No real critique or special insight to this post, but I enjoyed reading this fic. It's nice to see a new twist on Harry. And a look into a "not so perfect" marriage that James and Lily may have had. Can't wait to ready more.

 

Don't know why but while reading this I had a funny idea for a humor one shot spin off. One where it is Lily instead of James that Harry experiences. The humor would mostly be from Harry gaining female tendencies, thoughts, etc. Imagine Harry worrying over not having his period and thinking he is pregnant

 

*Cracks up*

Oh hell that'd be priceless!

Remembering Pregnancy and all the strange food loves...

Everyone watching harry eat peanut-butter on cucumber. *Laughs*

That would raise a few eyebrows.

 

Oneshot for some slapstick humour perhaps, full fic no. I don't instinctually think fretting over random pregnancies (wtf?) nor post menstrual syndromes is fun.

 

In this chapter that I'm writing now, Sirius finally shows up. If HJ gets a chance to confess to him what is going on inside his head Sirius will probably say something along the lines of "Harry, you're fucking with me right?"

His response, "No, if I was fucking with you, I'd say Lily's memories are up here and now I have gender confusion."

Kokopelli has a story on fanficauthors that uses part of Lily inside of Harry. Problem is that she can only come out when Harry's asleep or stunned I think. Not really a humor fic, but more of a real story post HBP I think and with it being a H/Ginny pairing it might not be up your alley.

Currently, I'm just about 5000 words into the chapter. Hope to have it done over the weekend.

Jim

 

This is a great story. Very unique, the whole merged-Harry/James thing. And its refreshing seeing a Harry who does miraculous stunts as a chaser instead of seeker.
And also, you promised more before Christmas! Dont mind either way, so update anytime, especially after you finish writing it.

5/5

 

This will be most amusing.

Shame Harry can't manage to "borrow" one of the Peregrine Racing Broom's to test it out.

Same thing as Harry finding out about the Dragons.

*Innocent*

Hopefully we see more Snape Heckling!

 

Update ahoy!

 

I would say that this is the best chapter so far. Good flow to the conversations and a well written fight scene. I was hoping for some more interaction between Harry and the other contestants but I am sure that will be in the next chapter.

 

It deviated from canon! Ha!

 

God damn, Jim... fan-fucking-tastic chapter.

I love the say he talked to Black at the end of the chapter.

What a line of dialog. Pure win.

I also loved the clean utilitarianism of how he dealt with Barty Crouch Jr. The fight felt both solid and real and carried the flow of the story believably.

Case in point, the wayHJ was dominating the fight was excelent, but when you threw in Winky you tilted the odds such that he ended up getting nailed and was put on the defensive... but what really sold the fight for me was how you had him STILL recover in a believable manner and had him fight SMART for a win.

Then, using the hat to mind rape crouch... now that's what I call letting the character fight smart. Too many authors would have let the opportunity slip by their "heros" so that they wouldn't have the tools to fight the badguys except in the most desperate of manners. Instead you've just given HJ a nice little cache of hidden knowledge (no telling how much the hat really did get... but we know he got something) and can use it to justify some future actions that put HJ in a better position to fight the DEs and Voldemort so that everything isn't just some desperate melee. Now HJ can set up counter attacks to foil the villians of the piece. Which will force the bad guys to take their fighting and tactics up a notch.

Furthermore, having Harry capitalize on the political situation that developed was outstanding. It sets up for the Return of Black... only now he's going to be working hard on getting himself back in fighting form rather than rotting in the black family mansion. Somehow I think Bella is going to get a spanking from her brother... rather than him ending up going through some veil.

Jim... this story just keeps getting better... and I can hardly wait to see what you have for us next.

 

I had a feeing this story was going to turn out to be epic, and so far it has been delivering. This chapter is probably the best one yet.

The Hat's advice to HJ about how to win the broom race was hilarious,

His master plan of making money was ingenious. Too bad it HJ discovered it. Like I have said earlier I love the Sorting Hat.


The battle with Crouch Jr turned out to be great especially with Winky losing her shit and attacking HJ. The hat mind raping Crouch Jr was a fantastic idea, and shows how much different HJ is from canon pussified Harry.

The whole political situation benefits were executed very well. The way you had Rita caught was one of the more original ones, and I liked it.

Harry's treatment of Angelina was very satisfying. Angelina acts like quite the bitch in assuming Harry would just come back. Unfortunately for the little cunt she is dealing with HJ, who is ruthless. I truly hope HJ destroys any chance the tart has of making it pro.

Last but not least; the HJ/Sirius interaction. In some aspects it was excellent especially the Julius fucking Caesar line. The only complaint I have is the lack of reaction Sirius showed that best friend is pseudo-alive. I didn't want Sirius to break down or anything, I was just expecting something else. Anyway I look forward to the Ascension of The House Of Black, and much more of Sirius.

Eagerly awaiting the next update!
Homer

 

One of the best... no, sratch that, this one is the best chaoter in this story so far.
Good fighting scene - I liked how you added Winky on Barty's side. It's original, if nothing else. Sorting Hat is on top... honesty, you have a knack for Harry's sidekicks in your fics.
I have to agree with Garret P.I.,

goes straight into my quote bank.
Finally, I'll commend you on "dirty politics". It's not every day you see Madam Bones overlooking criminal offences.

 

I contend that Black acted exactly like he should have. Real men aren't terribly centered on showing emotion... and Sirius is a man who has had to keep his emotions under lock and key for years in Azkaban.

Further he did actually show a proper bit of response.

See... the meat here is in what he's not doing and what is left unsaid or not spelled out.
The Gleam... the sudden declaration of total support...
When he finally figured out that HJ was serious (no comments on the pun) instead of getting all weepy... he got a bit of the old marauder gleam back in his eye and showed that he wanted to back his play.

Black is seeing that maybe he's not really lost James at all... and that in fact now they'll be able to get back into the business of "proper mischief".

Gotta remember, James got married... and that changes things between blokes. Suddenly the married one has less time to spend with his closest chums... and can't get into the sorts of mischief that they used to. But now, even though Harry is much his junior... Sirius once more has an unattached friend there for him... and one that is willing to act irresponsibly if needsbe.

So Padfoot is likely being over-freaking-whelmed by the posibilities that have reopened themselves to him and HJ.

If anything I'm expecting that the next few letter from Sirius to HJ will be Sirius babbling on about the how this changes everything and that this situation is like a gift from the gods... mostly for how they can prank the living hell out of people that James and Sirius know.

 

This was definitely an excellent chapter, Jim. I really liked the interaction of HJ and Hermione in the broom closet scene, not to mention the subtle little ways in which HJ is playing up to Dumbledore's brilliance by giving him open-ended 'truths' to draw his own conclusions from. Anytime you beat the master manipulator at his own game, it's made of win.

The Julius fucking Caesar line was definitely fun. Can't wait to see what you do with that duo, though I hope minor pranking isn't Sirius' first thought.

Good work.

 

I really want to see Harry call Remus out on the Lily affair.

 

I've tried to read this, I honestly have... but I just can't get past the style the author wrote it in. It's just too distracting.

 

First person is a pretty common style. Perhaps you're confusing it with Bungle?

 

Not much too say except great chapter and keep the sorting hat around has long as you can.

 

About Sirius, his reactions flowed pretty well for me. Disbelief, shock, uncomprehending acceptance. To Sirius this is great. He got James back. And Harry is standing in front of him. I don't think it's really hit him what this means. HJ said as much to him, Harry with James memories, James in Harry's body. After he thinks about it for a while Sirius will probably want to ask HJ about it and then most likely put it out of his mind.

Remus is the one who is more likely to explore the situation if he and HJ don't have a falling out over what HJ remembers. Or if he doesn't get obliviated to keep him from telling Dumbledore. His having gotten the runes for the map from Dumbles ties him just that much closer to the headmaster and if HJ hasn't gotten to the point where he trusts Dumbles with the information then Remus could serve as a way to let Dumbles know at the expense of any goodwill between them.