I've recently been struck by a rather interesting plot bunny. What if Dumbledore had thought to tell Harry about his needing to die in order for Voldemort to die? Harry would, not wanting this, discover a ritual by way of Hermione that would destroy the horcrux in his head as well as Voldemort. The ritual works perfectly, Voldemort is gone, the horcrux is destroyed. However Harry soon notices the unwanted side-effect. He is now a squib.

After a short time skip we see Harry has now started a wizarding private detective buisness witha partner who, while a wizard, isnt a vey good one, perhaps Neville. Or even better, random girls. Harry isnt completly useless though. He has aquired two very powerful enchanted objects to help him. The first is a Police box, which is larger on the inside than it is on the outside, that will take him anywhere (to replace his need for apparation), the second is a magical screwdriver which is capable of influencing wards, enchantments and other magical things and any other deux et machina neccessary at the time. All the while he is searching for Voldemorts Horcrux's in order to prevent him rising again.

And yes I am aware that squib Harry is autophail, still...

 

So, you want an Doctor Who crossover without the Doctor? Instant fail.

 

This story has already been written. It's called Doctor Who, that story was so good, they made a T.V series from it!

 

That just may be the suckiest idea I have ever heard.

3 parts Squib!Harry.

1/2 a spoon of Doctor who without the Doctor.

Dash of Wizarding Private detectives other than Dresden.

Fail soup.

 

Fail soup: fuel for the epic flame-writer.

 

Am I the only one that read this and thought:

"Here Harry, have a magic screwdriver."
"What's in it?"
"Three parts vodka, five parts magical orange juice."
"How do you make magical orange juice?"
"Magic oranges, of course."

And for what it's worth, magic oranges have more win than squib Harry.

 

Why on Earth would I loan the TARDIS, the best ship in the universe, capable of travelling to any point in time and space, to a man who could just as easily ride the bus?

He can have a Sonic, though. I's got about 500 of dems.

 

Stop role-playing. Now.

 

Thought it was appropriate, and a bit more entertaining then bangwagoning and saying this plot bunny sucks. Which it does. If Harry needs to get somewhere, why doesn't he use a broom along with his Invisibility Cloak. They're not reliant on his magical core to work.

 

The above just reminded me of the fact that there's a cocktail called a 'Sonic Screwdriver', which is basically a combination of vodka and blue Gatorade. I might try it myself, onetime.