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Vanishing Illusions by Trelawney's love toy - T

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Raggerd, Jun 11, 2007.

  1. nonjon

    nonjon Alumni Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2005
    Messages:
    2,129
    Ouch. Come on. Do us all a favor and put in at least some effort to format your response. It looks like you typed it on your cell phone. Capital letters, complete sentences, maybe break up your thoughts into paragraphs.

    As for the fic, I'm not surprised to see so many complaints and 2/5 ratings as I was hoping this fic would teeter on the edge of the trash bin. For me, it's still a fun read and way to pass the time, but it could use improvement and I think the future chapters should push it either all the way to the trash bin, or over the hump and into the library.
     
  2. Gogolu

    Gogolu Third Year

    Joined:
    May 10, 2007
    Messages:
    94
    I like it.

    Adventurer Harry with Dark background.

    Potter brother, a spoiled brat and stuck up parents motif is a bit overused.

    I will give 4/5.
     
  3. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    13,152
    On the whole it's OK, but I have two objections:

    1. Harry and Viktor are too perfect. Gary Stews pretty much.

    2. The action scenes are lame and uncraetive. Basically two people standing opposite eachother shooting curses and swinging swords.

    What happened to creative use of the environment? The use of transfiguration and charms to create physical and magical defences and offenses? The use of apparition to manouver yourself into a good position, so that your enemy is both surprised and can't get you with, say, a sword?

    The story lacks any of these, and "Fedor" the supposed best dueller in Europe feels like a schoolboy chucking curses in the halway. The author needs to re-read the Dumbledore vs. voldemort scene in OotP methinks.

    3/5
     
  4. Marie M

    Marie M Raptured to Hell

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2007
    Messages:
    349
    The story was ok, but there was nothing unique about it.

    There are many stories like this one and I don't think it deserves to be put in library just because Harry is from Durmstrang.

    3/5
     
  5. eXcalite

    eXcalite Seventh Year

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2007
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    272
    Location:
    Germany, Hamburg
    If anyone still reads it. Theres an updae on ffdotnet
     
  6. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2007
    Messages:
    3,947
    It's because I know, instinctively, that the Potters' attempt to smear the Krums will backfire spectacularly, that I give this fic a 2/5 at most.
     
  7. Drake

    Drake Seventh Year

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    Oct 16, 2007
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    Maryland
    This chapter was exactly as the author said, a filler. There wasn't anything interesting that happened in the whole thing, and it didn't really establish any new plots. All we got out of it was that there was gonna be a Yule Ball (who'da thunk it), and more Dumbledore and Allen bashing.
     
  8. Niffler Lord

    Niffler Lord Headmaster

    Joined:
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    Its was very good at the start but it seems to have degraded to a Allen and Dumbledore bashfest. Kindda tedious now.
     
  9. Saint Alia

    Saint Alia First Year

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2007
    Messages:
    27
    Location:
    Wisconsin
    Meh, pretty good story. I haven't seen many Harry goes to Drumstrang fics, and actually using Viktor Krum as a main character made me pretty happy.

    The grammar was off though, something with being in the present while it should have been past tense irked me off to no end. This made it difficult to read at some spots and I had to push myself to ignore it and keep going.

    I found it annoying that Harry or 'Fedor' doesn't seem to make any mistakes, it'd be a much more belivable story if something went wrong for him every once in a while.

    Dumbledore is rather pathetic, for being a master manipulator he comes off as an ignorant fool who couldn't find his ass with both of his hands and a flash light.

    Never the less I'll keep reading when the next chapter somes out despite it's faults.

    3/5 for me.
     
  10. fash

    fash Seventh Year DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2007
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    Australia
    Read this last night, I didn't mind it actually. Going into it I was ready to read another Evil!twin is the BWL'd story.

    I have seen very little stories where harry attends Durmstrang and have never read a story where hes Krum's little brother so they are both plus points in my book.

    The problems I have with the story... I personally think Fedor is a good example of a 'mary-sue' character. Way to powerful and seems to never be wrong.

    But unlike alot of people I have read ALOT of the crap thats out there so I can look past alot of it.

    4/5 ill give it.


    *Oh and for anyone who's interested it looks like its going to be a Harry/Fleur pairing another plus for me!
     
  11. ip82

    ip82 Prisoner

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2005
    Messages:
    2,921
    This would be much better story if the author would just ease up on the bashing. I mean, it's like everything James, Dumbledore or Harry's brother do is screwed up in some way, their every plan doomed to failure, their every thought selfish or laughably stupid. I sincerely doubt that James and Dumbledore would have gotten where they are by being thickheaded morons who can't read political climate or follow some basic rules of diplomacy.

    OK, bashing is a big aspect of this fic, I get it, that was the author's intention from the start. But by doing it at EVERY chance he gets, writing a huge ranting paragraph EACH time... it just becomes tiring and stupid, even more so than bashing in general usually is.
     
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2007
  12. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    You still haven't really read any. Notice how the time Harry spent in Durmstrang was conveniently skipped.
     
  13. fash

    fash Seventh Year DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2007
    Messages:
    239
    Location:
    Australia
    Totally agree with you on that one, the fact that Dumbledore is actually in the postition in the first place would tell you that he isnt an idiot when it comes to political dealings like he and James a portrayed in this story.

    Ah to true, guess I overlooked that little bit :)

    Fash
     
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