Okay I didn't see any other topics on this exact thing but I could be wrong.

I was just wondering what hates and stuff you had when reading a fic?

Like me I love to read Dark Harry stories and stuff, But when all of a sudden Harry needs allies and there not up to scratch he some how needs to train them to be super strong like him. Uhgg I absolutely hate that , I like my Harry to be powerful by himself and mostly alone or just a few allies that have talents in other areas besides power like Harry.

I just read a story like that and God was it annoying=(

I also pretty much hate alot of romance stories now because it seems like it totally takes away from the main plot nowadays, and just plain annoying.
I think I have read so much fan-fiction with romance in it that I'm just sick of it all.

If I were Harry, and I was trying to get rid of a Dark Lord, I would not waste my time on some pubescent twat while trying to fight him. Thats just plain stupidity.

So what are all your peeves and bad things you hate in fics and little things you find really annoying?

 

I really dislike fic's where Harry get's a massive inheritance, is heir to several houses including the founders and has the entire Goblin nation bowing to him. Also fic's where the Harry buy's a whole new wardrobe and the rest of the fic is devoted to describing what he's wearing at that moment.

 

You didn't search too hard, did you? As in not at all?

I'll just quote a post of mine from last July:

There are probably more threads but I linked a few to search with all the hate in your hearts.

 

I really, really, really dislike fics where Arthur Weasely, who has been came across as an indecisive eccentric nobody in all the books, becomes Minister of Magic, just so that Ron does not have to be a poor jealous git.

And I think most people hate the clichés so I'll refrain from mentioning those.

 

And here I thought we were finally going to talk about Peeves.

 

I looked in general section through the first 6 pages...I didn't find any so I didn't feel like going further and bringing up a very old topic which is what those back pages are...so it's either get bashed for making a new topic,or get bashed for bringing up an old one.

This thread is still open to discussion. But I wanna hear the really little things that tick you off in a fanfic, not cliches but little things...Like for me I hate it when Hermione gets all in a huff and Harry has to bash her, It's fun for a while but why can't she just listen the first time?

 

Very well, Sword of Elisha, I shall tell you the little things that annoy me.

I get annoyed in fanfiction when Harry has a child. This ruined Shake Me for me to some extent as well as one of the older fics, Always and Forever, when I was going through a weird H/Hr phase.

Besides children, I get annoyed at pets. Not enough to cause me to stop reading, but I don't like pets very much and it kind of kills it for me for Harry to spend time speaking with his fucking animals instead of socializing like a normal being.

Kiddies mentioned, pets mentioned, ah yes. I despise the Weasley family and get annoyed whenever Harry lets Molly do anything relating to him. Mollywobbles dared to "clean up" Grimmauld Place in canon. It was probably more silver and riches than she had seen in a lifetime and she threw them away and made Harry work like a House elf. I've seen this in some stories to. It is his house, his riches, cursed or not, and no ginger haired beggar should put their grubby little fingers on them.

Lately I've been annoyed by Dark!but lightside Harry. It seems as if the authors want Harry to use the Dark Arts but don't want him to be evil towards Hermione, Won-won and "goddess" Ginevra. Kill them all, I say, and let Merlin pick his own.

 

I'll bite.

1. Fics where Harry is bff with Ron and Hermione. I like fics where they either drift apart or Harry drops them as friends entirely.

2. Fics where the plot revolves around the Weasley's. Fuck them.

3. Fics where Hermione leads Harry around by his dick. This may or may not be H/HR, but it has Hermione bossing and controlling Harry around more than canon, which when I think about it, is pretty difficult considering DH's Super!Hermione.

4. Harry/Ginslut. May be tied in with peeve #2.

5. Slash fics.

6. Evil!Dumbledore fics with no originality, with the same old cliches of stealing Harry's money, power blocks, Spy!friends, obliviation when Harry finds out, etc. This stuff is old, unoriginal, and overused. If you are doing an evil or manipulative!Dumbledore, use your fucking imagination. In my opinion, when doing a manipulative!Dumbledore, subtlety is the best way to go. Dumbledore isn't that heavy handed.

7. Certain pairings not H/G. This includes Hermione/Ron, Ginny/Draco, Hermione/Draco, Tonks/Remus (yes I know this is canon, but it's just wrong and creepy. I deny this pairing with a passion).

8. Bad grammar and writing. You can tell when a fic is written by a 14 year old.


There's more than this but I don't feel like writing out a long ass reply. These are some of the main ones which turn me off when reading a fic.

edit: Methene reminded me.

10. Fics where Harry has a pet, which is almost always some kind of snake.

11. Fics where Harry is a phoenix animagus, or some other magical creature. This includes fics where Harry/Hermione/Ron/Ginslut/Luna all become animagi and give each other names like the Marauders. Goddamn this pisses me off.

 

Oh, that is annoying.

I personally hate fics where Harry goes to America and it's pretty much Utopia. America may be nice and all but it isn't fucking Candyland.

 

Things that annoy me? Well, here they are:

1}
Harry not thinking for himself...
For example Ginny/Hermione/someone else thinking for him or Harry just listening to them, for they have never been wrong etc... see anything by chemprof.... when I was in H/Hr stage it was nice, but than I sterted noticing small details like "I'll listen to her for she has never been wrong before" or "she's the only one who's always stood by my side"

2)
Dumbledore bashing ...
I mean, come on, he's like 120 or something like that and been into politics for at least 20-30 years! He has fame, authority, connections and more experience than all Hogwarts students altogether! He might be foolish (who isn't) might be missing some details in the grand scheme of things or just be outright heartless bastard willing to sacrafice people for what he believes is the greater good, but he is not stupid, at least not stupid enough to be outsmarted by a bunch of school kids... and we always read endless rants about Dumbledore being betrayer (kudos to ip82 for Yin and Yang)... if Dumbledore is to be bashed or whatever I'd like tosee it done with a style...

3)
Soulbonds/soulmates etc..
I know that HPverse is at the brink of a war and people act in unpredictable ways, but when I read about 15/16 years old male choosing a wedding ring etc... well it's just creepy, I mean, how many people you know who decided that they've found their true love and decided to marry them? it's just unrealistc!!

4)
Some country being an utopia...
There is no country that is the bestest in da world... there's no utopia... and seeing how wizarding world is xenophobic I'd say that wizards stick together and there aren't many diffrences. What I mean is that wizarding Britain isn't in stoneage and states/Japan/rest of the world (pick any of them) aren't better and more advanced. They all have some ups and downs...

5)
Realism of the stories... (see points 1-3)
By that I have on mind no Deus Ex Machina as well...

Now, my rant is over, there's much more, but why bother, you know what I have on mind anyway...

 

Methene hit the nail on the head with Molly, I despise her probably more than the rest of the gingers (yes even Ginny). Bill and Charlie are okay in my book though.

Ranting!Harry is another peeve of mine, all it proves is he likes acting like an 8 yr old retard. I prefer him being silent and calculating, guess thats why I enjoy well written political fics as he has to know when to keep his wits about him.

Stories where Harry's moods swing faster than an emo on crack. Fucken' emos...

Any fic where Lupin is given more than a few paragraphs of screen-time, at the most. In my opinion he's one of the most bland, uninteresting and pathetic characters in Potterverse, with the whole "beggar and misunderstood Dark Creature" act going for him. Let him embrace the wolf! Also Tonks being paired with him is just wrong on so many levels... one of them being I'm a Honks fan.

And last but not least fics where Shacklebolt is killed off. The nigger is too damn cool to die!

Most of these won't make me drop a well written and thought out fic, but they are annoying as hell.

 

Peeves sucks. Face it, he should have been reducto'd in PS.

Anyway, mine:

1. Hermione/Ron. I don't give a shit what the fic is, or your justification, you can fuck off and die if you write that.

2. Harry/Ginny. Same.

3. Pussy!Harry. "Oh noes, how can I kill the man who murdered my parents and hundreds of other people!" Grow some fucking balls, you cunt.

4. Slash. I don't want to read about Harry sucking Draco's dick.

5. Mary-Sue!Hermione. The answer to every problem is not in a library book, no matter how much you want it to be. And visiting the US, getting a tan, slutty clothes and a boob job does not make you the most popular girl in school, or make your best friend want to jump you on the Express. It turns you into a slut.

6. Ginny. Kill the bitch and be done with it.

7. Ron. Unless he's stuffing his mouth with food, annoying Harry about Quidditch, "flirting" with Hermione, or joining the Dark Side, everything else he does is OOC. He is a pathetic sack of shit, and should have been dumped by Harry during the Triwizard Tournament.

8. Vamp!Werewolf!Harry, or any other character for that. Unless they are swiftly killed, or turned to the Dark Side. Harry is the exception to that rule.

9. Molly. Can't add more to what Methene's already said.

10. Spy!Hermione. Ron, sure, but Hermione actually has a brain underneath all that bushy hair.

11. Inheriting 1x10^26 galleons from Sirius.

12. Goblins attempting to suck Harry's dick after he recognizes Griphook.

13. Manipulative!Dumbledore. I want an Evil!Dumbledore, not this wishy-washy, "for the greater good" bullshit.

14. Other prophecies. No. Seeing as the original didn't come true (Voldemort kills himself!!!!zomg!!!111!!1!1!), neither should any others.

15. Quidditch. Fuck that shit. Harry should be licking some bitch's pussy while the game's on. Or preferably training, the fucking idiot.

16. Betrayed!Harry. He'll always have allies, even if it's just the Mudblood. And I'd prefer it if it was.

17. Metrosexual!Harry. 'Nuff said.

18. Weak as piss Death Eaters. They should be able to recognize a gun, seeing as they've killed Muggles before.

19. SexGod!Harry. No, just no.

20. Dark!Harry for no reason whatsoever. See Harry Potter and the Blood Rose.

21. LeadAroundByHisDick!Harry. I like Hermione, I really do, but if she turns Harry into her bitch, I'm clicking that red "x".

22. "Hermione's always been right." Then Harry fucks her.

23. "I can't have feelings like that, she's my best friend!"

24. Soulbonded!Harry. No matter who it is.

25. Male Veela. The story will either be slash, or found on adultfanfiction.net. And feature Harry fucking everyone from Ginny to McGonagall, from Ron to Dumbledore.

26. Harry proposing at the tender age of 15/16, one day into his relationship.

27. The Weasleys as Harry's surrogate family. Fuck off, he's got Sirius and Remus for that.

28. Malfoy-that-has-only-one-name-for-the-trio. "Oh look - it's Potty, Weasel, and the Mudblood".

29. Fics where Harry expounds the virtues of the Purebloods.

30. Fics where Narcissa and Molly are MILFs.

31. SexuallyActive!Dumbledore.

32. Post-Epilogue shit.

33. Post-Epilogue H/Hr shit. Yeah, that pisses me off so much it gets its own number.

"Gee Harry, now that we've divorced our spouses of two decades at nearly the same time, what are we to do?"

"I don't know. How about we declare our undying love for each other, get married, have another child, and fuck like rabbits?"

"Good idea!"

34. AU fics where all the author does is change the characters' names. Doctor Who is still Doctor Who, even if you switched the Doctor for Harry and Rose for Tonks.

35. Good!FuckingHarry!Bella. Which I suppose puts me at odds with most of DLP.

36. Ron/Anyone. The only thing worthy of the ginger nut's pleasures is his own hand.

37. Characters suddenly becoming exhibitionists, engaging in dogging or voyuerism, or any other kind of sexual fetish.

38. Harem!Harry, or anyone for that matter.

39. Luna becoming a Seer, Prophet, Oracle, or any other bullshit.

40. Harry becoming a magical animagus.

41. Harry becoming an animagus, and never using the ability for anything constructive.

42. Remus or Sirius calling Harry "pup", "pronglet", or any other oddity. Last time I checked they weren't gay and/or retarded.

43. "Poor me" Lupin. Bums are only funny in musicals or stage productions.

44. Lupin/Tonks. She can do a lot better than a 40-year old werewolf.

45. Ipods, Simple Plan, mobile phones or Xboxes being present in the 1990's.

46. Draco/Ginny and Ron/Luna, just because the author has Harry/Hermione.

47. Good!Draco.

48. Self-insertions.

49. Harry getting an earring/piercing.

50. Bill being "uber-cool".

51. Bill/Fleur. Yeah, I know it's canon, fuck off.

52. Albus Severus. Need I say more?

53. Redeemed!Dursleys.

54. Harry being ritualistically abused by a man with the same amount of muscle as a five-year old, and as much fat as a blue whale.

55. Snape/Anyone.

56. InLoveWithLily!Snape.

57. Harry giving his friends Marauder nicknames.

58. Harry becoming Prank King of Hogwarts.

59. Golden Patronusseseses.

60. [insert spell here] Maximus!

61. Voldemort randomly torturing underlings.

62. Horcruxes - because retconning sucks.

63. The Deathly Hallows - because retconnning still sucks.

64. "Heir of Slytherin, Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Chuck Norris" Harry.

 

Since we have had a huge amount of 'what annoys me in Harry Potter Fanfiction posts, I am just going to do a 'what I hate in fanfiction in general' post.

1. Review whoring. I nearly click the big red X (and sometimes I do) when I see an author talking about how they won't write without x number of reviews.

2. Author's notes either within a chapter or as a chapter by itself. Anything that needs to be said can easily be listed below the chapter. Putting short author's note as a chapter by itself is only truly annoying when you are waiting for an update and the author sticks in an author's note as a chapter saying it will take another two weeks...

3. That stupid, fucking 'muse' thing where all the twelve-year-olds talk to their muse in all CAPS and 'squeeeee!!!!!' about how sexy some male character's body is.

4. Badly done emotional scenes in which two characters fight for useless reasons with badly-done responses. I.E. the beginning of some random Naruto fic where Kakashi for some reason randomly hates Naruto and calls him 'The Kyuubi' and 'That Demon Spawn' and it is already three-fourths of the way through the series. WTF? If you want the characters to be OOC than it better be an AU fic.

5. Bad smut...

6. Authors sending you an e-mail about a review that was only somewhat negative, and in a constructive way, to whine about you being too harsh and far too critical.

7. Any usage of 'sweat drop' or 'face-plant' or whatever the hell they call it.

8. An author placing little jokes or quips in the story that give it an obvious air of being made by an amateur. Such as:

There is no reason for that shit. It takes away from the story in a huge way.

 

Well most of the ones I was going to list were said by The Doctor or Methene. However, there is one thing that really annoys me, which I don't believe anyone has brought up.

Author's skewring up Voldemort's name, and I'm not just talking about Moldyshorts or Dark Wanker, which by themselves are quite ridiculous. I'm talking about character's saying Voldemort's name. In cannon it is quite clear most in the wizarding don't say Voldemort's name. They refer to Voldemort like this.

Muggleborns, Light families, Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs, Aurors, and even the Minister of Magic often refer to him as He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named or You-Know-Who.

Death Eaters, Pro-Voldemort Purebloods, Slytherins, and in some cases Ravenclaws refer to Voldemort as the Dark Lord.

There are very few people who say Voldemort's name. I think Dumbledore, Harry, Mudblood whore, and the Marauders minus Pettigrew are the ones who have the balls to say Voldemort.

When authors butcher that up, not only does it annoy me, it makes the character seem OC. It might just be me, but this really gets on my nerves.

 

I agree with you on the making fun of Voldemort's name thing. There are so many fics where Harry goes around calling Voldemort 'Moldyshorts', 'Dark Wanker', etc. It's not cool or 'edgy'. It's immature and fucking retarded. Any fic that displays this level of retardedness is automatic red x.

Also, there is no such thing as Light families, Light wizards, Light side, etc. This is one of the worst fanon creations ever. Don't be fucking lazy by calling Dumbledore and ministry supporters anything with Light as an adjective. I made a bigass thread on this awhile back. I should have mentioned this in my first post because this is one of my biggest pet peeves. It was bearable the first 50 times I saw it. Now, unless it's extremely well written, or unless it's an author I really enjoy, fics where Light wizards/families/side is mentioned more than once or twice is almost an instant red x.

 

Unless you actually make Light magic a reality, as opposed to all non-Dark magic being light automatically. Still, it's usable, and it helps separate the 'bad guys' from the 'good guys' for all the little kiddies that don't understand that not all people are bad or good.

Biggest pet peeve I can think of is just misspelling a character's name. There is no one called Professor MacGonagle or the Dark Lord Voldermont, and especially Lilly Evans/Potter. It's an insult to the world of literature for people to get the names of the damn characters wrong! Sometimes I wish for the age when most people didn't even have the chance to read (not to be confused with being unwilling to do it), when books were reserved for the elite and the clergy. At least they were somewhat looked after then.

Aekiel

 

Things I that annoy me in fanfiction...

1. Know-it-all-Hermione: Politics, laws, how to ride a broomstick, spells, mating seasons of the European Sparrow, doesn't matter. Hermione will have the answer.

2. Indi!Harry believes item #1. He's just being a lazy idiot and not doing the research himself.

3. And fic that has 'your' where 'you're' is appropriate or confuse 'there', 'their', and 'they're'. LEARN SOME FUCKING ENGLISH BEFORE YOU WRITE!

4. Harry sobbing or wailing in grief. Shed a tear is OK, but anything more is authors trying to raise the angst levels or show a super sensitive Harry.

5. Lawful-stupid!Harry. All that nobility makes me want to gag. Let the guy spill some blood or rape a deatheater for gods sake.

6. Badly written Manipulative!Dumbledore. The guy is over 100 years old, has been a prominent wizard for at least 60 years, been in politics for just that long so he's too sneaky to be exposed so utterly by a 16 year old.

 

Ok, a thing that annoys me more and more in fanfiction and that no one has mentioned so far - tooting-his-horns!Harry.

Or more precisely, a tendency to verbally augment Harry's successes into fantastic, epic victories won solely due to Harry's amazing powers and strength of character, while portraying his slightly troubled childhood as the unmentionable diabolical ordeal the kind of which no one in the entire history of the world has ever suffered through.

Oh, poor wittwe Hawwy, what did those muggle do to you? Had you sleep in a smallish room/largish closet? Never gave you presents for Christmas!? Oh woes, how in the world did you grow up so well, with only minor psychological trauma that makes you only more adorable and cuddle-worthy!? Of course you can have special status at Hogwarts and permission to do magic, that's the least we can do after all the suffering that old bastard Dumbledore has put you through!

Newsflash, dipshit. Harry may have not had the perfect childhood, but he was damn well better off than millions of other kids who are not magical, not important, don't have hidden caches of gold waiting for them and actually get buggered and beaten by their guardians, instead simply forced to do a couple of chores and sleep on a cot instead of a real bed.

And Harry's adventures, that are a subject of so much intermingled whining and bragging throughout the fanfictions? Big deal! Harry didn't single-handedly defeat Voldemort at the tender age 11. He screamed and shut his eyes and Lily's protection did the rest. He didn't kill the basilisk on his own; Fawkes and Sorting Hat did most of the work, he just stuck the sword out and got lucky. He's not the world's greatest authority on Patronius Charm; it took him a whole year to learn it and even then, he only did it thanks to the time-turner incident. He didn't save Sirius and Buckbeak from Dementors, Dumbledore manipulated him into it. He didn't single-handedly win the Triwizard Tournament; half a dozen different helpers dragged him by his dick through it. He didn't mastermind DA - Hermione did. Etc, etc...

And yet, there we have, dozens upon dozens of fanfiction characters, gasping and gaping and getting blown off their feet by Harry's amazing accomplishments and powers. "Wow Harry, you did all that? You're amazing! Feel free to stick your pre-teen weaner up my 25 year old auror cunt any time you like"... All the wile, of course, we have a different gallery of characters who feel sorry for what the poor helpless child had to 'suffer' through, as if any random street urchin hasn't been through 10-times worse ordeal, only without the amazing magical world in-between the bad parts...

I mean, OK, I understand the need to make Harry a bit more respect-worthy by augmenting his lucky victories and moderately neglectful childhood into a proper super-abused-super-talented-hero combo (I do it too). But lately, it feels like this tendency to rewrite history has gone too far. Some canon-twisting is fine, but please, let's not make canon into something it simply isn't. If I had to read through another tedious eulogy of what an amazing yet unfortunate young man Harry is, or a rose-tinted account of his adventures...

...heh, I guess this is how canon!Snape must have felt like. The sole untainted logical mind in the see of brainwashed sycophantic Harry-lovers. Poor, poor guy.

 

I get annoyed reading the same with Dumbledore: "Dumbles," "Bumblebore," "Bumblebee," etc. Or Deatheaters: "Deathmunchers," "Deathnibblers..." Isn't fanon!Harry clever enough to come up with something slightly less inane?

Add to that the obligatory parroting of the phrase "Fear of the name only promotes fear of the thing itself" or some variant, designed to let Harry hitch a ride on the Dumbledore credibility express. Please. There's a pretty good reason for everyone but the lemony überwizard to fear Voldemort--those who don't tend to end up dead. Harry's an idiot for trotting this chestnut out every time someone says "You-know-who" instead of the less polite, "Nigga Lord."

Let's see--other peeves.... It's been said, but fics that devote more than a single, short paragraph to the obligatory shopping trip. I don't care if it happens; just don't tell me about it. It's a bunch of stores, not Mecca. (I don't even want a play-by-play from my wife's shopping and, hell, it's my money).

A final (probably picky) one is the motif where a minor character, usually Neville, is portrayed as this lovable loser. Then, by virtue of Harry's super-duper teaching, said character learns to do the most basic thing, something he should have been able to do in his first year: locate his pet, tie his shoes, cast a disarming spell, bang a Weasley, whatever. This is seen as a watershed event in the story. Thereafter, Harry is hailed as a Great Leader. I know it's petty, but it reminds me too much of being forced to cheer the retarded kid in grade school whenever he shot a basket in P.E.