I took it to mean that Ron can't get it up. Serves him right for being born inbred. And being a total fucking douche.

You should always link to stories you post here. Many are full of unintentional lulz. And the world needs as much lulz as it can get.

 

The author submitted a review stating "The best story ever".

Flame this bitch. She deserves a grisly death.

 

Here's another atrocity. It's a pimple on the butt of the English Language...

Father of a Vampress » by Socialsimmy reviews Oleysa Potter is Harry's eldest kid who's going off 2 Hogwarts in luv wit Teddy but complications arrive wen her biggest rival is Victoire! mature things start to happen later, read, rate & love, death changes everything even your own concept of life! :Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 23,946 - Reviews: 4 - Updated: 2-10-08 - Published: 12-28-07

 

What's a Vampress?

 

The "RedLine" or "Vampress" is a synonym for a certain type of printing press - one that uses ammonia and Dragon's blood to animate the pictures and scroll text.

This particular printing press fell out of use after furious dragons, in destroying all stored Dragons's blood, caused the Great Fire of London.

 

In An Alternate Universe » by Ms-Figg reviews HGSS Roles are reversed. Hermione Granger and Severus Snape exchange places in the HP alternative universe, with Hermione as the Snarky Slytherin Potions Mistress and Snape as the young, smitten Age of Consent Gryffindor. Lemons, Humor. AU.Fiction Rated: M - English - Humor/Fantasy - Chapters: 40 - Words: 76,494 - Reviews: 339 - Updated: 2-11-08 - Published: 9-3-07

I don't really know what to say to this other than the obligatory 'kill it with fire'.

 

I checked the author's profile and I was scarred for life. Not really, but it seemed like a good figure of speech.

The woman (I say woman, for this is no fangirl, nay she is a grandmother of six) has written over 1,000,000 words of steamy Hermione/Sevvvvy...

She has the niche market covered quite thoroughly...

 

Why Just Watch? » reviews PWP. Graphic. Potions Apprentice Hermione Granger accidentally walks in on a very compromising scene involving the Potions Master and can't seem to walk away. AU/AR, D/s, H/C, Language, M/F, PWP, Spank, Voy, WIPHarry Potter - Fiction Rated: M - English - General - Chapters: 6 - Words: 9,220 - Reviews: 67 - Updated: 1-15-08 - Published: 1-11-08

I've read some sick shit (Family Whore is still the clear winner), but this is really pushing the boundary.

 

Oh gawd.

Is this what old women do at home?

I'll never look at my grandmother in the same way again.

 

She's only 46, younger than my mother.

 

A forty-six year old grandmother? Well, that answers some questions...

 

46 year old grandmother of 6?

Wonder if the name is Weasley?

 

I'm guessing they meant "Vampiress" meaning female vampire. Though there isn't actually a spelling for that, according to my dictionary...

 

Some of these even worse stories:

........

Grannies.

 

.....

Grannie's having a midlife crisis I think. Either that or she has a thing for young/old sex.....

 

Sounds good right? I clicked the link hoping for some sort of Patil on Patil goodness.

Thats the first line. And the line after that. And the chapter after that. For 21 chapters.

 

This is why 12 year olds shouldn't have access to the internet.

 

I wonder if someone shouldn't ... you know... report this.

 

There's a so-called "story" out there that does something similar. It has "THIS STORY IS SO EPIC" for thirty longish chapters last time I saw it.

Edit: I take that back. The idiot who's been "writing" it changed it so each chapter reads "EPIC!!!!" I went and found it, and the moron has done it in six different fandoms. http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1349457/Epic_Writer

 

Bitches can do it themselves.