but kept it hidden form the Dursleys until Hogwarts then seeing how his smart friend is treated by everyone else he keeps up the act while still learning what would be ok).

And ok the training would not go on much more than 2 chapters if that because i also hate too drawn out trainings, but you do need a background of how he figures this stuff out like seeing a cartoon or fantasy movie on the tv and trying to recreate it, because as its been said magic really has little bounds but the imagination.

Now im not saying the great wall would be some new ward or charm he would take an old existing one and superpower it. I mean convert pure solar power which could power the planet if harnessed correctly into magical energy, then funnel that energy into some obscure wards that were only used in ancient times because of the power requirements, ive seen something similar done in other stories accross the fan fiction scene.

Now I can see why some big battle with Voldy can be a big turn off for the story, but Im not saying he is not going to take out Voldy, because currently he is weak magically and really no match for Voldemort. All his scraps he got out with luck and help from people who were injured or magically powerful. Now the point of the Great Wall of Wizardom as you so aptly named it is simple. Sure muggles hurt him but he doesnt know enough other muggles to blame every one like Voldy does otherwise ide have to have him go dark and help voldemort take out all the muggles and then take him out himself. The point of the wall is to do what the magical world wanted done in the first place total seperation, then when they finally figure out that they need muggles for alot a change will happen because back even the most wimpy person into an corner and faced with death he/she will become a rabid animal, people do weird things to survive. Thus he would force the WW to shape up or perish, but still Voldy is there. I figure after some time of him terrorizing them they will either fight back in full force or submit. Also the magical crystal, it doesnt have to be a magical crystal, just a jewel large enough to channel the power necessary, then to hide it put up a fidelus and boom no one knows of the crystal to destroy it if it comes to that.

Also i never said it would be a non representative governement, it would have council of sorts to lead the world he created, but they would be bound to do whats best for the people not screw the people to elevate themselves like was done by Fudge.

Now for the tension and having them become a technologically advanced world in a short time. I never said anyting about technologically advanced world. They dont much technology, there would be no point because the technology they used on earth was incompatible with magic. They use magic and spells sustained by an outside power to emulate the technology of the time and push it foreward. They are not a technologically advanced civilization, they are a civilization whose basis is magic, which will be a major stumble later on.

Also i said they would use some technology from earth, i never said they would travel back and forth, Im saying they are wizards and witches so they just go to a store take a couple things pay for them and transfer them off planet to study what they do and what can be emulated and upgraded with magic.

Now ive just seen the part with the leaving you have a problem with. The government cant stop you if they dont know what you are doing. Thats why it would be a slow process. Get some followers that beleive as you do but make sure that they are unable to speak of it to anone outside the group. Also the government doesnt really monitor small movements of people unless they suspect something. Now getting out would be a problem if they got found out but can be handled by an escape plan, make the pseudo wormhole inside the Hogwarts chamber of secrets and when it looks like the shit is gonna hit the fan bail out of the planet and as a last resort activate the Magical wall.

Now space ships are not that difficult to explain if you read the broom argument a bit higher in this post. Now you have people who are good at conjuring, transfiguration, charms, and stuff like that because they chose to study it, and now they have power to spare because their bodies recharge magical energy naturally and unnaturally. So is it really that difficult to conceive:
-Decide you want to explore space
-Find out what you need to do for it not to kill your people
--Breath in space can be taken care of by a variant of the bubble head charm
--materials to build ships can be either mined out of the planet with magic or perminantly conjured.
--Now you would need to be protected form outside space and distruction, charm the materials unbreadable as ive seen done in much fanfiction (aka unbreakable sword, Harrys glasses or some such)

Now to the plot of the goauld, they would stay out of it as much as possible, sure they would explore but they dont have war ships that the goauld have, also the goauld would want to take them as hosts, which would pull the attention of many goauld form earth and other technologically advanced areas of space, because who wouldnt want to have a being of such power as a host.

Also this is just a rough outline of what i want to, i will incorporate conflicts between harry and some of the ideals of his followers, aswell as other beings in the galaxy. I hate a story where you have an uberpowerful harry with nothing to balance it out, be it someone more powerful magically, smarter and more cunning, or a variety of problems that can happen.

I hope i answered at least part of you arguments yak.

And thanks for the semi support Tuare

any other criticism is very welcome since i have tons of ideas in my head but would like to know which would work partially or which would be just plain stupid.

 

My eyes just kinda glazed over at the wall-o-text in your post, OP. I don't know your name, so I'll just call you OP for now. Yak does make a few good points though. What you have going for you now is the standard cookie-cutter "Indy!Harry" plot, with an uberwall and Space added to the mixture. Spice it up a little, have him run into SG1 or one of the other teams or something. Anything to draw attention away from the fact that, once Harry gets into Space and forms his civilization, the story is basically over.

And what happens to Voldemort? Does he choke on a bite of apple one day? Does he eventually take over the world? Does he decide to give up the Dark Lord business and become a ballerina in a pink tutu? You've GOT to tie up the loose ends.

 

I didn't read the rest because this bit is more than enough to tell me all about this fic... It's gonna suck. I read a story like this in English class once (back when I was in school), it had everything. Literally. It had space monsters, giant squids, vampires and werewolves, and superman to save the day. That was written by a 10 year old. It would be excusable because he was 10 years old. This would not be.

Time distortion being easy? What kind of world do you live on? It's not like you're messing with the very fabric of what makes the universe tick, right? Not like the whole thing is studied in the most secretive department of the entire Ministry of Magic, right? Not like you could learn it in a week, right? Wrong. There is a reason time manipulation is not used for everything. If it were so simple even Harry could learn it in a week we'd have seen it used by Obliviators, by Dumbledore (who is Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, so he's got the credentials) or even the Minister of Magic.

That is all.

Aekiel

 

Good Lord, the more you try to defend your plot, the more epic fail it exudes.

Time manipulation easy, just that wizards are lazy? You do realize that it is being researched on in the DoM for god knows how long already right? And Harry here learns what the Unspeakables couldn't in a matter of weeks? Now, Harry actually being smart but was just hiding it? No, no, at times in canon Harry was truly moronic. You also still haven't answered how Harry finds his Great Jewel of Uber-Magical Power in a shop in Diagon Alley. If it exists, why the hell wasn't it bought before? Oh wait, don't tell me- nobody else knows of it's existence right? Only our "smart" Harry here somehow finds out its existence and true value from a book right? /sarcasm

I'd just give this up already. It sounds horrible enough and there's no need to make things even worse

 

The fact is is that if time distortion; fixing Harry's eyes with a quick spell; building mansions in trunks; taking entire solar systems and cutting them off from the rest of the universe (which opens doors to horrific physics possibilities); and all the restwere easy then someone would have done it a long time ago, and not some kid who's slid by on Hermionie's help in school for most of this years at Hogwarts.

 

I have to agree with Yak...

Your answer about how it would be perfectly natural for them to build space ships to explore and eventually fight the Goa'uld. All I can see from your explanation is wizards able to conjure unbeatable space ships in half an hour at most and suddenly would they have a fleet of space ships larger then any Goa'uld fleet...

 

All right ive thought it for a while and you're right it is pretty diffictult to beleive this stuff. But I have also been thinking of some changes.

Instead of Harry just learning time manipulation and stuff from a book which like i said above your right its stupid, he wouldnt need to.

Ive been thinking of this. Like 200-300 years into the future the wizarding world is gone. The fifth or sixth dark lord after Voldermort started another war that spilled over into the muggle world, now i belevie 200-300 years into the future war technology will be quite powerfull, which includes scanners, powersystems and all that stuff. Anyway it spills in to the muggle world and the most populated areas of the wizarding world will get destroyed by the muggle governments who are sick and tired of wizarding affairs that spill over into their own world without any benefit to them.

This part ties into the stargate universe. Harry spending some time out in the world learning all sorts of magic but concentrating on runes obtained an old book from a long dead magical civilization about Ascension a shedding of your corporeal body and living in a state of pure energy. Now being old and having enough power to actually do it Harry ascends like the ancients of the SG universe. Although he doesnt ascend to their plane of existence but several below it so he has above average abilites but the ancients cannot do anything to him because their rules forbid them from interfering on the lower plains. this would explain why he is around 200-300 years into the future. Anyway after seeing how he couldnt change the wizarding worlds blood purity prejudice, and now it wiped it out along with most of the magical potential.
So he starts a plan, do what merlin did, recreate a magical civilization. Decending back to human form, he keeps his memories and all he learned about earth and what is out on other planets (people from earth that there are other planets out there capable of supporting life so he knows, he is like a watcher, look, record, but dont interfere). After reobtaining human form he goes looking for the alteran time puddle jumper to go back.

After that its some of what i wrote above but not as ubersmart uberpowerful Harry/ harry's civilization.

What do you think of this

 

I don't know anything about Stargate, but the most interesting thing I see is Harry being able to switch planes (not plains, just so you know), thereby avoiding interference from the Ancients.

 

yea those are the planes i meant i must have misspelled it

Also he isnt able to switch planes just ascend to a single plane and then descend later. which i dont get why the ancients didnt do it but o well

 

Wait why would Harry be alive for 200-300 years...I'm not sure if that would be a SG1 thing or a natural effect of Wizarding life spans...because they don't live that long.

Well I know it has been done to death on another thread, however the thing which seemed most non-believable to me, out of every post you made, was that muggles would at some point be able to defeat magic.

Magic is magical and muggle technology would never change that, even with 200-300 years of advancement, nor would they be able to defeat the casters. (Assuming no knowledge was stripped from them) Apart from that, I can't see anything to complain about...you never specifically said you wanted to write something great and innovative, and the idea you thought up, was probably because in your view: it is a perfect Harry Fanfic.

I mean there are thousands of indi!Harry fics that use the same horrible cliches, and for some of them the fangirls are just catching up, so there will still be many more of the same filler and horribly thought out plots to come.

And if you like it write it if you want, just remember not to cringe in the later years when you re-read it.

 

Then go watch the series again or google/wiki it.

 

Ok here is what i find kinda messed up with the ascended ancients in stargate they ascended once so that means they know how to. Also in stargate cannon it has been said that there are other planes of existance other than the one the ancients are on. Also if you can ascend that means you can decend, like it said merlin did in the last season. So why couldnt harry do it himself ascend then descend when he didnt like how stuff was going.

Also thisperson: I said he would alive but not corporeal he would be ascended. Ascended beings have no limited life span from what i saw as they are pure energy. It shows it in the sg universe ancients have been around as ascended beings for tens of thousands of years.
Also magic and technology are 2 different things but put enough power into an explosive and you can take down just about anything.
I want to write this story because the only stories that have harry in space is where he is alteran, a tokra/gould host, and just trying to fix up problems in the stargate universe. What I want to do is have him create a seprate magical civilization because he saw this one as on the way to collapse, and figured it would be difficult to start a new one with muggles as advanced as they are. Aswell as them having nothing to do with SG1 or stargate command until they absolutely have to.

 

Well, whatever it may be in the end, you can still write it. You probably won't post it anywhere, but writing it can do nothing but improve your skills. When you finish the first few chapters, you will re-read what you have written so far, and you'll see what's wrong.

When you find a good idea for your plot, you must as yourself why this would be a good idea. Find arguments and counter-arguments.

In this case, Harry learning powerful runes from a book in the restricted section, or worse, figuring things out of a 'beginner' book as you've said, is just a bad idea because:

- If it were possible, other people would have discovered way before him.
- If such knowledge existed, the one who discovered would never share it in a book; he'd take it to the grave.
- Wouldn't it be more interesting if you have Harry rely on things that exist instead of some runes only he knows about? I mean, why bother doing runes which takes way more time instead of waving your wand? "Avada Kedavra" takes two seconds to cast and is as just as effective as a 50 feet tall Water Dragon Rune-conjured Elemental to get rid of Voldemort, no?
- There has to be a balance. You can't make Harry powerful while keeping Death-Eaters as they are.

And it's way more than that. You have to analyse everything, find the pro and cons, carefully wheigh everything and find the consequences (Ex: Harry learns powerful runes. Other people will realize what he has done thus discover themselves these runes. And when everybody will be able to use the same runes as Harry, what then? Make him learn some other powerful unkown skills?)

I am probably not the best person to advise you how to write or make a good plot. Writing a story isn't something you can learn from a book, it's something you have to practice.

 

Yes i understand, you are right learning runes from a book is a pretty dumb idea. But as ive said ive changed it around. After Harry beat voldermort once he went on to study, all different sorts of things, mainly runes (aka get a runes mastery). Even though he was trying to change the wizarding world while alive he couldnt, thus he went onto the "next great adventure" which i beleive is ascension. 200-300 years later The wizarding world collapses from its own curruption, the dark lords spinging up every couple years and finally the muggles getting tired of the wizarding worlds civil wars spilling out onto their turf and drop a neutrino bomb or something equally powerful on every major magical establishment they can find. basically end the wizarding world. Harry not liking what happens goes back to change it but instead of changing the wizarding world as it is. He says keep your pure blood prejudices i just wont have anything to do with it, takes all the muggleborns and halfbloods away. He is essecntially destroying the wizarding world but he has seen what will happen anyway so he doesnt care much.
Now taking all those muggleborns and halfbloods he starts a new magical civilization on a new planet. The exact details still have to be hammered out this is just an outline. Also major stuggles are planned just not sure which ones.

 

In nearly every story, every pureblood is 'bad'. Is it not a little like saying every german deserves to die because they dislike jews? Sure of course there is racism, but that does not mean that every one of them deserve death (or being left at their fate).

That being said, it may be an interesting idea to see when the Status of Secrecy is breached and all the consequences. Not many authors have tried a realist story where Muggles learn of the Wizardom and try to exterminate it.

Don't make Harry do this alone. He is just an (slightly above) average powerful Wizard. He may discover the Stargate (the most realistic option would be Harry stealing the Earth's Stargate in order to 'evacuate' the Wizarding population).

Just remember Harry's not a genius: he cannot create alone a Stargate or a spaceship. He's not a politician. He cannot create a whole society alone. But he's famous. Let him tell people what they need to do.

Of course, if you stick to the Stargate universe, you'll have to make add ennemies (let's say the Goa'uld were defeated by the Ori who now are taking the galaxy. Hopefully Earth wasn't yet attacked.)