Which brings me to another issue: Why didn't Harry make a point of stocking up on food, minor painkillers, and healing potions before he left Hogwarts every year? If he was determined to hide what was happening in that house from Arthur and Molly, he still had ways to ameliorate the misery.

The history of abuse and neglect would have developed an automatic tendency to take precautions, even when he was just eleven. I can (barely) see him being caught flatfooted that first summer - when they confiscated his property and locked him in his room. After that, he should have been prepared. Expect them to lock up his trunk and wand - so he should have sent the important stuff via Hedwig from the Hogsmeade station. A bottomless bag isn't a hard concept to grasp - arrange for someone to buy one for him, or he could have had a featherlight spell cast on the package (if he doesn't want to ask one of the professors, he could have asked an upper level student.) He shouldn't have given any of the Dursleys an opportunity to lock up his owl with him. Tell her to avoid the house when Vernon and Dudley are around, or only to come to the window after midnight.

Heck, send his property to Ms Figg - by then, he knew she was magical.

 

That reminds me - Did they ever leave the property while child!Harry was trapped in the cupboard? How long would it have taken Vernon to open the MANY locks on Harry's door, if the building had caught fire?
I know that they used Ms Figg as a babysitter sometimes, but what did they do when she was unavailable?

 

Sex at Hogwarts? Apparently the astronomy tower is fairly popular... though that alone should be reason enough to stay away. 'First place they'd look' and all that.

With all the unused classrooms (they were making whole floors/wings off limits, so there have to be plenty), there's no reason you shouldn't be able to unlock one and clean it up a bit.

If you have a worshipful elf as a slav- uh, buddy, you could ask them to find a likely spot.

There are, of course, worries that every painting reports back to the headmaster... Well, for the ambitious horndog, a few bubblehead charms, some warming charms and a way to keep the grindylows at bay and you could simply fuck a few meters down in the lake.

Who the hell is going to walk in on you down there? Sure, the merfolk might peek but I sincerely doubt they can be arsed to report student couplings to Dumbledore. Of course... actually doing the deed underwater might be difficult but, hey, piece of mind is hard won for the ultra-paranoid.

I have it on good authority the squid never rats anyone out.

Of course, an abandoned classroom and the Fidelius Charm are a combination you just can't beat, with or without the wizard tent as a finishing touch... unless you have exclusive access to a Chamber of Secrets and can do that nifty Fidelius thingy.

 

My God. I'm wondering if you were able to enjoy the books at all, since you're worrying about the plausibility of every little aspect of them. Do we need to look for every single minuscule plothole in the whole series? I'm probably heartless, but I couldn't care less whether Creevey's parents were warned that their son was petrified. Why does it matter, anyway, unless you are (for some reason that is beyond my comprehending) interested in knowing the whole administrative system of the school?

Same goes for the Dursleys; why would anyone want to know exactly what amount of abuse they gave Harry, and how much of it was potentially illegal? I personally don't care. JKR shouldn't have to explain what isn't essential to the plot, unless she absolutely wants to drown us in heaps of useless theory and details that have no place in the storyline.

As for the main topic: ...if you dig a bit, you could find a couple of tons of shitty books relating the sexual prowesses/drug-experimenting of teenagers at school already. The fact that Harry Potter isn't one of them never prevented me from sleeping at night.

 

Just a thought that made me laugh while reading Tinn's post...

How could we expect to have JKR drown us in loads of theory and details that have no place in the story-line when we have so little detailed knowledge of things that actually mattered?

But back to the post at hand...sure, a little sex would be interesting (though used mainly to cover up for lack of real plot), but drug use is prevalent enough in real life..why would we actually want to read about it in our fantasy novels and/or fanfiction as well?

 

We're not asking her to do that. We're asking her to think shit out before she writes it down, so that if someone asks her about it, she doesn't give a dumbass answer.

 

I keep slamming up against the idea that seven four-hundred-page books didn't have more ...depth. I enjoyed the series (just like everyone else, or we wouldn't be here,) but it could have been so much more.
On the other hand, we have all those nifty concepts, creative spells, characterizations (some of which were interesting and different,) watching the kids grow and the truly fascinating details about Hogwarts. Her ideas give us lots of points of departure from canon.

I read a short story once, titled something like, "Painting by Numbers." In it, Voldemort had been defeated, but in the process most of civilization had been destroyed, including everyone and everything he loved. Harry used his awe-inspiring power to create a large underground room, and filled it with magical portraits and paintings. He happily died there, and woke up in one of the paintings, looking forward a long vision of eternity without pain.

It's one of the better psychological torture stories I've ever read.

Edited to add:
"Paint by Numbers," by Wheezy1 (because it's rude to not give the reference)

 

It was one of my favorites too. It had realistic emotional depth and explored those darker aspects of the series that Rowling had to leave out.

Very interesting- I'd recommend it.