One of the things which has become a pet peeve (as opposed to being unendurably irritating right off) is when the author's note reads something like: "I don't speak Latin, but I looked up an online English-to-Latin translator, and this is what came out." Even *I* know about Latin's flexible word order, so why to Latin incantations always follow English rules?

The worst one I've ever found is:
‘Shieldus Magikus Detection’
Harry wanted to know if his wandless magic was working...

 

I think Conjurus Shieldus was the worst I've have ever seen.

Well that and the now cliche and ever present uber golden patroni.

 

I think I remember that golden patronus - didn't Harry get a tattoo, or something, that supercharged his patronus spell? (I read so many stories, they tend to blur...)

 

Golden Patroni are common phenomena, but indeed there is one recorded instance of the source of the Golden Patronus' power being a tattoo. I believe Harry had a tattoo for each one of the Marauders, and the Stag one super-powered his Patronus. I can't remember what the other two did.

 

Once again the maximus spells, already being stated as probably the most hated spell add-on to super charge a spell. I remember a creative use of spell play in a story I'd read (the title long since forgotten) where spellcrafter!Harry made a stunning spell that only he could remove. The incantation Stubify, was actually a canon based (In the Ministry of Magic, he'd injured his lips or cheeks) attempt at the stunning spell.

I thought maybe a touch of creativity might add a little to the thread.

@Taure-I believe i've read that fic, he got them in a magical tatoo parlor right? The magic they used was from the Native American and (in powerful wizards, I assumed considering the gifts they gave) was supposed to tap into his magic, soul, and body in a cliche but very descriptive scene. I'm not sure if the magical powers manifested then, or at different times but i do have a vague recollection of what you are talking about.

Does anyone know the user name that has a banner of a snake on it with something along the lines of "Known to be true neutral (the word is a link to neutral) and neutral regular ______ "(I forget the actual word, but it is supposed to mean something like arguing just for the sake of arguing even if the person doesn't have any real reason to argue. It seems some find it fun...and I bet they're almost all here in DLP)

 

The name is lame, but the idea makes sense. The author might have borrowed it from Neverwinter Nights, where spells that affect a single target usually have a more powerful version that affects a large area.

 

The golden patroni magical tattoo is from Power of Time by Rosswrock, if I'm thinking about the right one.

 

Im pretty sure that "stubify" was in that fic too..................and it was Harry/Ginny, wow that fic sucked.

 

You are. That was my first encounter with the 'Golden Patroni', and at the time that fic Kicked ass ^.^

Granted, it's now over the Uber!cliche' line, but for the times it was a good story.

 

Yeah, golden patroni were awesome the first few times I read it. And reasonably entertaining in the couple after that.

But how many authors have used that now?

I couldnt even begin to guess...

 

Pig latin incantations suck. Whether they suck more, less or just as much as backwards incantations (llaberif!), I'm not sure. Both make the hate rise up within me, so for now I'll say they're equally bad.

I'd just be happy if they'd spell the names of canon spells properly.

An excerpt from my list of rules for writing HP fanfic:

It's funny, I always seem to be in a sore mood when I add to that rules list...

Probably because when a fic has one of these problems, they also have a large selection of the others as well. After the hundredth retarded error, I go a little bonkers.

 

One of the things that *really* irritates me is Harry having multiple magical animagus forms. To the best of my knowledge, there are FIVE animagi in the Entire Series:

McGonnagall is an ordinary tabby cat
Skeeter is an ordinary beetle
Black is an ordinary (if large) dog
Pettigrew is an ordinary rat
Potter was an ordinary stag

Voldemort, Dumbledore, Snape, Flitwick (all of whom are kickass wizards) Are Not animagi. Becoming an animagus requires a long-term commitment that few magic users make. Harry Can Not pick it up over one summer at the Dursley's and then come back to teach it to the entire DA. And unless JKR says it herself, an animagus form is a non-magical animal! If it weren't for Skeeter, I'd have insisted that one has to be a mammal. But if someone can be a bug, then I'm not going to cavil at bird or fish.

NOT phoenix or dragon!

 

Perspicacity rule #1:

Phoenix animagi shall be put down. Brutally. With a runcible spoon, if possible.

Thank you.

 

Somewhere Rowling says your animagus form is based on your personality - Sirius was very loyal, Pettrigrew was a rat, both literally and figuratively.

Then again, Skeeter's a beetle. Pretty convenient, eh?

Fortunately I haven't had much experience in the "Harry becomes animagus" fics. Panthers, oddly, and more predictably, various types of birds appear.

I've got to agree with you though; magical animagus forms (phoenixes, etc) are just too overpowered. I'd keep it to the muggle animals.

We have very few examples of animagi, but I would assume you couldn't become a fish or something. Birds, mammals, even bugs, but fish - no. The whole "breathing oxygen" thing, I think, limits your choice.

Off-topic, is there a "fanfiction's most horrible cliches" thread at DLP somewhere?

 

Yes. It hasn't been posted on in a while though, and most of them get converted into Potter Laws, so you can check that if you like.

 

Hate to sound like a colossal noob, but do you have the links?

 

Google on: Potter Law site:darklordpotter.net leads to the following:

http://forums.darklordpotter.net/showthread.php?t=2321

 

Alright. It's post-OoTp. Harry casts a Golden Patronus. He slaughters it, and then sells it to the highest bidder, funding his independent lifestyle.

Only, Dumbledore is one of the bidders.

 

I'm rather partial to nonjon's fic, where the dementor, Bob, bites the head off Dumbledore's phoenix patronus.

Crunch, crunch. "Tastes like chicken." Crunch, crunch.