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Dancing with Myself by FFML Tim - T/R

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Manatheron, Jan 19, 2008.

  1. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    You mean Lily Potter Jr.? Just want to make sure I'm comprehending your joke correctly.
     
  2. Warlocke

    Warlocke Fourth Champion

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    Call me a stickler for details, but when people are talking about something as vile as pedophilia, they really shouldn't sling the term around carelessly.

    The thing is, I've seen so many people here mutter about pedophilia in any story where an older Harry from the future ends up with a Hogwarts-aged character. Being attracted to someone who is already physically developed, however still an adolescent, is not pedophilia.

    While acting on such attraction would be illegal in many cases (and rightfully so, I don't care how stacked you think that fourteen year old is! Sure, there's grass on the field, but there's no one around yet to manage the team. :p), the attraction itself would not be unnatural. Gee, let me think, you're mentally defective if you're attracted to someone who's already physically mature? How does that one work?

    Let me make it easy for you; it doesn't.

    If you're attracted to someone with a well-developed body who also happens to be legally underage, you do not need to start seeing a therapist and neither does Harry. Psychologists don't define this sort of attraction as abnormal unless it becomes obsessive.

    However, once again, in most situations, acting on such an attraction would likely be highly illegal, probably not the proper course of action, and would be more than a little skeezy.

    [And since Harry often does act on this attraction in most stories like that, I suppose this little informational session is something of a moot point. :eek: But I thought I'd just put it out there.]

    Bottom Line: Looking is fairly normal. Start touching, and there's probably a well-deserved Louisville Slugger with your kneecaps' names on it and you have no one to blame but yourself.

    What does all of that long-winded exposition have to do with this story? Er, probably not much, but let's continue in spite of that.

    Harry being attracted to his scrawny, underfed counterpart, er... That's a Sunday drive into Squick Town, folks. He doesn't initially assume she's older, due to her advanced development, quite the opposite, actually.

    If he were attracted to someone who was twelve but he assumed they were older because of their looks, that wouldn't be nearly as weird as him being attracted to someone older who he assumed was only twelve due to her obvious lack of development, which is what he does here. Even though the actual reality of the first situation would be even worse than the second one, taking his perception of the situation into account, it's not as bad. Kind of like that married couple that didn't know they were actually brother and sister. From their point of view, everything was fine. What Harry does here is more like marrying someone because you think they're your sibling, then finding out they were actually adopted.

    His affection towards her could have been attributed to sympathy and a protective instinct, because of her apparent frailty, sadness, et cetera (and, after all, he knows almost exactly what she's been through) except that he almost immediately blurts out that he's attracted to her. Umm... Yeah... little creepy there, Harry.

    The thing is, most of that moral gray area could have been entirely avoided in this story with a little patience.

    Apparently Harriet has 'filled out' and is quite the looker after her 'rehabilitation', which eliminates any weirdness over him being physically attracted to her.

    Also, she experiences an almost immediate jump in her mental age when she absorbs Voldemort's soul fragment (Voldemort having been approximately 55 when Harriet was turned into a horcrux). Not a day later she already views her peers as annoying little children. This little 'deus ex horcrux' quite handily removes any moral issues with their relationship in regards to her mental age.

    So basically, if the author had just attributed Harry's interest in his female counterpart to sympathy, a protective instinct and feelings of kinship in the beginning and then later have him realize his attraction to her as that of a man towards a woman, after she'd gotten her physical and mental 'boost', then the squickiness could have been removed entirely and you'd have a guilt free post-voldemort!Harry/4th-year-girl!Harry story.

    Instead... well, squick.

    True enough.

    In other news:
    Just a heads up; it's spelled Lily, there is no double L.
     
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2008
  3. Amerision

    Amerision Galactic Sheep Emperor DLP Supporter

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    Ugh.

    Well, I suppose it's half-way decent.

    3/5 with the 1 point boost for being H/F!H.

    The stupid naming of Fem!Harry pisses me off too. Seriously, at least make an effort for an original name. Find something that at least sounds close to Harry.
     
  4. Marie M

    Marie M Raptured to Hell

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    Only two problems I noticed are Fem!Harry being called Harriet and this story being re-write, therefore done million times by now.

    Other then that, it's pretty interesting, usual Independent!Harry (In this case Herriet) story, with good pairing, so 3.5/5.
     
  5. Niffler Lord

    Niffler Lord Headmaster

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    What is with the sudden rise of rewritten Silver Aegis fics... specifically this one? This has to be the 4 or so we've seen in the last month.

    Anyway I like this fic. A little deus ex horcrux as Warlocke said (nice phrase btw), but it was well written and different from the original and the other rewrites.

    Fem!Harry's name was not a big contention point for me. I've known girls (well a girl) named Harriotte. It's just a name. I only get annoyed when they insist on putting the entire bloody name everywhere.

    The thing that got to me was the description of Dragon-speak. I don't mind that she spoke to the dragon. Its that she used a tweaked, powered up version of Parseltongue. IMO dragons are on a different tree from regular reptiles, dragons being magical, bigger and all that. Heck I don't even consider them reptiles!! Therefore Draconic isn't the same as Parseltongue or even close enough to be related. I imagine it to have more grunts and vocal rumbling than hissing. Therefore this part annoyed me greatly.

    On the other hand I liked the part about throwing Draco to the dragon as a meal.

    Look forward to more.

    4/5
     
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2008
  6. TripticWriter

    TripticWriter Groundskeeper

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    I can't believe how nice you are with this story... It's scream of fanboyism...

    Frankly, the first think that Harry tell her is that they are the same person from different reality! How stupid is that? And don't forget how he cast an avada kedavra on her on a hunch. But there is better: The fantastic and very original theatrical entrance with tatoo and everything, so fucking great. Don't forget the unavoidable guilt trip when he told all the school that she was beat for eleven years... So we have manipulative!Dumbledore but nice Minerva who was just blind. Did I tell you that Harriet speak to dragon? Great isn't it? And the "accio deer" was just fantastic.

    This story is trash! There is no other word, stop being fanboy cause if it was an other girl than fem!Harry this story would have been destroy by everyone. Rate the story not the pairing.
     
  7. The Mysterious Nobody

    The Mysterious Nobody Auror

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    Quoted for the truth... well, mostly.

    While I don't consider this story to be the worst fic out there since 'My Immortal' (at least it's better written than 95% of other similar fics in FF.net), I could hardly believe my eyes when I was reading you and I can't help but wonder if we've read the same goddamn thing.

    Goth!Phantomoftheopera!Harry? Seriously people, we've trashed better stories. This isn't even Recycling Bin worthy...
     
  8. Randeemy

    Randeemy Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    Becuase if you say it three times something terrible will happen....

    Oh shit, thats Candyman, sorry...

    The rewrites of The Girl Who Lived are going to be demanding their own subsecton in the library, sorry, recyle bin at this rate... 2.5/5
     
  9. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    It's not a rewrite, according to the author. The first chapter certainly gives that impression, which is unfortunate, because again Harry is given no explanation for being thrown into the past. It's clear with the pace of the romance that the author wants to get things rolling as quickly as possible.

    Don't be so hard on it. It's a light read, and ultimately, shallow.

    I give it a 3/5. The title fits so well.
     
  10. Antivash

    Antivash Until we meet again... DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    D: Whats wrong with wanting to bone your 12 year old female double when your 25? Its a perfectly legal, perfectly understandable form of Advanced Masturbation!

    And Double Quote For Truth. At the very best, this is sub-par and annoyingly bad. I'd delete this before trash binning it, even with my like of such stories. >_>
     
  11. Memory King

    Memory King Order Member DLP Supporter

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    Not bad, not bad at all. 4/5 from me.
     
  12. Vegemeister

    Vegemeister Seventh Year

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    I think you mean Betelgeuse.
     
  13. Warlocke

    Warlocke Fourth Champion

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    Bloody Mary and Beetlejuice/Betelgeuse too.

    (Edit: lol, Vegemeister beat me to Beetlejuice by four minutes)

    Don't tell anyone I said this, :ph34r: but at the end of the day, doppelgangers, soul-doubles, clones and alternate-universe versions of yourself legally (I'm sure it's on the books somewhere) don't count, because they're basically an extension of yourself. In a world where elves, goblins, werewolves and centaurs can't catch any slack, what do you expect? 'Extra' people are classified as a free-roaming collection of body parts that merely resemble an existing being and are thus fair game.

    Also, Harriet is clearly gagging for it.
    ...
    ......
    Well she is... and that's not even taking into account the kinky dress up games and sub/dom shit she seems to be into. That girl was 100% along for the ride the minute he popped into her reality.

    Dammit, Vash, see what your corrupting influence has done! :mad: I don't even remember typing this horseshit! Where am I? Is it still 2008?
     
    Last edited: Jan 20, 2008
  14. slasheh

    slasheh Seventh Year

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    there are some more chapters of this story posted on roscharch's group. It's not as bad as the original, but it still isn't perfect.
    The attraction between Harriet and Harry could have been handled better, the way it is done it is pretty suspect.

    Ps: Abused people do NOT like BDsM as a sensual lifestyle choice, for them it is a cycle of abuse they should be broken out of, if in anyway possible so eeeeek
     
  15. Warlocke

    Warlocke Fourth Champion

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    QFT. Boy, those two are just a bundle of squick-worthy issues, aren't they? Will this story address these issues in a realistic fashion somewhere down the road?

    :eek: Sorry. I laughed so hard just then that I choked on my spit.
     
  16. Drajjen

    Drajjen First Year

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    Normally, I would be quite harsh on fics such as this. But for some reason I find this one as a guilty pleasure. Sure, it could be done better etc.. but well I got all tickled when they talked about Ginny being attracted to the female Harry, had a good laugh at that.

    At any rate for me, it's a 3.5/5
     
  17. Manatheron

    Manatheron Headmaster

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    {Shrugs}

    Link to the RB Version of the story would be appreciated if it's better. For the record he grabbed a 'Mystical gem' and wished to understand himself better at Luna's recommendation Hence the cross dimensional shift. Presumably the gem de-aged his preference in women when it did his body (Odd that the rest of his brain is still there...) and of course Harriet is 'Actually' 15 to his 17...

    Wait for it....

    Wait for it........

    All together now!

    NO WAY!

    ---

    Ya, we all know he's a pedo, but the author at least tried to validate it.

    in other news, does it look to anyone else like this author raided our thread and actually took the majority of the advice we posted in some of the other re-writes? (Even though his supposedly isn't?)
     
  18. Lucullus

    Lucullus High Inquisitor

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    This fic phails so badly it's not even funny. I'm very partial to H/f!H fics, but this is, to quote TripticWriter, simply trash.

    I gagged when Harry revealed his identity and his conclusion of how he was Harriet's male form in another dimension, in just the space of a few short paragraphs. Add in substandard writing, and I simply find myself unable to carry on.

    Those who are being "harsh" on this fic are right. We've trashed much better fics than this.

    1/5, even if it barely deserves the single point.
     
  19. Alexeyy

    Alexeyy Seventh Year DLP Supporter

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    Oh, I see, the covetous "disarm her and then give her her wand back as a show of good will, mister my reflexes got the better of me" story. At least this one was straightforward and quick-paced, did not include bad humour and alcoholics. Maybe after all this new genre has some hope it, eh?

    One thing that stood out the most, is that the author dedicated too much time to the old nutritional potions regime line.

    The second chapter, when Harry-the-male had flung AK at Harry-the-girl, I almost expected she'd wake up and accuse him on the account of how much AK stings. That scene, overall, had brought some vague feeling that I have read something like that much too many times.

    All in all, TripticWriter summarized the fic nicely. It is written for us fanboys. Still, many things like Harry's quick proclamation that he's from parallel reality were, of course jokes, I think: being well-acquainted with other renditions of the Girl-Who-Lived, reading again all the details would have been decidedly painful.

    P.S.

    In humour, I'd like to note that Warlocke's posts, and many others' around here as well, explaining just why it didn't really qualify as pedophilia or whatever, are the perfect examples of the psychological defense mechanism, rationalization. A short brief. Defense mechanisms are humans' reactions against deep emotional or stressful physical experiences.

    Rationalization is a cognitive defence against, in particular, feelings of guilt that resulted from following primary urges or some other morally unacceptable behavior. (I'm talking about "guilty pleasures" here, if anyone is still lost.) So, to squelch the guilt, we justify this behaviour, to ourselves, in a nice logical manner, and invariably arrive at the conclusion that this behaviour was all-right really, and there was nothing wrong at all in doing it; so when we are perfectly comfortable with ourselves at last, we can do it all over again. I believe this defence mechanism classifies as neurotic.

    Of course, there's nothing to say that I did not myself read every rendition of the Girl-Who-Lived.
     
  20. KlavoHunter

    KlavoHunter Second Year

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    A factual error was bothering me about what everyone is saying in the reviews - Seeing as the Triwizard Tournament is on, wouldn't it be Harriet's Fourth Year, and she'd be 14, not 12, as everyone is bandying about?
     
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