Hello Tinn

 

...Which was intentional, I assure you. I refuse to copy and paste his name not because it did not occur to me, but because of the prevalence of Japanese katanas in stories. The writers use them instead of claymores, sabers or what have you not because they thought they were more practical, but because they are apparently cooler.

All the perceived insults past my first response are jokes are by Neil Swaab, writer of "Rehabiliating Mr. Wiggles". It's a humor strip so not meant to be insulting in the first place, it was out of context, I wanted to spread the joy of an animated teddy bear's murderous pedophilia, and so it was in essence a copy and paste job.

Most of my flames are for the Halo section, so I doubt they are very valid. What should I flame? Does a bad story count? Or should I suck it up and go after some immensely popular and non-slash fic?

 

I don't care what those blasted weeaboos think. There is no weapon cooler than a zweihander. No weapon. Even then, despite my love for zweihanders, I would never give Harry one, if I wrote fan fiction; never.

Part of the reason is because it would be immensely impractical, but mostly because magic is more than good enough. There's no reasonable reason to give him one when he already knows (or can learn) magic.

Also: That was pretty beautiful, Tinn; good job.

 

Not to mention that, from the books, it appears that magic is easier to learn than swordplay.

I've decided to go for all categories. This one's for the poster child of readable but badly implemented crossovers.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3449407/1/Harry_Potter_and_the_Ninja_Kitsune

So, what can I work on?

 

For a true flame, you must tear their very soul asunder with your cruel and sadistic words! Make them suffer!

 

Can someone take that as a template, and construct a more spirited flame?

I'll try again with another fic, but I don't have that flammable quality.

Edit: Yeah, that was a pretty bad attempt. It's like I have to start writing with a flame in mind in order to produce a constructive criticism. When I try a constructive criticism, I come off as a fanboy. When I am genuinely love the story... Following this logic, if I try to produce the most heinous thing that even the most debased of organisms would be insulted to read, I'll probably wind up with an average flame.

I've got an idea, but it involves me fabricating info about my birthday.

 

*offers around the popcorn*

 

The insulting and childish name calling is over - no point in popcorn when we aren't watching something amusing, Bratling.

And do I want to ask, Andro? Fabricating birth details? What, are you planning on going on Adultfanfiction and are under 17? Because if that's what it takes for you to write a great flame, start by checking out some of the WTF stuff. Marie M's contributions are especially depraved...

 

Flame that for me?

You can choose either the first chapter or the whole story; no expected length. That's an easy one. Very easy one.

Hullo Gullible.


*idly smacks Bratling on the back of the head with an axe on her way out*

 

Flames in this thread are almost always amusing, Malaga.

ow. *rubs the back of her head*

 

... That wasn't funny, Tinn. Criticizing that won't be hard. But a long and meaningful flame needs something to flame about, IMHO... 2.4k words in 4 chapters (one of them an A/N) is not it.

I dun think the author will cry much over a flame, especially when she thinks shit like this is worthy of putting up on the web, and gets 'omg update's left and right.

...Also you missed how she spelled 'vella'. >_> She doesn't have the brainpower to appreciate a flame. Not worth it.

 

I don't care about the author's response. There are many things wrong with this abomination of a fic, and plenty of material for a good flame. Those stories, for which there is no such things as "going too far", are good to practice flaming skills. Hell, some of the best flames I've seen were for My Immortal, and God knows it's even more retarded than the fic I linked.

And I didn't flame this fic. I gave it constructive criticism.

 

Malaga, you're probably right about the birthday, but if I attempt overkill, it'll probably end up average. Better safe than sorry.

Tinn Tam, that story hurts.

I'll edit in my review/flame. Is there a length that I should go for, or can I get away with a one-liner?

 

That's the kind of story for which you can get away with an one-liner, I guess. However, for pedagogic reasons, I suggest you do the one-liner AND the lengthy flame.

Kidding. Do whatever you want.

 

The middle-aged balding man crying blood is purely hypothetical.

 

Ah, not bad at all, Andro. Getting better. However, a true flame can also attack the author, not just their story. Next time you nail someone to the wall, make sure to hit their pride as well.

Other than that, I give it a 4/5.

Edit: I was going to flame the story, but just by looking at the reviews, I can tell reading it would make me want to hurt something. Thanks for doing that for me.

 

>_>

On a purely artistic level... I like flames to be more structured than yours is. Either going by themes or following the progression of the story (as did Lord Voldemort's flames for My Immortal). Then the impact is stronger than when you just write a succession of sentences/short paragraphs without connection between them.

But then again, I'm the one writing thousand(s)-of-words-long essay-like flames.

...Yeah. Shutting up now.

 

That's me Scion, the sacrificial goat. I'll take your advice into account for the next one. Tinn, your commentation is right, but I think the flame suited the fic, 'cause I had no idea where to fucking start! I was working on the flame until I realized that it was longer than the actual story, and there was still material, like "Decharm" being an incantation to cover. At that point, the cost-benefit thing really deteriorated and I clicked submit.

Until the next one, folks...