Title: Till The Very Last Breath
Author: The-Xenocide
Rating: T
Genre: General/Angst
DLP Category: General
Pairing: n/a
Status: Complete
Summary: Only one thing had managed to stay true to form, and that had been the presence of the executioner. Though one person can manage, two is usually the norm for such things.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3492288/1/Till_The_Very_Last_Breath

As a newcomer here, I'm not sure if it's frowned upon for authors to call attention to their own work. I didn't see anything in the rules that stated otherwise. Frankly, this is only one of two HP oneshots that I am remotely fond of and since I was always never quite proficient in the HP fandom, I thought that it wouldn't hurt to perhaps get some constructive criticism. If I'm not run off with torches and pitchforks, I might link my other one here, just to see what reviews it garners.

 

Absolutely not. It is, however, when the person self promotes within a few hours of posting their introduction.

But, considering how many others do it, it doesn't really matter.

 

One of those unspoken etiquette things? I apologize for breaking it then.

 

'Harry P. and Draco M.'

...I think you should update your Naruto fics instead...>_>

 

...........Dammit. Now that you've insinuated that I advocate slash, I'm going to be drawn and quartered.

Seriously, is DM hated so vehemently here that the very mention of his name dissuades someone from reading a fic? I was going for meaningful character interaction, but if this is the case....

 

Well, this is actually a pretty good one-shot. I enjoyed it anyways. Good job

Edit: Aha, just recognized your name. I already linked your "Aircraft" fic on the Naruto thread.

Nah, it's just when you see "Harry P. and Draco M" the first thing that comes to mind is "slash"
Which of course it isn't.

 

Yeah, pretty much. Draco is made of fail...and faggotry.

 

Duly Noted. Since this fic, guilty by association, is autofail, feel free to immediately trash bin it.

 

I could, but I shall not. In the meantime, you may instead feel free to appease me with more Naruto/Ino updates.

 

Kinda bored me for some reason. I mostly skimmed it. 3/5 for being "average". It needs something, but I'm not able to put my finger on it.

 

-wince-

Well, at least you didn't toss it out of the window the second you saw the name Draco Malfoy.

I'm not the best writer in the world and I'm sure my sporadic updates reflect it. In my defense, HP fics have never been my forte, though I hope my time here will change that.

Yes well in hindsight, I should have known better than to post a DM fic in a forum that detests slash fics, the majority of which feature said character.

I assume you're referring to Initial Offensive? I expect that the Christmas update should keep the sparse amount of my readers happy. I try, but I'm not a dedicated updater.

 

Good mechanics (Grammar, spelling etc.), good characterization. Far better than most else on FF.net, but it didn't enter that elusive 5/5 entertainment realm for me. Don't know why.

4.5/5 overall. Excuse me while I go read your other fics.


EDIT: Bad phrasing. Note to self: Stop posting at midnight, fucktard.

 

Not one of my favorites, but the writing and characterisation were superb. I've never been a fan of Draco Malfoy, but this take on him was rather good.

4/5

 

It's really a shame that you choose an Harry/Draco interaction fic to post. Because even if your quality as an author cannot be discussed , since you are way above the majority of FFnet, the content of the story are discutable. The story is profound and original but frankly I can't bring myself to care since it's about Draco. It's stupid but I found this character too much despicable too really appreciated reading something about him.

 

It was engaging, but like others have said it kind of lacked something. Reading it felt like it was a fragment of a larger story rather than a stand-alone piece. Lots of the language in the first few paragraphs was noticeably elaborate too; seemed like you had too much good imagery to really slow down and focus on just a few of them.

For example:

This is purely based on personal preference, but there's a hellava lot of adjectives in just the one sentence. Some of them could be cut out completely and still achieve the same thing - 'remnants' implies his robe is going to be in tatters without actually having to say it.

The only other thing I noticed was with the speechmarks:

Instead of:

Other than that, nice work. I'm off to check out your other fics now.

 

Ah yes. Honestly, although I'm fond of it, it's not one of my better works. I was still in the early experimenting stage and thought that more was better. A left-over from the "Describe the hell out it" sessions we had in English in high school. I like to think I've gotten better, but an author never really sees his or her own faults until they're pointed out.

Also, I've always winged it when it comes to speechmarks. I've seen several authors with different styles and I've not tried to hard to see if what I use is accurate. Is there a set of rules to follow when using speechmarks? I don't really know all that much beyond the proper usage of quotation marks and speechbreaks.

 

Your characterization was indeed, as others have noted, very good. I enjoyed it, though it does feel like it could become something larger. 4/5

 

I really liked the characterization in this one. And, unlike many of the others, I actually enjoyed the way the author "described the hell out of it". It was entertaining and carried the story slowly enough to really savour the scene, without moving too slow and boring the reader.

Plus it's always nice to see someone develope Draco's character, as I've always been unhappy with the way J.K. failed to do so, even when she opened up so many opportunities for herself. Overall, an excellent read. I'm adding it to my favorites right now. 5/5

 

Everyone says that it's missing something, I think the answer is;

We just don't care about Draco Malfoy. Maybe if it was someone else that was 'liked' with as good as characterization that you have given Malfoy then it might be hitting the 5's.

Think your average is gona be around 3's with some 4's thrown in.

I ain't going to rate it though to be honest because I don't like One-shots and Humor fics.... and this ticks one of those boxes so I'll let the others decide.