It's pretty interesting so far but I too am concerned about the stated pairing. Dumbledore's manipulations are a little too over the top but I can, at least for now, overlook that. I love that Harry talks the sorting hat into putting him in Hufflepuff. I like stories where Harry gets put in with either the puffs or ravens as it happens so rarely.

4/5 for now but it could go down considering the stated pairing.

 

Chapter 9 has been posted.

Edit (after reading ch9): I don't know what it is, well actually I do. The Harry/Millicent paring just puts me off the whole story, weather it be romantic or platonic (now or in the future) it just puts me off reading it. Also I don't like the sound of his little homework club with all his lil buddies picked from each house.

It's really hard to get my thoughts down for this, but lets just say; as of right now, I don't like it.

 

I like it, chapter 9 was good, especially the interaction with Minerva. Harry/Millicent...well, every other pairing has been pioneered...has this one?

 

This is my first post here in some time... but this story is worth it. Especially the last chapter, this part in particular.

I always thought she was a little butch.

 

Not a bad chapter. I admit the pairing is.... awkward. But then again as like as it doesn't get sappy or anything I can tolarate it.

 

I like the story. Its a little slow so far with updates. But the updates are easily looked forward to. I think Millicent is a nice choice for pairing. The only description of her I can recall is pug-faced and depending on how she grows that is not all that bad a thing. Could be cute.

3/5 for what is written so far. 4/5 for a somewhat original pairing.

 

You are thinking of Pansy, I am afraid. Millicent's description from CoS reads as `a Slytherin girl who reminded Harry of a picture he had seen in Holidays with Hags' and `a large and square girl with a heavy jaw.'

With regards,
Maidros

 

Okay, folks, thanks for the attention to my story. Sorry for the delayed response - RL has kept me busy lately. I will clarify a few things.

Millicent - the main reason I picked Millie is that she is one girl from Slytherin, apart from Pansy, whom we do something about. Writing a Harry/Tracy or a Harry/Daphne is essentially writing a Harry/OC with a canon name. Harry/Pansy has been done quite a bit before. I wanted to try my hand at Harry/Millicent. However, there will be no romance before the GoF year. I am not minded write a romance for a pair of eleven year old kids.

Dumbledore - The man will be manipulative and unpleasant, but what I can promise you is that he will not descend to crudities. That means no blocks on Harry's magic, no mind affecting spells or potions, no getting Harry's friends to spy, no stealing Harry's money, no violating the will, no interviews about Harry going dark, etc. Such crass methods are beneath the masterly manipulator and superb adaptor that the wily headmaster is. He can achieve far more using a combination of half-truths, rumours, peer pressure, and feeding selective information,

Harry - he will be smart, observant, and pro-active, with plenty of initiative. He will try to solve his problems with resources at his disposal. He will be friendly, social and diplomatic with all other students (being nice to people in no way equates with being naive). He is definitely no super character, and will never be one. If there is one genre I hate, it is a super!<any character>.

Thanks for the reviews and votes.
With regards,
Maidros

 

Tell us everything you know about Millicent that is canon, that would not make her an OC.

Apart from the fact that she is fat and ugly.
</any>

 

Considering that every single Slytherin in the HP series, apart from Malfoy, is a caricature, you really cannot expect a lot. However, we do know (or can infer reasonably from the canon) a few things about Millicent.

She is bigger than Harry, and very likely, strong physically (at least, stronger than Harry, and being a girl, it does say something) - Duelling Club, CoS.

She has an aggressive attitude - Duelling Club, CoS.

Her magical prowess is not something she has a great amount of confidence in - told to duel Hermione magically, she instead chose to physically assault her opponent (she had Hermione in a headlock and had thrown away her wand) - Duelling Club, CoS. Combined with her size, it is more likely that she prefers to physically settle her problems, rather than use her magic or brains.

Millicent is a Germanic name that stands for `labour' or `strength'. Considering the amount of importance JKR has invested in names, I would consider this significant. Combined with her none-too-attractive appearance, it is likely that JKR wanted her as the archetype of the forceful, and functional, but unlovable woman.

She is a half-blood (JKR's notes in `Harry Potter and Me') - consequently, someone low in the Slytherin peck order, given the preoccupation of some of them with the purity of blood.

She owns a cat (Polyjuice Potion, CoS).

She was part of Umbridge's goon squad, and took part in the raids on DA club and the capture of Harry when he was invading Umbridge's office. Again she employs brute force, not magic, to keep Hermione under control (Out of the Fire, OotP).

There is one omission that I find significant. Most Slytherins, even Crabbe and Goyle, are mentioned in the Yule Ball, but Millicent's name is conspicuously absent. You can make some inferences from that, from what you already know.

It is not a lot, I admit, but you do have a rough sketch of the person you are trying to portray. But then again, we do not have a great deal of Pansy's personality either - she is merely Draco's girlfriend. Heck, we don't even have her appearance down.

Criticism is always welcome.
With regards,
Maidros

 

You did do the homework needed to put Millicent as an important character...

As for the story, I like it. One of the better stories around.

4/5 from me..

 

No, he went over to the lexicon and copy-paste-edited what they have put, and even they admit that Bulstrode cannot be considered a Half-Blood in canon because 1. It was never mentioned in the books and 2. it conflicts with the parts of the story she is 'mentioned'.

And apart from the half-blood thing, all you've done is say she is 'fat and ugly' just not in the three words that are needed.

Bulstrode wasn't mentioned at the ball because she isn't important enough in any of the books to be mentioned.

And no we don't actually know that Pansy is Draco's girlfriend.

A lot of what you have done is speculate, which makes Her(Bulstrode and Pansy if you like) an OC, like the rest of the Slytherins minus Draco and possibly Crabbe and Goyle.

 

Lincos, shut the fuck up. If you don't like the fic don't read it. If the pairing makes you not like the fic too bad. The author chooses the pairing, not the reader.

Harry/Millicent isn't a particularly common pairing, in fact I can't think of any fic I've read with it. They are probably out there but they aren't majorly popular. What wrong with doing an uncommon pairing?

And Niffler, how is Harry dating someone his own age more awkward than him fucking his mother?

 

No, I did not. In fact, if you observed properly, you would see that nothing except the Germanic origins of the name is from HP-Lexicon. Can you point out what part of canon conflicts with her half blood status? Secondly, if you can accept Tracy as `canon' - she does not make an appearance either in any of the books - why do you have problems with accepting Millicent's background?

I mentioned her propensity for not using magic, and her penchant for being physically aggressive. It escapes me what part of being fat and ugly prevents you from using magic effectively, or makes you aggressive physically. Is her ownership of a cat also covered by her fatness or ugliness?

How do you explain her participation in the Inquisitorial Squad as a function of her physique? It indicates a possible Fudge/Umbridge minion, one who had a vested interest in the Dark Lord's rise, or possibly one who simply chose to believe that Dumbledore and Potter were lying. How do you explain all these elements as derivatives of her build?

Yet, never again named Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs were mentioned.

She went to the Yule Ball with him in GoF, and she was stroking Draco's hair in HBP when he was lying with his head in her lap in the school train. This strongly suggests that she was his girlfriend, although it is never directly mentioned.

I have drawn inferences based on canon, along with the source from where I drew the inferences. As for Crabbe and Goyle, they are just as much caricatures. Even their names are a spoonerism for `grab and coil', they seem to have no separate existences apart from Draco minions. What do we actually know of Crabbe? Or Goyle?

 

good story

it a nice story so far

 

Mordecai, fuck off no one was talking to you. I want to give the story a chance, that's why I said 'as of right now I don't like it' I am going on because of the reason he gave for choosing Bulstode over and other Slythrin, her being the only non-OC apart from Pansy.

1. Wow you told us the meaning of a name.

2.No I can't unless I go read through the 7 books again but really your not important enough to do that. Though that fact she was in the inquisitorial squad suggests that she isn't half-blood because Umbridge is a blood purist.

3. No I wouldn't consider Davis Canon,she was never in the books.

4. Because she hasn't got a background unless you make one for here, making her an OC.

Copy-Past-Edit

Ugh, what?

Like I said speculation, Harry went with Parvati, Longbottom with Gin-Slut, Ron with Padama are they all boyfriend and girlfriend? Wow she stroked his hair, female friends of mine have stroked my hair, it does not mean I'm going out with them.

And as for Crabbe and Goyle, not much really just that they are mentioned and described more times than Ginny before book 6. (just incase you didn't catch that) /sarcasm.

 

You have a point....

Lincos, how is this any different from choosing another Slythrine Girl? Or a Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw? We have very little info on anyone not in Harry's year in Gryffindor. There are fics out there with everyone other minor character so why not Millicent? It would be a good diviation.

Even if he did only look up the details in HP-Lexicon, it still a lot more than most people do before they write a story.This is his story, let him write it.

 

Niffler, you do know that is the point I am trying to make?

He said he chose Bulstrode because anyone else would be OC. I'm saying choosing Bulstrode is also choosing an OC anyway, so why chose her?

 

Why not her? I mean there are fics out for everyone else so why not her? If she isn't pretty, big woop. Most fanfic authors make the love interest pretty, smart and almost Mary-Sue. I would like to read one where she isn't, which is where this is heading...

Well as long as you don't write smut with MB then it's ok.