Title: The Poker Game
Author: Enterprise1701-d
Rating: T
Genre: Humor
DLP Category: Humor
Pairing: None
Status: Work in Progress
Summary: Draco organizes a no-hold-barred poker game. Harry decides to compete...
Link: The Poker Game

An interesting little piece. The first chapter has Luna betting herself.

 

Dupe, I think.

 

Forgive my ignorance, but what?



To the story, thats the single most unrealistic poker scene I've ever read. Mildly entertaining, but not nearly enough to offset the overwhelming annoyance presented by the game itself. Number one, ultra high stakes 5 card draw is just fucking weird. Play something with community cards; its a lot more skill and a lot less luck. Number two, the hands. Jesus fucking Christ man, two full houses in one round? Not impossible, but its not gonna happen. Then two flushes in a round, one clubs one hearts. For some reason a low club flush was 'almost equal' to a King high hearts flush, so they split the pot "so that Dumbledore wasn't out of the game just yet." Hello? Didn't you say this was "ultra high stakes" not two pages ago? Fuckwit.

If you don't play poker, don't write poker. Period.

1/5

 

Wow, that is shocking. The author doesn't even know how poker works. I read until two people had flushes, one had king high and the other not king high and they split the pot. That is just total bollocks.

1/5.

 

What no sex? pffft


1/5

(It is actually quite terrible... even if you over look the poker)

 

It was amusing for a while, then it got retarded by adding more to the Harem. Would'a been fine with just the first four girls. And no smut? Outrageous! 1/5 from me.

 

Even if the poker had been done well - which... it wasn't - it still wouldn't necessarily have made for a good story.

And there's only so much poker you can write in 58,000 words.

 

It started with an interesting idea. A poker game. Betting useless twats and lives of servitude like their chips.

And then in the midst of a nifty idea, a seriously god awful cliched shitty fic broke out. The "poker" is nearly horrible. Something tells me the authors played "poker" with their friends and assumed they knew how to play the game.

But if they even caught one episode of any of a million poker tv shows, they'd see just how far off their understanding of the game is.

Still, I give points for effort in trying to make a poker game.

From there it goes from bad to worse. I'm probably a lot more sympathetic to the guy than most around here, but quite frankly the plot gets Kinsfired.

Damaged little Harry taking care of his bitches, treating them lovingly, honorably, lots of hugs and girls wanting him to do more. More and more girls throwing themselves to become objects of Harry's willing to give up their freedom just to be another whore in Harry's whore stable. But without the sex or smut because Harry's too honorable for that.

This is just bad. The title and initial idea are enough to make you think "It's probably not that bad. I'll give it a try." Trust your DLP brethren. And just save yourself the frustration.

And no IP, I don't think this is a dupe.

 

...Everything I want to say has already been said.

Even if this had had smut, it couldn't be saved (unless it were really, really weird smut for the lulz).

1/5

 

I'm a bit of a poker maven myself. The, uh, 'high-stakes' poker in this story fails to impress. 2/5 because the story was moderately entertaining when I wasn't irritated by the author's obvious ignorance of how poker is actually played.

 

Hmm, I was sure this had already been posted at one point...

Anyway, I agree with everyone. A solid idea that was totally ruined by crappy execution. I don't play poker, but even I know the point of that game isn't to get the best hand every time - which is apparently the only way this author knows to win. Pathetic.

I haven't read past halfway through chapter 1, but judging by other reviews, I haven't missed much.

 

2/5. Nonjon has said it all.

 

I read the funny Naruto version of this story:
The Night The House of Cards Was Built - http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3480341/1/

 

So why did I waste ten minutes of my life on this? Evantide, get better standards.

 

Since I was able to read all five chapters, I can't call it trash. That being said, it is mediocre and derivative. 2 stars.

 

Sorry for the bad story people. My usual standards were shot today. I actually thought the poker thing was original because I've never seen it before. Again, sorry for the bad rec.

 

Face, meet palm.

 

Standard Harem bullshit.

1/5, only because I can't give it a lower rating.

 

You've mastered time travel, yet the lowest score you could come up with was a 1?

 

If you'd prefer, I could go back and erase him from the timeline...