This is brilliant.

That said, I think there should be a law about the number of times an author can use Bloody, Brilliant, Hell, Wotcher, or any of the like, in their story. The less the better. Zero is best.

Also, there is more to Wizarding food than Treacle Tart and Pumpkin Juice.

 

Hermione Granger shall in no way or form time-travel to hook up with any character in said time, especially if said character Hermione will be hooking up with is the 'younger and hawter' version of an older character in Hermione's original timeline. Nor will she bring along anyone from her timeline to hook up with such in said time. Hermione Granger will not be able to find a magical device, advanced technology, or any such means of defeating the Dark Lord in the timeline she crossed over to. If Hermione Granger finds herself in such cliched circumstances she will not be able to return to her own timeline and change it, resulting in breaking the laws of Quantum Theory.

Clarification: Hermione Granger is not a miracle-working, world-renown astrophysicist; Albert Einstein was not able to create a device, despite his theories, that would be able to create two parallel universes colliding into one because of breaking the laws of Quantum Theory. So why the fuck would Granger be able to?

 

If we still had rep, I would spend xmas eve and day abusing it, neglecting famlily and booze, giving you as much as possible bio. Awesome...

 

Covered in the very first law.

Keep it Harry Potter.

Which I feel should be expanded.

STOP ADDING HORRID FANDOMS FOR STUPID CROSSOVERS >_<

Addendum: Now!

 

Besides Charlie and the Twins, none of the other Weasly's are able to play Quidditch like a professional, because it is in fact a hard game to play. (Canon Reversal): Ronald Weasley will never be "our king", fuck what the books say.

 

This begs the question: who among us is crazy enough to attempt to write a story which breaks each and every one of the Potter-Laws.

It would be kinda funny.

 

I actually thought someone was working on that one at one point. It was a while ago though, so who knows?

 

The torch extinguished inexplicably, leaving Harry and Snape alone in the dark.

Harry began to speak in a deep, purring voice.

"The first thing I thought when the lights went out was 'I will not sodomize this lovely, greasy young man', and yet, here we are..."

 

Luna's hotness aside, the DoM should not be used as a measuring stick for how well six students performed. Let's remember that the Death Eaters were not going for the kill- they had to get the prophecy intact and so were handicapped as far as what spells they could use. Only Voldemort is allowed to kill Harry, and the other students could be used as bartering chips to force Harry to give up the prophecy. So they couldn't risk using more damaging spells. That should be an addendum. I am so tired of fanfics where the "Ministry Six" brags about how they "held their own" against the best of the Death Eaters. PLEASE! Malfoy let his smug superiority and overconfidence get the better of him and Bella's insanity helped ruin the plan. Their arguing gave Harry enough time to some up with a distraction.

 

Amendment: You are allowed to let Ronald Weasley play for the Chudley Cannons. However, they are still to remain the most awful team in the league.

 

Amendment: Harry Potter will be able to realize that pumpkin juice, firewhiskey, and butterbeer sucks after getting his first taste of Coca-Cola.

 

No. Just no. Not only is this kind of useless and probably wrong, that's a pretty big assumption to make, assuming that Harry's never drank Coca-Cola before going to Hogwarts...

 

I have to agree on this; it always made my eyes twitch when I read how Harry thinks someone's good just because he's held his own at the Department of Mysteries.

Plus, remember the fact that in canon, Voldemort and his Death-Eaters are most of the time unskilled, pathetic excuses for Wizards. Common, Bellatrix killed by Molly Weasley?

 

It has been established that Harry Potter is not a homosexual;
Therefore, no author will spend any long than two sentences acquiring clothing for him and describing the way he looks in them.

"He was wearing a grey robe," is quite enough in most situations.

 

Most of the characters in Dostoevsky aren't gay either -- but he still spends pages upon pages describing what they're wearing and what they look like.

 

Dostoevsky doesn't follow Potter law, now does he?

But I somewhat agree that Logrusmage's law should be amended to something like:

Harry Potter is not a homosexual, a trendy fashion setter, or an indy rock star;
Therefore, depictions of his choice of apparel, whether on his person or soon to be purchased, should be limited to what is appropriate for enhancing imagery and not a long list of exactly what Harry just has to have.

 

Your memory doesn't have to be "über" for an insignificant detail to cling to it for many years; besides, the day Harry met Griphook was the day of his introduction to the wizarding world, and he's bound to remember such an event in great detail.

 

That doesn't mean Griphook is the only Goblin available to bring Harry or anyone else to his vault. He also isn't the one assigned to Harry, nor is he any different from other, low-level goblins in Gringotts.

He's probably dead by fifth year anyway.

 

Recognizing the name Griphook is one thing - and frankly, I have no problem with it.

What is stupid, and totally cliche, is that saying "Hello!" to Griphook results in Harry being crowned Emperor of the Goblins, inheriting the leadership of dozens of houses, being taught Goblin magic, and learning he owns 1x10^26 Galleons.

In this case, Rule XX needs to be changed:

​

 

Damn Straight.

On another subject.
Narcissa Malfoy will not suddenly become a servile bitch. Although it is satisfying to read about how much she loves Harry's dick, it does not change the fact that she still looks as if there is shit under her nose. This does not mean however, that she cannot be some one Harry fucks, she just should not be reduced to a snivelling pathetic whore. She is smart....well at least she is devious enough to marry into money.

Draco Clarification: This does not make Draco Malfoy a better person in any way. He is still a twat and will always be a twat.

Lucius Clarification: So is Lucius.